Living the Normal Life
by Paladone
Summary: (I returned) Gohan starts the morning with a great deal of fresh macho stupidity, while Pilaf considers his plan. And what role will Goku and Pikehan play? Gohan/Videl Humor/Action/Romance
1. The Mistake, or, Day of the Flying Tree

Disclaimer: I don't own Gohan, Any of the students, Videl (oooooh, I wish I did though). I DO own the authors that agreed to be cameos (and those who didn't) ^_^.   
  
Notes: YUP YUP. This is going to be a fun, interesting 33/33/34 humor/romance/action story with the (up till now) the least admired couple in DBZ, Gohan/Videl. In a way, however, it's A/U. Gohan and Videl are 14 (so no lemons, perverts :P), and there is no future Buu saga (which, in my opinion, sucked). But there IS a returning Villain (to make things interesting), and a lot of fic mocking (WHAT? THE BASTARDS KIDNAPPED HER?). And for gods sake, no Saiyaman. Well, this ought to be interesting, here goes....   
  
  
**Living the 'Normal' Life**   
  
  
Creak....creeeeeeaaaakkkkk.......creeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk   
  
The sun was slowly creeping over the distant hill, shining mildly on the peaceful wood below. Birds chirped their morning greetings lazily, and the rooster crowed his morning alarm. A lone house occupied this haven from society, sheltering an unusual woman and her two even more unusual children. One of whom was up rather early.   
  
Creeeeeeaaaakk...........creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..........   
  
Son Gohan, the older boy, heard him tiptoeing, the creaks awakening him from a deep sleep. He yawned, still not opening his eyes, and brushed a wild lock of deep black hair out of his eye. Sunlight crept unwelcomely over the windowsill, breaking the nice, cozy darkness. The boy protected himself from the intruder, and threw the blanket over his head.   
  
Creeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaak...............squuueeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaakkkkk.....   
  
There went the door. He mumbled a silent prayer that maybe, just maybe, just this once, **_HE_** wouldn't--   
  
SLAM! **_"GOOD MOWNIN BIG BWUVVAAAAA!!!!!!!!" POW!_**   
  
Gohan's eyes shot open as the entire bed seemed to transform into a massive earthquake, while his 3-year old brother bounced around on top. The little fireball then shimmied over the blankets, popping his nose right up to Gohan's. "Wakey WAKEY!"   
  
"Good Morning Goten. Big brother is TIRED and wants to sleep a little more, okay?" He rolled over in bed, yet the face popped in front of him again, eyes wide open and mischevious. "WANNA PLAY!"   
  
"It's 5:30 in the morning Goten, go AWAY. Why dont' you try sleeping in...."   
  
Roll. POP. "I'm not sleepy anymore!"   
  
Gohan sighed and opened his mouth to roar his tormenter into submission, then yelped as Goten's Glacier-Cold feet drove into the small of his pajama back, kicking him off the bed. The boy simply lay there upon contact, face down on the hardwood floor, praying for the patience needed to conmplete the morning ritual.   
  
Goten clung to Gohan's pajama leg as he got up, urging his tired sibling onto greater speeds. Gohan attempted to comb his hair and make his bed, ignoring the extra weight, but of course, his hair refused to cooperate, and his bed would probably never be clean again with Goten around.   
  
"FASTA! FASTA!"   
  
Gohan chuckled, the morning grumpiness out of his system, and a boyish, evil little grin spread across his face. In a flash, he kicked up and pressed Goten on his back, proceeding to tickle him outrageously. "Faster, you said? Faster!? FASTER?"   
  
The tiny little boy kicked and screamed, giggling uncontrollably. "heeeheeeEEHEEHHHEEEEEHEEEEE!! WAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!! STo-stAHAHAHAAHAAHAHA! Somebodyeeheheee, he-hel-he--GYAHAHHAHAEEEHEEEEHEEEEE!!!" Gohan laughed along, enjoying the simple pleasure of tormenting his younger brother, as all older brothers do. (You KNOW it's true)   
  
Finally, Gohan quit, still laughing, and pulled Goten to his feet. "Peace?"   
  
Goten giggled mischeviously however, and jumped up, pushing SOMETHING into Gohan's pajama back. And it was cold. And had many little bitty legs.   
  
"GYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The older boy did a mad shuffling dance, attempting to scrape the clingly little creature off.   
  
"It's a millipedey I found and put in the refigatatator. Like it?" Goten giggled and ran off to the other side of the room.   
  
"Oh you little worm-!" Gohan prepared to chase Goten in the usual Chase-Catch-Crunch game, but a different voice rose from downstairs to interrupt the fun. "All right you two, that's enough! Come on, up and attem, breakfast'll be ready soon. Gohan, you take your brother and get me some firewood, will you? I'm nearly out."   
  
"Kay mom!" yelled Gohan. He looked at his brother who was curling up in a ball and giggling to protect himself from furher attacks. "Comeon Goten, get dressed. We're going to go play OUTSIDE this morning."   
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!" Goten cried happily as he zoomed off to his room to throw on his clothes, sounding for all the world like a buffalo stampede. Gohan smiled fondly _He CAN be cute when he puts his mind to it_, and threw on his preffered excercise clothes: an orange Gi, with a blue undershirt, blue wristcuffs, and blue boots with yellow edges. He was rather fond of the outfit, and with his wild hair, he looked much like his dad. Fortunately, he really hadn't had much reason to use the fighting Gi for anything resembling, well, fighting. There'd been 3 beautiful years of peace since Cell and Bojack had been defeated, and things had gone back to "normal." Still, to keep himself in shape in case his trouble-bound planet was targeted once again, he took about an hour and trained every day, maintaining a reasonable build and keeping his Ki under control.   
  
Pre-occupied with thoughts, he nearly fell over as Goten blasted back into the room, wearing a similar outfit. "KAY! LETS GO!.....um....whaddawe playin Gohan."   
  
"Um...it's called....The Hunt for the super secret pieces of dry and easy-to-burn firewood!"   
  
"....that doesn't sound wike much fun...."   
  
Gohan's eyes lit up with pretend enthusiasm, "Oh, but it IS. I LOVE playing that game. It's my FAVORITE."   
  
"....REALLY? Well, if it's YOUR favewite, then it's MY favewite! ^_^" (A/N: The cuteness of this scene is beginning to bother me)   
  
"Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Comeon, let's go."   
  
Chichi was busy working in the kitchen as the boys came down. She sighed a bit, feeling a bit nostalgic. _They look so MUCH like their dad_ "All right you two, I want you back in exactly one-hour with as much firewood as you can get."   
  
"One hour?"   
  
"Yes, no sooner, no later. This breakfast is going to take a while."   
  
Gohan sniffed appreciatively, "Smells great. Well, see you later mom!"   
  
Goten smiled cutely, "Bye mama!....uh....what's an hour?"   
  
"An hour is 60 minutes dear, which is precisely 3600 seconds, 15 of which have just been used up. Ahhhhh...3585 seconds, beautiful, Noiseless, WORKLESS SECONDS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, fREEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDOOOOMM---um....eheh."   
  
Gohan and Goten blinked blankly in unison. Goten broke the silence, "Thirty-five hundwed bazillion seconds! BYE!"   
  
The door slammed shut, and Chichi immediately turned the stove off, rushed to the living room, and plopped in front of the couch, turning on the TV. _At last, a nice, quiet hour, all to myself. No screaming children, no food to cook, no dishes to clean. Hehe, they don't know that cooking can be finished in five minutes or less. I am SUCH a genius..._   
  


* * *

  
"Whaddo-I do again, Brother?" Goten implored.   
  
"Ok, first, you find secret dead branches off the trees or the ground. Then, your bring them here to this giant Oak tree, and I gaurd them against the EVIL Invisible Hordes that will try to take them from us."   
  
"Uh...whaddo they want with the dead branches?"   
  
"See, that's the trick, they're SECRET dead branches, required to make Mom's food."   
  
Goten gasped, "They're trying to steal the branches required to cook our food? THOSE BASTARDS!"   
  
"O.O Goten, where on EARTH did you hear THAT word?"   
  
"Uh....Trunks' daddy. TEEHEE, he funny, a car ran into the wall one day at Trunks house, and they got out and yelled at Vegeta for twaining in the road, and then he threw the car wid the people that he yelled at REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL HIGH and-!"   
  
"Yeah, that's HILARIOUS. I think I'll have a little talk with him later...."   
  
Goten looked around, "I don't see anyone, you sure that there're bad people after our secret wood?"   
  
"Um....yes there are! LOOK, there's one now!" Gohan made a quick pretend punch in midair, but accidentally lost balance on a root and fell down, hitting the tree behind him. A rather large bump formed on the back of his head, while he tried to manage a weak smile. "See...um....they're tough!"   
  
Goten was now thoroughly perplexed. Then his little eyes squinted, "Are you making-believe things to make me work?"   
  
"Me? MAKE BELIEVE? Goodness no, Goten, I'm just telling you why I'm going to be meditating here!"   
  
"Meditatering?"   
  
"No, MEDITATING. It'll look like I'm sleeping, but I'm really not. Check back in about 20 minutes ok?"   
  
"...............hmmmmmmmmm..........OK!! GOOD LUCK, DONT LETEM GETCHA!"   
  
The little boy ran off at an inhuman speed into the woods on his great quest, while Gohan closed his eyes in contentment, not seeing any invisable hordes at the moment.   
  
Nice, peaceful, quiet...serene...relaxation.   
  
Fresh breeze.   
  
Crisp smell of the pines.   
  
Gurgling of the stream.   
  
....the feeling that someone was giggling about an inch away.   
  
**"GOHAN!!!!! I BACK!"**   
  
Gohan fell over anime-style, increasing the size the large welt on his head. Goten giggled as he sat up. "Um....Goten, you haven't been gone very long."   
  
Goten held a single twig in his hand, and frowned. "You said ta check back in 20 minthingy's, right?"   
  
Gohan sighed and smiled, "It's been 20 SECONDS, Goten. MINUTES are the SECOND group of time."   
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh.....K, bye!"   
  
"Byyyyyyyeeeee." Gohan sighed and closed his eyes again, breathing in the fresh air.   
  
The crisp smell of the pines--   
  
"HEY GOHAN!"   
  
".....Yes, Goten...what now?" said Gohan impatiently, not opening his eyes.   
  
"Um....I dunno howta count to 20 minutesies."   
  
"Just count to 1200 seconds, how's that sound?"   
  
"OK!........um.......I don't think I can count that high....*sniff*....I'm not very good at this game am I, onichan. *sniff sniff* *sad puppy-dog eyes watering*"   
  
Gohan quickly jumped up. "Hey, hey, hey, come on now, don't cry, don't cry! Here, you know what, I'll come with you. That way we can count TOGETHER! We'll be a team!"   
  
Goten cheered and jumped on Gohan's back again, hugging his neck tightly. "YAAAY! LETS GO GET SOME SECRET WOOD THINGIES!"   
  
Gohan smiled despite his lost nap, and he and Goten went off in search of the wood. Not knowing that a real shadow lurked in the shadows watching with shadowy reasons, stuffed full of shadowy shadows. (Bet you've never seen a sentence with shadow used 5 times :) )   
  
A ridiculously-stupid looking furry dog-like creature in a ninja suit got out a walkie-talkie, a Pilaf-Manufactured one *Insert evil villain music*. "This is Shao reporting sir. Um, I saw some kids that looked a LOT like our man,...but I don't think they are-"   
  
A voice shrieked over the radio, **"SILENCE! SILENCE! DO YOU WANT THEM TO HEAR YOU? I demand QUIET! QQQQQUUUUIIIIEEEET!"**   
  
Shao whipsered, "S-s-sorry Emprorer Pilaf, I'll be quieter-"   
  
A scream blazed out of the radio, "**THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'D BETTER BE QUIET IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU! YOU'RE SO LOUD YOU PROBABLY GAVE THE WHOLE GAME AWAY YOU FOOL!** *cough* Now then. No sign of Goku? Now that we have a real army, we'll really be able to take over the world, no Dragonballs required. My permiciously political plan of palacy will be PERFECT!"   
  
Shao was perplexed, "What did that mean? And no Dragonballs?"   
  
Mie broke in over the radio, "Of course not Shao. Every time we tried to use the Dragonballs, the others used a scouter to discover where we were before we were really ready. This way, we can take our time AFTER the world's been conquered."   
  
"A-HEM. May **_I_** continue with my cooky cavorting?"   
  
"Um......of course sire."   
  
"Now then. Return to base while I consider my options. If Goku isn't here, and he isn't back in a few days, then the world WILL BE MINE! *insert traditional DBZ 10-minutes of laughing*"   
  
Shao blabbed happily, "Oh GOODIE GOODIE sire! WORLD DOMINATION (trademark) at last! But, uh...what about Yamcha? He got in the way the last couple times. And Mutenroshi?"   
  
"No need to worry about those fools. Neither of then could take on an entire army. Goku's the onlu one I'm worried about, he beat Piccolo Daimou. I doubt he's gotten much stronger, without other opponents to fight but still, you never know. But enough about that fool. Prepare the army to STORM THE MALL!"   
  
Shao whispered, "......um...why the mall?"   
  
"....BECAUSE I SAID SO! AND BE **QUIET!**"   
  


* * *

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD'S GREATEST HERO, HEEEEEEERRRRRCUUUUUULLLEEE SATAN, is READY for his GOURMET BREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKFFFFFFAAAAAASSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**   
  
"Oh quit yelling like a moron, Dad. It's only leftover blueberry muffins from yesterday."   
  
Satan. poofing his amazing large afro, cooed stupidly, "Helllllllllllllllooooooooo sugarpeach, how are we this morning my wittle baby."   
  
Videl Satan brushed her raven black hair away from her beautiful face and rolled her eyes, "Just PEACHY daddy. It's the cook's day off, and I have to go back to school in two days, so I'm going to be busy all day freshening up and getting some new clothes. And I'm 14 now, so I'm not a baby."   
  
Satan suddenly roared, "Are you insinuating that you think you can have a BOYFRIEND now! Don't think because you've grown a little that you can go and make out in an alley without MY permission!"   
  
Videl was perplexed, "Are you feeling all right, Dad? You work out too much last night? Where in HELL did that come from, and since WHEN have you worried about BOYS. Besides, I don't think a guy could get very close to me without getting his ass handed to him on a golden plate."   
  
Hercule suddenly looked down, "Actually, I'm feeling a bit under the weather, eheh. I'm worried about you, you're going to be a Freshman soon! Oh I've heard all sorts of nasty stories....urgh, girls KISSING boys.....but you are MY daughter and I've taught you the tricks of the trade. SO DEFEND YOURSELF! TEENAGE BOYS ARE EVIL! DON'T GIVE IN TO THEIR LITTLE GAMES!"   
  
"....weren't you a teen when you married mom? About 18, if I remember correctly?" said Videl exasperatedly.   
  
"uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh...........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAHA! THAT'S DIFFERENT! I was too IRRESISTABLE to wait very long, and she fell head over heels for me. Ah, THAT was a night to remember...."   
  
_Time to change the subject_. "um, Speaking of moves, Dad, when are you going to teach me the moves that you beat Cell with? I could use those for my Community Service Beat-The-Shit-Out-Of-Stupid-Crooks fun group."   
  
Mr. Satan, the world's STRONGEST *cough* hero, looked white for a second, then he laughed again. Videl solemnly knew that it must have been a horrible battle, he always looked somewhat scared just thinking about it. "Sweetie, you're not going to be ready for those for a long, long time. They're too deadly and dangerous for a teen, even you, to be learning. Now, *AHEM*, enough talk. Start getting ready for school, and don't even THINK about boys!"   
  
"Ok daddy." Videl smiled, "I'll only make out with boys when you're not looking, like when I go to the mall toda-."   
  
**_"VIDEL!"_**   
  
"Just joking, just joking. Jeez."   
  
Videl started tramping up the mile-long staircase to her room, sighing. As amusing as her dad could be, summer had been rather boring and laborious. She started doing community service for the police, to improve her fighting (her dad was too hard at work to do this), but none of her friends were around. The only guy that she would at school was Sharpener, and his "sexy" voice made her clench her teeth. He WAS pretty good looking, but he was such an arrogant ass that it tread on her nerves. Well, and the whole dating rumor thing didn't help all that much either. _Oh well. It'll be fun to beat the crap out of him in the School Boxing Tournament this year._   
  


* * *

  
Despite their attempts to remain focused in their hunt for firewood, both Gohan and Goten were still childishly fascinated by the various wildlife they stumbled upon. Various plants, insects, animal cubs (everyone say together "AWWWWWWWWWW"), and even bees. It wasn't until AFTER Goten had thrown a rock through the bee-hive that Gohan realized they had no firewood and five minutes to look for some.   
  
As they whisked away from the angry insects, Goten laughing the whole way, Gohan looked on the ground, picking up some stray branches. However, there were too few, and Chichi wanted at least a month's worth. Finally, he stopped and muttered, "This won't do." He went to one of the large oaks, rapped lightly on the wood, then stated, "Well, dad gave us a few years worth of firewood out of one of these. Why can't I?"   
  
Gohan gave the tree one good, solid kick, a little harder than he intended. His leg landed with an almost deafening boom, and the tree blasted away, in the direction of the house. Goten looked on awefully, then snickered, "Gohan made the twee go BOOM!"   
  
The boy only stared, horror dawning on his face. "Go....boom...God, I hope it doesn't hit the house or anything..."   
  


* * *

  
"Oh Jane....I've always wanted to do this...."   
  
"Martin...." *insert traditional crappy soap-opera music, or the DBZ Dub music*   
  
Chichi stared wide eyed at the screen. _They're finally going to kiss. After all those close calls...YES! **YES!**_   
  
The woman bounced around like a little girl. Her favorite couple were actually going to KISS. FINALLY! After all this time. And there wasn't any possible way it could be stopped now. The onscreen couples' faces moved closer and closer, their lips parted....this was it. (Bet you can't see where THIS is going.)   
  
**BOOM!**EEEERRRRRchchchchchc**_CRRRRRAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_**   
  
The TV reception died. The Flying Tree Trunk had sailed over the house, destroying the satellite, and a big chunk of the roof. Chichi simply sat there, looking first at the massive, newcoming Tree wedged behind the house, then her dead TV set.   
  
  
  
  
*snap*   
  
*crackle*   
  
*POP*   
  
**"GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**   
  
Gohan entered rather sheepishly, shuffling from boot to boot, while Goten hid for his life under the stairs. "Uh....hi mom. ..um....I kicked the tree a little too hard...uh...I didn't know you were watching THAT....ehehehheheheh.. um...don't kill me."   
  
"Huff....pufff.....hufff.....PUFF....GASP! YOUNG MAN! That is the THIRD time this week you've done something to my hosue. First, your little 'sparring' session with Goten blazed a nice hole in my bedroom. Then there was the whole baby-shampoo incident. And now a flying tree destroys my Roof and TV RECEPTION! I'VE HAD IT!"   
  
Gohan went down on all fours, "PLEASE MOM! NO! Don't make me watch the marriage videos AGAIN! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAASSSSEEEE!!!"   
  
Chichi grinned maniacally. "Oh no Gohan. We're going to go do something much, MUCH more painful."   
  
The poor boy wimpered.   
  
"You're going to go shopping and pick out some new clothes with me. For school. In one Hour."   
  
"S--s-shopping"   
  
"Shopping."   
  
"S-SCHOOL?"   
  
"School." *dum dum DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!*   
  
  
_To be continued......_

* * *

  
  
Stay tuned for part 2, where Gohan goes shopping, Pilaf begins to initiate the PERFECT PLAN, and school edges ever closer. And Videl hasn't even STARTED thinking about Gohan yet. Well, yes, it was cute and fluff, the "awwww, goten's ADORABLE isn't he" chapter, and longer than I usually like to start out, but hey, I had to introduce everything SOMEHOW. Don't worry, things'll get interestin real soon. As in, NEXT CHAPTER! 


	2. The Mall Disaster, or, Non-Traditional R...

SLAM!   
  
Videl stomped her way across the football field that was the mansion Front North Gardens, muttering dark and unprintable words at her worrisome and EXTREMELY annoying lump of a father. Why the HELL did she HAVE to go with this butler, and why on EARTH was he so worried about her meeting with boys? It seemed like that morning he had just woken up and decided he was going to be the most annoying man alive, if he already wasn't before. It was probably when her dad suggested solitary confinement and home-schooling that she decided to go shopping. But LORD KNOWS she couldn't live without a stupid aid.   
  
The short, pompous little butler, who was incidentally and for reasons unknown called Percy, waited at her car. "Good morning madame! I'm extremely honored to be..to be..to be.."   
  
Videl stared levelly at him as his meek voice trailed off into nothingness, giving him a thin eyed Bother-Me-and-DIE-SCREAMING look that would've made Vegeta wilt like a dead weed.   
  
Videl harumphed and delicately placed herself at the driver's seat. "You, Percy, will sit in the back, and remain in the car when we get to the mall."   
  
"But madame-"   
  
"QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"   
  
"But Videl, you're Hercule Satan's daughter, someone might try to kidnap you and-!" (A/M: Yes, I'm calling him Hercule Satan, mostly because Mr. Satan doesn't have a first name, and Hercule doesn't have a last. So :P)   
  
She looked at him pityingly like he was the stupidest man alive, "Percy, I've been fighting since I was 3, I won the Junior Championship in a landslide at the age of 11, and I fight for the police every SINGLE DAY. How in hell do you think YOU could help me if there was something **I** couldn't handle."   
  
"I'm much tougher than I look, missy!"   
  
Videl sighed, shoved Percy into the back, and gunned the engines. Yes, she WAS in a bad mood, and poor Percy was destined to take the brunt of her wrath, at least until she was strong enough to fight her Dad. He wouldn't even let her see him train anymore. The moves he was capable of were dangerous and powerful, she knew, but why wouldn't he let her at least SPAR with him?   
  
Percy screamed and sobbed in the back as she flew recklessly in the helicopter. Videl smiled. _Yeah, I really am spoiled, but DAMN is it fun._   
  


* * *

  
Chichi wasn't in a very good mood either.   
  
While Gohan went off on one of his training sessions, which were a COMPLETE waste of time, she had discovered that specific uniforms were required at this school, so her planned torture was completely pointless. And she couldn't admit to being wrong, or else the punishment wouldn't work at all! And she thought he'd look so CUTE in a little superman costume.   
  
Well, she could scare him, at lest. She'd drag him along on all of her chores, make her search for new tiles and everything. That'd do almost as well. Then she stopped, _Now why on earth am I so determined to punish him? Lord, I feel like my entire personality's been changed for some sick divinity's humor value. Eh, oh well. _   
  
Anyone else would've been alarmed at the sudden lightning bolt which blasted to the earth a hundred or so feet away, but she continued humming songs and cleaning the morning dishes, preparing evil plans for her little boys. "Bother the noise, I wish he'd turn it down a bit."   
  


* * *

  
Gohan's ki crackled around him as he meditated, sweat trickling down from his forehead. Though not in SSJ form, lightning still flashed about him. Physical training was always important, but improving his Ki control was a must. He improved more off of this than anything else. He, like his dad and Vegeta, had a near limitless store of energy inside of him, and even at SSJ2 he hadn't touched half of it. No longer needing anger to control his ki, he practiced hard every day to improve. Although his human side didn't enjoy fighting, the inbred Saiyajin insticts occasionally got the better of him, and he figured that eventually there'd be trouble again.   
  
Goten lay there, watching with half-interest. Of course, MOST children would've screamed and ran for the hills at the electricity, but the stray bolts didn't hurt him too much, they kinda tickled. "Bwutha, you gonna sit here all day long? This is so boring." Another stray bolt blasted a tree into oblivion. He started giggling "Anotha Twee go BOOM! HEEEHEEE, you in TWOUBLE!"   
  
Gohan kept meditating, but said through his teeth, "Heh, don't be so cocky, sport, she's finding some new Bunny PJs for you."   
  
Goten sat up wide-eyed, "WHAT? NO! TRUNKS'll FUN ME INTO THE FLOOR IF HE SEES ME! Don't let mama do it!"   
  
The older boy suddenly stood up, and yelled loudly. The ki crackling around him started shining golden yellow, and his hair lifted and blazed triumphantly. Gohan grunted with exertion as his body adjusted to the new strength, then he let the aura die down, keeping his hair light blonde.   
  
Then he turned and winked roguishly at Goten, turqouise eyes shining merrily. "Heh, no one'll recognize ME, and you can't dye super saiyajin hair."   
  
Goten pouted, "No fair! Why can older peoples change their hairs and not me! I wanna go supa-sanjinininy too!"   
  
Gohan laughed, and picked up Goten, putting him on his shoulder, "Ok, just get fairly close to death and have an extreme burst of earth-shattering anger like Dad and I, and you'll be blonde in no time!"   
  
"That's all? YAAAAY!"   
  
The older boy sighed exasperatedly, "No no, Goten, it's HARD. I personally gaurantee you'll not want to try it yet."   
  
Goten started pouting again, "Not fair...."   
  
Chichi stomped out of the house with her shopping bags, and gave a death glare at Gohan. "WHAT have I told you about changing young man but wait no nevermind stay blonde but remember break just one JUST ONE thing at the mall and you'll be wearing a zoot suit to school so don't mess with me you hear me I'll be in the car now go get changed into some normal clothes!" *SLAM*   
  
The two boys stood, blinking blankly, Goten's mouth still open in his half-finished sentence.   


* * *

  
  
*insert Lord Farquad theme music* EMPORER Pilaf, despite nearly twenty years of planning and scheming, had not changed at all, nor had his two 'advisors', Shao and Mai. The little blue midgit shuffled across the hall to meet with Mai, briefing his small batallion of troops for the Mall Rush. He would prove his supremacy over those fools once and for all.   
  
He opened the door. Today was the day that he'd reveal himself. TODAY, he would be VICTORI-   
  
"W-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" *THUD*   
  
Mai, a still-beautiful raven-haired spy, turned her head, "Oh, watch the first step sire, it's a bit steep for you."   
  
Pilaf, for once, kept his temper, and dusted himself off. "Very well, where're the forces."   
  
"Right here sire." She opened the hanger door, *insert dramatic music*, and light shone in on the large garage.   
  
100 soldiers, all sons of the survivors of the Red Ribbon Army, stood at attention. Pilaf smiled evilly, he had gained some experience with these types. They'd go ape even at the mention of money, and raiding the mall would be a brilliant way of gainging their loyalty. His entire army could rival the King's, but he did not want to risk such an attack...yet.   
  
The commander of the division was an entirely different matter. He was encased in one of several ultra-powerful new machines, each of which possed the power to destroy cities. It had nearly the power of the now-dead Piccolo Daimou. That was good. At least that's what Mai told him, anyway.   
  
"Good Day, my friends. Time to begin the mass invasion of introversy and interest! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LET THE GAMES BEGIN, GOKU! LET THE GAMES BEEEGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!"   
  
His laughter echoed around the hall, then there was silence, with the exception of an unseen soldier snickering.   
  
Reddening slightly, Pilaf stomped imperiously. "Mai, release them, and make sure the commanding robot destroys as much as possible after the mall has been looted. Tell Shao to hurry up and get back to headquarters, or he'll be in, ahem, trouble. Now then, LET THE GAMES BEGGGIIIIINNNN!!!!!" With that, he swished out, stumbling a little in his cape.   
  
Mai tried hard not to laugh, "*snick snick* Y-y-y-yes *snick* s-sire."   
  


* * *

  
Videl strolled down the mall, ignoring the people who whispered excitedly around her.   
  
"Look, it's Hercule's daughter!"   
  
"Oh my god, it's Videl. In a SHOPPING MALL"   
  
"Damn she's ho-*MMMPH*"   
  
"Shhh, are you an idiot? She'll kick your ass if she hears that!"   
  
Hell, she was used to it, and at least that stupid butler wasn't following her around. Brushing her hair airily, she made her way into the clothes store, to look for her school uniform.   
  
The young cashier pointed to a special section, while simultaneously trying to hit on her. Casually, she backhanded him over a table and went down the aisle to pick up the package. Behind her, she heard some noisy family enter the store.   
  
"Hee-hee, dey'll make you wear things wike bow ties, and gween hats, and-"   
  
"Goten, will you please stop mocking me! It's bad enough as it is!"   
  
"Hey, watch your mouth and don't swear, mister!"   
  
"But I didn't swe-"   
  
"**_DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!_** I'm going to go get your things, keep an eye on Goten, will you?"   
  
"You mean we're NOT getting me new clothes?"   
  
"No. Goten, go torture your brother."   
  
"MOM, n-!"   
  
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"   
  
"Goten, NO! Oh lord..."   
  
Videl sighed and continued. _Wish I had a little brother or something. This gets boring after a while._ She stopped at the compartment and opened the box.   
  
_Knowing my luck, it'll be a tight white shirt and a short, revaling black skirt that'll make me look unbelievably hot._   
  
Her uniform turned out to be a tight white shirt and a short revealing black skirt, that made her look unbelievably hot. (Go figure) She muttered and began to put it on in a dressing room. She strapped the black skirt tightly on her thin waste, and, after absently pulling on her new bra, she picked up the white shirt.   
  
Then the door to her dressing room slammed inward, and a little boy with wild black hair zoomed in at an inhunman speed, (bet you can't geuss whom it is) and shut it again, giggling, not even noticing her....for a second.   
  
"Tee-hee, he'll never find widdle me in...in...in here...uh oh..." Goten's eyes widened to little dinner plates, now seeing Videl, still half-changed, who was just staring in disbelief. "Um....er....hi nice lady...um...sowwy I'm playing with my bwother....I done a boo-boo...."   
  
Videl was about to respond when the door slammed open again, and a boy with shocking blond hair and green eyes angrily stormed in. Not registering the shocked girl's pressence, he stared down at his little brother. Goten made a sound like a mouse being tread on, he'd really gotten them into trouble. "Goten, HOW many times have I told you not to go running through the stores, you're disturbing all these people-"   
  
"Um, bwuth-"   
  
"Goten, just listen! If you keep acting up like this, mom's going to kill us. And I'm not REALLY in the mood for more punishments, are you? We CAN play other games besides TAG."   
  
"Onichan-"   
  
"Goten, please! Now, here're the new rules for today-"   
  
"GOHAN!" Goten was shaking like every little child's worst nightmares were staring at him.   
  
"WHAT?"   
  
"Um, there's someone else in the woom..."   
  
"There is-?" Gohan did a perfect imitation of his brother, except his pupils became tiny dots, and his cheeks reddened. The surprise finished registering in Videl's brain, and a look that nightmares are made of was forming on her face. Gohan starting laughing nervously, like a mouse facing the world's largest cat. "E-eheh...um, sorry...uh...comeon Goten."   
  
_What the hell is going on! Jesus, who do they think they are, I don't think I've ever seen hair like that. Wow, he has a nice face too, and...what the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. ** A FRIGGEN BOY JUST WALTZED INTO MY DRESSING ROOM!**_   
  
Before Gohan could leave, she grabbed the scruff of his neck and dragged his face up to hers. "Who the HELL do you think you are, just storming your way in here while I'm CHANGING! There's a REASON the door is closed!" She seemed to forget that Goten had broken in, and not Gohan.   
  
Gohan reddened further, and didn't dare blink against her venemous stare. "Um...Gomen...uh...."   
  
"That does it!" She was in a horrible mood now, and backhanded him in the face. "OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"   
  
Gohan blinked as she dropped him and rubbed her hand, glaring daggers at him, eyes tearing. _His face is like a goddamn rock._ "You're asking for it buddy, let's go!"   
  
The boy backed away, and Goten started contemplating sneaking out. "I-I'm sorry miss-"   
  
"Videl Satan! I'm gonna kick your ass for this!" Gohan's eyes widened slightly, "Miss Satan? You mean that...guy had a daughter?"   
  
Videl stared, "You've NEVER heard of me? Well, you'll learn soon enough, bucko."   
  
Gohan frowned at her, and she suddenly didn't seem very sure of herself. "Hey, look, I'm SORRY that my brother rushed in here, and I'm SORRY that I came in here without checking, but YOU slapped me, so I can't control that!"   
  
The girl gasped, how could ANYONE talk to her like that? Lord, she'd been waited hand and foot since the age of eight, and now this strange boy just TALKED BACK to her. Before she could start kick the insulting boy's ass, however, the wall inside her dressing room suddenly collapsed, opening back up to the main hall.   
  
Videl instictively screamed, "WHAT, DOES EVERYONE WANT TO COME IN HERE! Hello world, I'm **_CHANGING_**!   
  
But then she shut up. Not 2 stores down, a small army of 100 was tearing EVERYTHING to pieces, while looting and stealing everything in sight. Goten ran up to Gohan, "Bwutha, lemme go ask mom if we can stop them, ok?"   
  
Gohan nodded absently, "Ok. Damned if we don't have bad luck following us EVERYWHERE."   
  
Goten ran off, and Videl blinked, "Um, whoever you are, there're 100 people with GUNS marching through the mall. What the hell are you going to do, throw clothes at them? Leave this to me, they're splitting up."   
  
Gohan looked concerned, and said, "You can't fight all 100 by yourself! Can I at least help?"   
  
Videl laughed pompously. "HA! You, help ME? Lord, you remind me of my butler, Percy." She slipped on her shirt. "Well, don't expect help from me if you get hurt."   
  
Without another word, she sprinted off to the store with the most soldiers, Victoria's Secret.   
  
Gohan was left standing there, knowing he had just recieved the world's biggest cold shoulder, and was happy that he was in SSJ form. Knowing his luck, she probably went to his school.   
  
Goten came back, laughing, "Mommy said it was all right. Can I go pway with the sojers?"   
  
The older boy pat him on the head, "Sure. Just don't hit them too hard, they're not strong like you and I. Oh, and keep an eye on that girl for me, ok?"   
  
"Kay!" Goten sped off on his tiny little legs to the Victoria's Secret store. Gohan took off towards the Applebees.   
  


* * *

  
Chichi absently flattened a short, blonde soldier into the floor while she picked out a new bra for Goku's next night off from the afterlife. _ Hmmm, the transparent one should do quite nicely._ She tutted at the sight of a 14-year old girl, who was trying way too hard to beat three guys at once. She casually walked over, idly watching the spectacle.   
  
Videl yelled, and blasted a soldier in the face with a hard roundhouse kick, sending him crashing through the *untouched* robe section. She elbowed the second in the stomach, and he fell to his knees. The third one raised a pistol in panic, and Videl turned too late. (SUSPENSE)   
  
Chichi chopped him on the back of the neck, and he collapsed to the ground like a card house in a hurricane, "Good job dear, but you're too flashy and extravogent. You also need to watch your back, this guy would've hurt you badly, I must say." Chichi hummed and continued walking, while Videl stared wide-eyed. _Did I wake up on a different planet this morning or what?_ The older woman called back, "I think the other soldiers are in the thong section, and there're some by Applebees. Lord, horrid place too...."   
  
Videl put the thoughts and the strange lady out of her mind, too stressed to deal with them, and ran down through the thong section. She gasped when she reached the cul de sac, there was that little boy from the dressing room. What on EARTH.....   
  
She saw the two men behind Goten, and cried out, "HEY, look out kid, they're right behind you!"   
  
She started running to save him, but Goten giggled, "Finally! I've been wooking everywhere for the feet sojers!" He picked up an extremely surprised GI by the leg and threw him into the other one like a baseball bat. They contacted with a sickening crunch, and crumpled in a broken heap. Goten frowned, "That wasn't fun. I better be more careful with them feet peoples." He took a helmet, which was about 12 times too large for him, and ran off. "I'm gonna go join onichan at the restaunt. Bye gwumpy lady!"   
  
Goten whisked off, tripping and stumbling with the helmet over his eyes.   
  
Videl stood in the exact same position for about 5 more minutes, trying to figure out what was strange about the little boy. Besides the fact that he had just thrown a fully grown man into another like a sack of beans, she noticed that he had distinctive facial traits of that strange woman, and, now that she thought about it, the blonde boy did too. She narrowed her eyes determinedly, she was going to figure out who these people were.   
  
The young girl rushed off to the restuarant, not willing to let all the strange stuff get to her yet. She kicked a stray muscleman in the face as she ran. _And who the hell ARE these stupid soldiers anyway._   
  


* * *

  
Gohan sighed and leaned back on his heels, while the small group advanced on him. The leader snickered, "Wow, this one sure looks tough. Hey, nice hair kid, you live in the jungle or what?"   
  
_Wow, another "Foolish weak person who doesn't know who he's dealing with" guy. How many of these people are there, anyway?_ "Actually, I do..."   
  
They all rushed him, and practically simultaneously all flew backwards through the booths and under the tables, twitching. Gohan was in the same relaxed position, and calmly strolled out to the bar. Then he heard a very familiar roar of anger.   
  
"Woman, what the HELL is going on?! I'm honestly impressed if this is what you go through every time you go shopping! *spit spit* And this Applebees steak is about as tasty as charcol!"   
  
"Vegeta, quit complaining about the damn food-oh shit, another goon!"   
  
A small explosion was heard in the hallway, and Gohan groaned. Vegeta had a tendency to overdo things. He rushed out to meet them.   
  
Vegeta snorted, "Look, it's mini-kakarot. Do you really need to be a super saiyajin to deal with these fools, boy?"   
  
Gohan snorted right back, "Yeah right, SIRE." He turned to Bulma, who was standing there bad-temperedly, "No, I ORIGINALLY came here to get clothes for school, and then I ran into this mob. My mom's down in one of the stores, and I don't know WHERE the hell Goten is-"   
  
Videl strode up imperiously, "HEY! You, did you see what you're-"   
  
Vegeta turned and fired a small blast right over Videl's shoulder, frying a gaurd that was sneaking up on her. She froze again, not knowing what the hell just happened. Vegeta snorted, "Ones that don't watch their backs in battle die quickly. Hey boy, who the hell's the little whelp over there?"   
  
_**LITTLE WHELP?**_ Videl reared up to roar, then saw Bulma, who was fumbling with some capsules. "Y-you're Vegeta Briefs? AND YOUR BULMA?" Bulma absently nodded, still trying to find a gun to defend herself with. Videl glared at Gohan again, "How the hell do you know the Briefs!"   
  
Gohan blinked, "Bulma, I didn't know you were THAT famous! Even Videl Satan's impressed."   
  
Vegeta muttered, "Oh wow, what an HONOR. To be greeted by the whelp of that moron at the tournament. That little freak show of his and his students' was possibly the most pathetic thing I'd ever see-"   
  
Videl couldn't take it anymore. **"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MY DAD IS THE WORLD CHAMPION! HE DEFEATED CELL!"**   
  
Vegeta laughed and began to retaliate, and probably tell her who REALLY saved the earth, when Gohan stepped in. "Hey, come on, come on! Enough of this." The grounds started shaking. Videl took no heed, and tried to launch herself at Vegeta. Gohan locked her by the arms, and saved her from instantaneous death. She struggled violently against him. "HOW DARE YOU, LET ME GO YOU ASS, I'M DEFENDING MY FAMILY HONOR!"   
  
Vegeta snickered, "WHAT hon-"   
  
A tall, muscular soldier with black hair interrupted him. He held Goten at gunpoint, the boy pretending to be napping, but giggling in his 'sleep'.   
  
"Make one move and I'll shoot the kid!"   
  
Gohan sighed, "Goten, just belt him, will you? We need to finish this and go home. Lord, what a day.."   
  
Videl stopped struggling and stared disbelievingly at the carelessness in his voice. "Your brother's-"   
  
"Fine, but he doesn't know when to quit."   
  
Goten stuck his tongue out, "Bleeeeh." The gaurd fired ruthlessly in anger, and the bullet smacked Goten in the head. Videl screamed, but the little boy just rubbed his head, a tear welling in his eye. "*sniff* that hurt! *sniff*"   
  
He bad-temperedly kicked the would-be captor HARD in the shin and flew up to cry on the ceiling fan 40 feet above the ground. As the soldier flew off into the horizon, Gohan flew up as well, unconciously dragging a still-screaming Videl by an arm. "Hey, come on now, lemme see the bruise. There there, it's ok Goten, it's only a little one, it'll heal in a few minutes."   
  
Videl suddenly realized that she was floating in midair, and started screaming to be put down, though she was ignored.   
  
Goten laughed a little and sniffed, "Geuss I should be more careful when I pway, huh onichan."   
  
Gohan playfully patted him on the head, "It's ok-"   
  
Videl angrily crawled her way up to his neck, "PUT ME DOWN YOU, YOU....how on EARTH can you fly? T-this isn't possible! What kind of trick are you playing!"   
  
Gohan stammered a bit, mentally kicking himself for being so careless, "U-um, it's not a trick....uh...how to explain...."   
  
"Your toddler brother gets SHOT, but only gets a small BRUISE, we're FLOATING in midair, and that neandrathal down there can fire BEAMS out of his hands! You'd BETTER start explaining if you know what's good for you!"   
  
"U-um"   
  
"...could you start with how you can fly?..."   
  
Color rose in the boy's cheeks again, she was hardly an inch from his face, and for the first time that day, she was not yelling or screaming. Her face suddenly seemed soft and questioning, not the picture of anger and grumpiness. Her dark violet-blue eyes probed into his, as he sheepishly tried to stammer an explanation that would make sense. "Um...w-w-well..."   
  
CRASH!   
  
A massively huge steel robot pounded through the mall, stopping to stare menacingly at the people below. Inside was the commander of the soldiers, all 3 of them that were still conscious. "You will all die now. By the decree of Emporer Pilaf, this South-City Superstore of Supremacy is under OUR control."   
  
Everyone blinked at the stupid looking machine, and Vegeta started to laugh. "You HAVE GOT to be kidding me. Do you honestly think that using that tin-can to capture a mall will help conquer this world!"   
  
"Um...yes."   
  
_Moron_. Vegeta opened his mouth to insult the robot to rust, but Bulma suddenly gasped. "Emporer PILAF? THAT LITTLE MIDGET IS STILL ALIVE?"   
  
The commander boomed, "Of course! Our magnificent emporer is INVINCIBLE! Let me demonstrate the power of this machine."   
  
With that, one of the arms pointed straight at the Applebees, and fired, burning the store down with intense heat. Everything except for the food, which was too hard and tasteless to be destroyed, burned to the dirt. (A/N: sorry, but I went there for a post-thanksgiving dinner, and was served a burnt, rock-hard, awful steak, so I'm rather ticked as I write this :P)   
  
Vegeta hugged his wife in joy, and Goten bounced around happily. "CWAPPLEBEES IS GONE!"   
  
*insert anime sweatdrop* The commander stood confused, then pointed straight up at Gohan and Videl, the second of which was paralyzed in fright. "YOU ALL THINK THIS IS FUNNY! WELL, EAT THIS!"   
  
Gohan didn't look the least bit concerned until Bulma suddenly cried out, "Hey, you're not alone up there, she's vulnerable!"   
  
Videl screamed, "What, are you immune to lazers too!" As if on cue, the commander fired the beam, which sped up to engulf the two. The girl tightened her hold around Gohan's neck and shut her eyes tight, preparing herself for the afterlife and wimpered. _Least I'll die in a boy's arms. Well, goodbye Father, I loved you on the inside, even if you were a big pain in the ass. I'll be seeing mother soon. Goodbye everyone at school, remember me well. Goodbye Percy....um......goodbye ant farm..._   
  
Gohan contemptously flicked the laser back at the machine, destroying it.   
  
He and Goten landed swiftly, noting that almost no one was hurt besides the soldiers, miraculously, they had ALL been evacuated in time. Hell, he could see the parachutes.   
  
Vegeta absently picked up a ring that had rolled over from the burning jewelery store. "Well, I found that blasted present you wanted me to get you. Here, happy anniversary."   
  
"Vegeta, part of the CHARM of a present is to BUY it with MONEY, and PICK it CAREFULLY"   
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN! YOU WANTED A RING, DIDN'T YOU?"   
  
Bulma stormed off, "That does it. You can just fly home alone, I'm going to go to a restuarant with some clients."   
  
The still-beautiful woman stalked off angrily, and Vegeta sat there with an openmouthed expression of confusion. "B-But I-BUT!" Then he whirled to face Gohan. "I swear, if Kakarot EVER hears of this, I'm holding you responsible, boy."   
  
Gohan tried very, very hard not to laugh, "Hahokay v-snick-vegeeheeta."   
  
Vegeta snorted, "You're lucky I'm married. *Smirks* Your little friend there seems to be rather attatched to you too, or I'd blast you for sure." Gohan's face paled as Vegeta smirked, he had forgotten about the girl wrapped around his neck, light as she was.   
  
"Uh....Videl?"   
  
"And snuffles, goodbye snuffles, you were a nice cat-"   
  
"VIDEL! Uh, it's over, and my mom's gonna be here any minute, and-"   
  
Videl blinked, "This is heaven? It looks like a mall..."   
  
"No, it's not heaven, you're still alive, uh...." Gohan was sweating now, but didn't exactly try to pry her arms off.   
  
Videl suddenly realized what she was doing, and bounced away. "PERVERT! First you break into my dressing room, then you nearly get me killed, and now you start hitting on me! How DARE you!"   
  
Gohan waved his hands, "But Videl, I just-!"   
  
Vegeta just roared with laughter in the background, "YOU!? Break into a girl's dressing room!? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Lord boy, I didn't know you had it in you! Kakarot'd be so proud! *laugh*"   
  
Chichi came strolling out of nowhere, and picked up Goten. "It's nice how cheap everything is when the cashiers run away. Oh, you're that little girl that was fighting those big people earlier, huh? Gohan, don't you be rude to her, why is she so angry!"   
  
Gohan gave up, "I'm going home mom, I need to finish studying. Lord..." He took off REAL quickly, and blazed into the horizon with a flash.   
  
Chichi growled, "ooooh, that boy is so frustrating. Oh well, come along Goten."   
  
Goten pouted more, "Can I fly with onichan?"   
  
"No, not today. I'm going to have a little talk with my DEAR son when I get home. Come along now!"   
  
"But I want some candy!" Chichi dragged her boy into the hover-car and flew off. Vegeta looked around grumpily, and then took off after his wife to see if he could figure out what the hell she wanted.   
  
Thus Videl was left standing there, as the police began to arrive (a tad late). The girl ignored all the questions calmly and serenely, merely stating that the threat had been taken care of, though not by her. She pleasantly flew back to her house, Percy still wimpering in the back-seat. Upon arrival at the mansion, she patted Percy on the head, gave him some gum, and went to see her father.   
  
Of course, he hadn't a clue what happened. "Hello my sugarplum fairy, how was your day?"   
  
"Oh, your sugarplum fairy is just DANDY father. Aside from being semi-publicly exposed, fighting a small army of fighters at Applebees, nearly getting killed, and meeting 3 strange people that can fly, I'm just great!" Videl smiled.   
  
"That's nice dear. Now go finish your homework....you didn't make out with any BOYS did you?"   
  
But Videl had already taken off pleasantly. She idled up to her room, whistling under her breath, shut the solid oak door, and sat complacently on her bed.   
  
Then her eye-twitched.   
  
As did the corner of her mouth.   
  


* * *

  
**_"WHAT THE FLYING F*** HAPPENED TODAY!!!!!!!!!"_**   
  
  
_To be continued....._   
  


* * *

  
Well, no, not exactly the most ROMANTIC meeting between the two, but hey, what do you expect from me? Next Chapter, Pilaf goes beserk, and Gohan and Videl start their first day of school. Boy, I Wonder If Videl Will Figure Out Who The Mysterious Blonde Boy Was. *cough* Ja ne! :) 


	3. The First School Day, or, Cliche Chapter

Videl drew in a wonderous breath at the beauty around her..   
  
It was....well...breathtaking. Miles and miles of pure, untouched wilderness surrounded her like a grand, intricately designed carpet. A quiet river oozed down the nearby mountain, where the sun had begun to set in pure splendor. Pink, orange, and red fire blazed in the sky, mixing with the wilderness to create a masterpiece of nature. It was the sight, however, of a bird flying under her that made her realize she was dreaming. She tried not to think about it too much, the dream was too nice to end yet.   
  
Practically having no control over her thoughts or body, she was not in the least confused at the pair of warm, powerful arms wrapped protectively around her waist, blue cuffs on their wrists. She tried to turn her head once to see who was holding her up, but couldn't. Oh well, might as well enjoy it. She snuggled a little closer to the unseen stranger behind her and tried to talk, but it was like someone had stolen her voice. Some sort of outer sense was screaming at her that this was a very strange dream, but she didn't particularly care.   
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" The shy voice sounded familiar, but yet she could not consciously remember who it was. She only murmurred a bit and laid her head back on the stranger's chest. This is what open flight must be like, what it must be like to be a bird. And it WAS beautiful.   
  
The stranger's chin rested on her head, but she didn't want to look up. Knowing dreams, it'd probably be something bizzare, she though. "This is nature's freedom and beauty. Pretty amazing from up here, huh?"   
  
Videl looked out at the gorgeous site, and silently hoped the dream would never end.   
  
"But...well...none of this can match the...the perfection...of..of your face, and especially your eyes..."   
  
Now she REALLY hoped the dream would never end.   
  
She smiled happily and leaned back, stroking the arn on her chest. A smooth cheek came to rest against her head, and she heard a shy, contented sigh above her. And still, she didn't look, afraid of ruining the atmosphere of the dream. The raven-haired girl drew in a breath as his lips softly touched the top of her head...   
  
**_"VIDEL!!!!"_**   
  


* * *

  
Videl gasped and sat up in her bed. Then she plopped back down, not even looking at her father. "Dad, by my watch, it's.. 4 AM. Why the HELL did you just wake me up!"   
  
"I JUST HEARD ABOUT THAT BOY AT THE MALL FROM PERCY! THE BLONDE ONE! HE, "helped you out," HUH? WHAT'VE I TOLD YOU-?"   
  
"Dad."   
  
"I SENT OUT SEARCH PAPERS FOR HIM! OH HE'LL PAY FOR THIS!"   
  
"DAD."   
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME? ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT BOY-?"   
  
Videl screamed at the top of her lungs, **_"I MET A GUY WITH BLONDE HAIR WHO HELPED ME FIGHT SOME PEOPLE! I did NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT BOY!!_** *huff puff* It's 4:00 in the morning. Now, let me GO **BACK TO _SLEEP!!!_**"   
  
For once, the big man was stunned into silence, and slipped out, shaking. Videl snorted angrily and plopped her face back on the pillow. _Great, now I'm too awake to fall asleep._ She felt like crying, it had been SUCH a good dream! Oh god, the scenery, the freedom flight, and the stranger. Who had told her that she was so beautiful.   
  
But who was the guy cuddling her supposed to be? (BET YOU'LL NEVER GEUSS!) Was it just a figment of her imagination? No, it was too real to be that. But she didn't really see herself as the kind of girl that sighed and moped over boys; she'd kill herself first. Most of the details, as characteristic of dreams, were beginning to elude her memory. And she couldn't sleep. She sighed, gave up, and got out of bed to try and read.   
  
Videl flipped through her summer reading, but her mind wandered off to the mall incident from two days ago. The police had gathered little to no information on the attackers, and her father wasn't helping at all. All the strange stuff that had happened that day! And the people she met! A strange mother that was giving her fighting tips, Bulma Briefs and her husband that could shoot fire out of his hands, that little three-year old Goten that threw men around like garbage, and that blonde boy with the turqouise eyes.   
  
She suddenly realized that she had never asked nor heard what that boy's name was. She kind of wanted to learn more about the guy, and especially learn how in hell he was able to fly. Even in that mall, the freedom of leaving the ground was unbelievable, and it was amazing how neither he nor his brother seemed to notice its beauty. And he wasn't too bad looking either, now that she thought about it...   
  
Videl suddenly slammed the book down on the floor. What the HELL was she thinking? The boy had broken into her dressing room, ruined her unbreakable reputation of dignity, and nearly killed her! It was ALL HIS FAULT! But that's not right, logic told her he wasn't responsible for anything. But he HAD to be! IT WAS A BOY! ...so what?   
  
She sighed and went back to bed, ignoring the two bickering sides of her mind. Maybe she'd figure it out someday, and she'd resign herself to beating him up. As for now, she was going to try and get back into her dream, and fly again.   
  


* * *

  
Goten bounced around the kitchen room following a cricket while Chichi made a hot breakfast of pancakes drenched in thick, rich syrup and creamy butter. About 100 of those thick ones would do for a light breakfast.   
  
Gohan came in in his school uniform, a black, button-down shirt with tan pants. He was half-awake, but had a content little smile on his face. He kissed his mom on the cheek, and ruffled Goten's hair. (Everybody say, AWWWWWWWWW)   
  
Chichi smiled, "Well, you're in a good mood this morning! Ready for school, huh?"   
  
Gohan nodded absently, "Yeah, but I also had a really nice dream."   
  
His mom smiled back, "What did you dream about?"   
  
He sighed dreamily (I'm so punny), "It was the biggest feast I had ever seen. All my favorite foods: Pasta, Fruit, Chicken, even Giant Barbequed Ribs! Mmmm, and those delicious mashed potatoes with gravy. Oh mom, you have no idea.." (HA HA! THOUGHT I'D BE SAPPY AND MELOROMANTIC, DIDN'T YOU!? HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SUCKERS!)   
  
Chichi was redfaced from silent laughter, "You boys are all the same. No pretty girls in your dreams, yet?"   
  
Gohan went red, "MOM!"   
  
Goten giggled, "Yeah, wike dat gwumpy wady at the mall?"   
  
Racocious laughter was the result, "RIGHT. If I ever dreamed about her, she'd probably find out about it and murder me in my sleep!"   
  
"Hey, that's not nice to say about anyone! She was very pretty, I'll mind you!" Chichi chided.   
  
Gohan sat down and shrugged while Goten snickered. The older boy sighed and put his hands behind his head "Yeah, she was pretty, very pretty....for the three or four total seconds she wasn't screaming or yelling at me, hehe. Wonder if that's how otousan felt? Speaking of which, I could've sworn I heard his voice in you bedroom last night, making strange-"   
  
Chichi humphed, very red-faced, and plopped the mountain of pancakes in front of them. "Come on now, hurry, you're going to be late!"   
  


* * *

  
Completely opposite was the morning of Shao and Mai.   
  
"WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED TO MY FIGHTERS! YOU IDIOTS! **YOU FOOLS! _YOU PATHETIC MORONS!!!!_**"   
  
Shao squeaked nervously, "Um, aparently, they were all wiped out by some fighters or something-"   
  
Pilaf pouted bad temperedly, almost looking cute. "Blast it all, I KNOW Goku isn't stronger than that machine. I would've seen him by now anyway...."   
  
Mai sighed, "Whoever it was, they didn't show themselves for very long. The only witness that hadn't been *Evacuated by Parachutes* was Videl Satan, daughter of the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai winner."   
  
The little dwarf spat, "It wasn't her. Pretty girls don't make good fighters. *Mai's eyes narrow but she remains silent* But why haven't we seen any signs of those fools that used to bug us so much?"   
  
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a broken, severely mangled soldier came crawling through. His face was a little battered, kind of like if it had been placed on a hot red anvil and hit with a sledgehammer the size of a small truck. He was gagged by a wonder-bra, and trailled several broken hangers. "T-the horror, the HORROR!"   
  
Pilaf simply sat there, boggle-eyed, not knowing whether to laugh uproarously or recoil in horror.   
  
"T-these little kids. B-bud-ies telling me they'll get the girl...hostage...friend gets walloped by some w-woman. Sneak up on k-kid. Couldn't be 2 ff-feet tall. Then pain. PAIN! PAAAIIIINNNN!!!"   
  
Then he fainted. Shao blinked, "Well that was dramatic."   
  
Pilaf shrugged, "Huh, whatever. Anyway, I think we may need to bring the dragonballs into play after all..."   
  


* * *

  
Videl stretched her sore back muscles and shouldered her backpack. She had finally started the first day of Freshman Year at High School. At Blue Star High School, the best in the area. (HA! CLEVER! See, it's BLUE STAR not ORANGE STAR. GET IT? I FUUNYZ!)   
  
Eliza would be there, as well as Sharperner, but most of her classmates were fairly new. The excited whispering about her around her didn't bother her in the least, and she walked to her pale green locker, guiltily enjoying the attention. Eliza shouted out a welcome from across the hall, and Sharperner 'accidentally' bumped into her. She could never really find it in herself to beat him up, he wasn't quite that bad, but he really tried her patience sometimes. Probably be perfect for Eliza though.   
  
Eliza ran up to save her before he could start hitting on her again. "Hey Videl, check out all the people here! Wow, I never realized how crowded high school would be. Lord, over half the class I've never even seen before! And I know EVERYONE!"   
  
Videl smiled, "Sure you do, Eliza. Hmmm, got Mr Hallucks for Biology, dammit."   
  
Sharperner put his hands on Videl's shoulders, "Hey, you're in my class!"   
  
Videl tipped the blondie away from her and looked at something, "Oh my god. Look at this, our P.E. coach is Yamcha. My dad used to tell me stories about that guy! He's supposed to be the world's greatest baseball player."   
  
Eliza sighed, "Lucky. I have 'Water Aerobics'." She made her voice high pitched, "Come ON ladies, keep those thighs in gear. EX-CER-CISE! Teeheeheeeheeheeheee, let's talk about my cats while we're working, whadya say?"   
  
Videl shook in silent laughter, and started looking out at her new classmates. Nearly all of them kept to themselves, since many had moved in from far away to attend the school. The three looked around, Sharpener half-interestedly, at their new school, since the bell wouldn't ring for another few minutes.   
  
Sharpener suddenly stopped and stared ahead of him, "Man, that kid has a big load."   
  
Videl and Eliza glanced, and their eyes widened a bit. (No, it COULDN'T BE..) A somewhat short boy with spiky, jet-black hair had his arms quite full. He had his backpack slung over a shoulder, a mountain of extra books in his hands, a bag full of food, and a large packet of capsules, in addition to some extra articles of clothing, and a gym bag. And....well, ok, that's enough.   
  
The tall blonde shuddered, "Must've overbooked his classes or something. Oh man, he's gonna hit someone in the crowd."   
  
Videl squinted, something was unusual about him. "You know what's odd, he doesn't seem to be having trouble with all the weight. Oh no, but it's still going to tip over if he's not careful. Come on, we should help him or something."   
  
Eliza obediently agreed, "Kay. Hehe, he's pretty cute-looking, you know?"   
  
Sharperner snickered, "Right. He's a runt, I can see it from here."   
  
To her own surprise, Videl retorted, "Oh shut up, I'd like to see YOU carry all those damn books and bags."   
  
"All right, all right, sorry." She tried not to show her surprise. _Wow, he actually backed down. Is he MATURING?!? ....naaah._   
  


* * *

  
Gohan began to sweat nervously as he made the perilous journey to his locker. The load wasn't a problem, though he was getting some odd looks. His accursed saiyajin hearing had picked up what the three friends had said, and he heard them coming near. And one of them was Videl, the proud girl who had tried to kill him quickly and painfully the last time she met him. Even though he didn't have his blonde hair or green eyes, her perceptions were dangerously accurate.   
  
Mind occupied, he nearly ran into a small hyper little freshman with huge glasses, and barely managed to catch his gym bag with his leg.   
  
"Hey runt, what's with all the stuff?"   
  
Gohan looked up and saw a stout, spoiled punk with dyed blonde hair, dressed up in a 'ghetto' school uniform, with rips in it and everything. Behind him were three Henchman-Like-Bully-Friends (copyright). He sighed under his breath. _Wonderful. First day of school and I run into the stereotypical 'rebel' slackers. Feels like I'm in some trashy drama fic or something._ Before he could say anything, however, Videl and Eliza strode up, with Sharperner following behind casually.   
  
Videl glared at them, "Lord, Mark. First day of school and your already trying to get something started. Hey, need some help there, man?"   
  
Gohan smiled shyly. "Well..ok, thank you." Inside, he was rapidly adjusting his assessment of the girl, she was much nicer when she wasn't angry. (Good perception, huh?)   
  
Mark smirked, "Hi babe (He called her babe and smirked, he MUST be evil!), why DO you hang out with that loser Eliza and the runaway hair-obsessed freak Sharperner-"   
  
Sharpener stood back a little, but picked up some books. "Sorry fellas, but I think I look perfectly fine without piercing every known spot on my body."   
  
Eliza was sniffling a little bit, and Videl snarled, "And you expect me to go out with you someday, the way you insult my friends? Come on, let's go. Here, follow us, what's your locker number?"   
  
Mark stood there, not really knowing if he just looked cool or not, while Videl and the others helped Gohan to his locker. The boy was somewhat embarassed that he had started all that, so he kept his head down.   
  
Eliza popped alongside him. "So what's your name?"   
  
He scratced the back of his head nervously, but looked up, "I'm Gohan, nice to meet you.."   
  
"Eliza. The big oaf over there is Sharperner, and that's-"   
  
"Videl, right?"   
  
She blinked for a second, then laughed, "Yeah, I suppose her face is unmistakable."   
  
Videl frowned, however. He had responded pretty damn quickly considering how short a time he'd seen her. And unlike most people, he wasn't very afraid of her. Maybe HE'S the...Before she thought further, she checked herself. _I'm making a lot of conclusions off of a couple sentences. Geez, I'm still airheaded from that fight earlier._   
  
Gohan lowered his head again, though not so much, and smiled a little. At least he had gotten to know some good people already. Eliza giggled mentally. _Man, he's so CUTE. Shy boys are always sweet._ She smiled and turned to Videl, "So what was that whole thing at the mall about?"   
  
The saiyajin boy missed a step in rhythm and silently groaned. Lord, ANTHING but that! Videl snorted, and the familiar look of bad temper crossed her face. "I have absolutely no idea. One minute, I'm looking for my school uniform, next minute, I'm fighting against big brawny men with a three-year old and some blonde kid. And then the breifs' showed up and...oh, I don't know. OOOoooh, I REALLY want to get my hands on the blonde guy though. I know I was in a bad mood that day, but he and his little brother had the nerve to break into my dressing room!"   
  
Sharpener suddenly roared in laughter, "And you let him LIVE? Dear lord, your getting soft!"   
  
Videl casually tripped him up, catching the flailing books airily. "Oh shut up, moron. I would've given him a couple lumps to remember (besides THOSE two), but then the wall blew in and I had to try and save the *evacuated* people. Strange though, he could do some odd things..."   
  
Gohan gulped as he saw a 'wanted' poster with his former description on it. "What're those for?"   
  
Videl smirked at him, "That's my dad working. He apparently heard about everything from the butler, Percy, so he's willing to give out a rather large reward for the kid. Heh, my dad wants to beat him personally."   
  
_Big scare_ Gohan thought amusedly, and Eliza stifled a laugh, "Man, he must've been a big dope, huh? Getting in your way and all."   
  
Gohan's heart sank, but he was surprised to hear Videl sigh with a faraway look in her eyes. "Well,...sort of. I would've actually found him and kicked his ass by now, but...he had an unusual ability that I'm rather envious of."   
  
Sharperner looked intently, getting up from the floor, "What was that?"   
  
Videl sighed, a smile crossing her face, "Well, I don't know exactly how or why he did it, but he was able to float in midair, to fly!" (Are you sensing a running theme? Yeah, I thought so.)   
  
Sharperner stared for a sec, then laughed. "RIGHT, Videl. Your Dad's told us about that flying magician, whathisname, Forku or something, used that trick in the Cell Games, and explained how it all worked. The boy was trying to show off."   
  
Gohan fought down a surge of temper, reminding himself that most people didn't understand what happened. Videl frowned, "I doubt it. He was too damn scared of me to try and show off. But it doesn't matter, I'm still going to beat him up."   
  
Before another word could be said, however, the bell rang, and students rushed off to their first classes. Gohan picked up his Biology book and ran off with Videl and Sharperner, while Eliza strolled over to Algebra. The saiyajin boy swallowed slightly, he had this bad feeling that Videl was going to figure out who he was before too long.   
  


* * *

  
Time passed quickly, since describing each class would be rather boring and a waste of time.   
  
The four students sagged tiredly into their last class of the day. The one that everyone feared. The evil combination of Health and Home economics.   
  
Gohan sighed wearily. The day actually hadn't gone very badly, though there was a great deal of work given on the first day of school. He was getting to know his talkative friends well, and was thankful that they didn't ask too many questions about himself. And Videl hadn't been looking suspiciously at him like she had before. Maybe the day wouldn't turn out so bad after all!   
  
He should've known better.   
  
"Welcome to your final class before P.E., students. This is Social Health and Home Economics class. I am Mr. Forrester. Former teachers of this class have tried to be kind in explaining the organization of this class. I will be frank, I am not kind. Now, we have taken it upon ourselves to group you into boy/girl pairs, since that will be the most awkward and unusual way to introduce students. We HAVE tried, a little, to pair people with similar personalities, though obviously mistakes should be made to show how imperfect relationships fall apart. Finally, you will work with your partner throughout the year, often having to go over to one another's homes. Yes it is awkward and will make fine gossip, and no, I am not sympathetic to reputation and prestige. Now then, lets start the list."   
  
Everyone in the room blinked at him astonishedly. Videl whistled low under her breath, and Gohan was shaking a little. _You know, I just have this FEELING that I'm going to be paired up with Videl, and I can't finger a reason why._   
  
"Sharperner Pencil and Ann Alogy"   
  
The tall boy grimaced as Ann, a "chunky" gossip leader, giggled audibly. Eliza snickered under her breath, until her name was called.   
  
"Eliza ***** (hell I don't know) and Rick Ordor."   
  
Eliza ground her teeth together. It was one of Mark's tall, stupid followers. Sharpener looked sympathetic. "Sorry Eliza. Geez, he has to be picking the worst matches."   
  
"Videl Satan and Son Gohan."   
  
"Oh you lucky bastard," Eliza muttered, while Videl leaned back, somewhat relieved. _Least he didn't pick Mark._ She didn't know Gohan all that well yet, but he seemed nice, and would at least cooperate with her. Gohan, however, was more than a little nervous, and several of the other boys looked at him sympathetically. They quickly averted their eyes at Videl's Death Glare (tm).   
  
Gohan's mind raced in a panic. Videl would certainly find out now. He just knew it. His life would be over. Then she'd hate him. And-   
  
"Hey, earth to Gohan! We're heading down to cook things!"   
  
He snapped to attention, and saw Videl hovering over him. He blushed embarassedly. "Gomen. Uh...I don't really know how to cook.."   
  
She rolled her eyes and glared at the teacher, "Neither do I. Well, come on, don't just sit there!"   
  
Gohan scrambled to his feet, and they rushed to fulfill the randomly chosen recipe, a plain cheese pizza.   
  
Working in the kitchens was an utter mess. Both Gohan and Videl were pretty bad cooks, because of their spoiled upbringing, but the other people's bordered on a Natural Disaster. Sharperner threw down a sticky pan in disgust, while Eliza fumbled and spilled the muffin batter everywhere. Various liquids threatened to leak out into the main classroom.   
  
Videl sputtered, "Come on, pass me the cheese!"   
  
"That one?"   
  
"Yes!   
  
"But that's swiss-!"   
  
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!"   
  
"Sorry, sorry, here!"   
  
"Oy. Oh F***, I forgot the tomato sauce."   
  
"Don't you put that on first?"   
  
"Yes yes, I KNOW."   
  
"Oh no, I didn't put any yeast in the batter!"   
  
"Oh you've GOT to be kidding me!"   
  
"...I think I put in cinnammon..."   
  
THUD! Videl's head slammed on the table. "Oh lord, this is going to be a long year."   
  
"HEY, it's not ALL my fault! The yeast packet was hidden under this rock."   
  
"...I think that's a potato."   
  
Gohan and Videl finally turned up a rather tastless looking "upside down cinnamon pizza cracker", while a couple others managed to creep SOMETHING out of the ovens. But generally, nothing came out as planned, and all the couples were arguing heatedly at eachother.   
  
Finally, the teacher stopped all activity. "Well, your class is nearly finished, and, as I predicted, your first attempts at cooperation were utter disasters. On the grading scale, only four of you, that'd be Gohan, Videl, Nick, and Hellen, are ON the scale. As in, they got the oven to work. By next week, I expect vast improvement. You'll learn to work together, like it or not. You may leave a little early, if you wish."   
  


* * *

  
The gym was incredibly large, a glossy, magnificent building that only the luckiest ever played or performed in. Gohan casually finished slipping on a white underhirt, and reminded himself a thousand times over to not do anything stupid on his first day of P.E.   
  
Gohan jogged into the gym, being ultra-careful not to do anything too unusual. Videl and the few girls that participated in the advanced Physical Education course were over on the other end, doing some stretching. The boy strained his eyes away from the two, not their ridiculously tight jump suits, he just needed to pay attention, that's all. He failed to notice the open looks of admirement on the girls part at his well toned-physique, despite his smallish figure. Gohan also failed to notice Videl's intent glare. _It was his fault...why'd he pick swiss cheese, anyway?_   
  
Gohan smiled broadly as he watched Yamcha, hair now cut short and plain, stroll up to the ring, and stumble about 10 feet as he passed by. Yamcha eyed Gohan with a second of shock before composing himself and winking at him.   
  
"Well, welcome to Advanced Physical Education. I'll be your teacher, Yamcha. Now then, this class deals with potentially painful sports, so you have a week to decide whether you want to join the lower classes. Here, we'll be doing Physical Fitness, medium contact fighting, and Baseball. There is, of course, a sort of fighting tournament coming up this month, mostly to determine what skill classes we're dealing with. EVERYONE will participate in these classes, and everyone will do each sport. No whining please. But hey, half the fun of it is the work involved, right?"   
  
Everyone nodded eagerly. Not every kid got a world-famous baseball star as their coach.   
  
"Good! Now, let's start with some physical training....."   
  


* * *

  
Gohan tried hard to act tired like the others, but the stretches and weight lifting had not been very difficult, consideromg the kind of training he normally did. He winced internally, the other classmates were pretty surprised that he could benchpress 350 without really breaking a sweat. Of course, he could benchpress a car without breaking a sweat, but still. He sighed and put on the annoying, hot, puffy protection gear, which would be useless in the fighting he was used to. Disgusted, he disregarded the helmet, it would never get over his hair.   
  
Videl had noticed his unusual strength pretty quickly, and he felt her eyes boring into the back of his head.   
  
"All right people, now then, would anyone like to have a go at some light contact sparring?"   
  
A few people raised their hands, one of them Gohan, who noted with some glee the pale look on Yamcha's face as he quickly passed him over. "Okay, how about...you and you."   
  
He picked out Rick Order, the tall goon that had been Eliza's partner, and a tall, but wiry and nerdish sophmore.   
  
"All right, these guys are kind of like demonstrations. The rules are basically, if they're down for a count of 5, if they're knocked out of the ring, or if they kill their opponent, they lose that match, and will likely get me fired. Oh yes, and remember, this is light contact, so show some restraint if your partner is weaker than you." Yamcha glanced shortly at Gohan, who smiled and nodded.   
  
"Now then, begin."   
  
Mark and the other couple of goons jeered EVILLY at the poor skinny kid as Rick advanced on him. The boy had gone for the extra physical fitness, but he was nowhere near ready to spar. Rick heftily round house kicked him in the head, sending him sprawling on the mat.   
  
Gohan grit his teeth, and noticed the others murmur nervously. Yamcha grimaced, he hadn't picked as evenly as he had thought. The kid lay there, senseless, while Rick grinned stupidly at his friends. "All right, that was a bad pick. You all right there, Ralph?"   
  
Ralph was dazed, but he rose to his feet, trembling. Rick quickly tripped him as he made his way off the mat, and many people laughed, albiet pityingly.   
  
(Wonder who Yamcha'll pick for revenge?) Yamcha sighed, "Anyone else like to try and demonstrate?" He scanned the crowd, and suddenly grinned as he focused on Gohan. "How about you?"   
  


* * *

  
Videl held back her surprise as Yamcha picked out Gohan, who was a good deal shorter than the last guy. She knew by experience that size never counted, but still, first day and everything. Yet she had this strange feeling that he would win in a funny way that would serve to make him look better, like in a story. She leaned in, trying to hear over the chatter as Yamcha whispered something to the boy.   
  
"......take it easy, they don't know..."   
  
Matt shouted out, "Hey comeon, let's see baby-book-boy fight Rick. HA! Baby-book-boy, I crack me up!"   
  
No one really listened besides his group. Rick was mean and stupid, and the new kid hadn't done anything to incriminate himself in the gossip corners for an entire day, besides carrying a lot of stuff, which was a monumentous achievement.   
  
Gohan walked up, face and eyes entirely neutral. Rick locked himself in a bizzare stance, arms spread out at odd mathematical angles, foot jiggling in midair, while Gohan slid into his usual, solid fighting stance. He tried very, very hard not to burst out roaring at the utterly stupid position.   
  
Videl suddenly frowned, eyes squinting. Something didn't seem quite right here. One of the girls noticed her scowl and asked, "What's going on Videl? You ok?"   
  
"Hmmm? Yeah, I'm fine, it's just....well..."   
  
"Yeah, we all want to see Rick get knocked down, I know."   
  
But it wasn't that that was bothering her. Something about this didn't seem to ring quite right. It was his stance. It wasn't the stance of a freshman bookworm. And, he didn't seem to be worried at all. She narrowed her eyes further. _We'll see..._   
  
"Ok, let's start."   
  
Rick EVILLY sent a swift lower kick to Gohan's legs at the end of the word 'let's'. Gohan neatly stepped back, and Rick advanced, grinning stupidly. No one cheered much as they circled, though there was a general decorum towards Gohan. Videl watched intently, now she KNEW something wasn't right. Gohan was far too casual. This'd be a strange match, she knew it.   
  
Rick launched another kick, but this time Gohan blocked it tightly by swinging out with his left arm. The tall boy cried out and spun twice, then dropped to the floor, rubbing his ankle and tearing.   
  
Everyone fell over anime-style, while Gohan just loosened out of his stance, blinking.   
  
Yamcha groaned and smacked his forehead. "Ok, I think Gohan wins this one. *sigh* I think that's all the time we have for today. Tommorow we'll work on baseball, and try to make some more even matchings for sparring. Rick, we should take you to the infirmary."   
  
Everyone got up, starting to laugh a little, while Rick hopped over to the doctor. Mark glared at the black-haired boy, as he and the rest of the gang followed Rick, making fun of him. He only glared at them and said, "You try kicking him, it's like hitting a f***ing rock."   
  
Videl was giggling along with the others, but inside her mind was working with amazing speed. Rick wasn't exactly an amazing fighter, but he could kick pretty well. The boy's block had been average-looking, but a block that could send someone spinning was kind of strange. From this evidence, she deduced that maybe something wasn't quite normal about him. (Naaaawwww).   
  


* * *

  
Gohan was packing up his books, wisely deciding to leave some in his locker, when Videl came up to him. Eliza and Sharperner had already gone home, PE conveniently ended earlier for them. "Hey, Gohan?"   
  
He pretended to strain under the weight, and turned, "Hi videl, what's up??" He blanched visibly at the look on her face. She was shorter than him, eyes level with his mouth or so, but she looked so commanding and imperious that he felt about a foot tall.   
  
"WHAT happened in that fight back there?"   
  
_Oh no..._ "Fight?"   
  
Videl tapped her foot and scowled, "Don't play stupid. Now, how on earth did you beat Rick so easily?"   
  
Gohan blanched, "Um...I dunno, I blocked, and he kicked wrong or someting..."   
  
"No, it's incriminating evidence! You're.....what the hell am I saying?" She sighed and leaned against the lockers, stretching her shoulders back, "Sorry, I geuss I'm overly suspicious of people lately. Must be the influence of my dad." (Hey, I'm not letting her find out THAT fast.)   
  
They started walking out, Gohan doing his best not to look down as she stretched her shoulders back, thrusting her chest forward. "Yeah, my dad's really on the rampage. When Percy described that boy to him, and told him about Vegeta Briefs, he freaked out a little. He worries so much about me now. It's sweet, in an I-will-kill-him-if-he-says-it-one-more-time sort of way."   
  
Gohan chuckled nervously, and she smirked at him, "I should take you to spar with my dad sometime, that'd be interesting. Well, I'll catch you tomorrow!" She waved and strode off towards the mountain that turned out to be her house.   
  
Gohan stood, a nervous laugh on his face. "Um, yeah, that would be interesting.....he'd scream bloody murder...."   
  
He smiled, turned, and, making sure he was hidden, was about to zip off into the air. Sighing in relief, he realized that he had survived an entire day of school without being discovred.   
  
"HEY! Gohan, what're you doing, you dropped your biology book!"   
  
The boy tripped and fell, ANIME-STYLE, again, while Videl looked on, eyes wide and innocent like a newborn babe's. "What are you doing?"   
  
Gohan stood up and laughed nervously, "Um, eheh....I was....looking at that bird!"   
  
"....the crow? Why?"   
  
"Um....Wow, we got a lot of homework, don't we?"   
  
Videl squinted, "Yup, sure do. You know, I have the oddest feeling I've met you before, do you?"   
  
The poor boy was sweating, he wasn't a good liar. "I don't think so, eheh. I've seen your face a lot on TV and stuff, but I've never seen you in person prior to today...um, you're a very nice person...um...."   
  
To his utter surprise, she shrugged, which was somewhat distracting, and dropped it. "Ok. Well, see you tomorrow!"   
  
She stretched her back deeply again, just to get some kinks out, of course. Her smile broadened as his face slowoly reddened, and she walked airliy off.   
  
The utterly confused boy stood there, corner of his mouth twitching nervously. _...Man...girls are even wierder than I thought..._   
  
Careful this time not to be caught, he sped off home, tired and ready to fall asleep but having to do homework anyway. Like all students. Under the same dusk that set as Gohan flew home, Pilaf brooded silently over his Chef Boyardee ABC soup, waiting for an opportunity to arise and present itself.   
  
And it did.   
  
SUSPENSE.   
  
  
_To be continued   
  


* * *

  
Stay tuned for next chapter, as school presents challenges, Pilaf hatches a master plan, which involves use of the dragonballs. What sort of (genuinely serious) threat will he present? None? And how long will it take Videl to find out who Gohan is? A couple more hours? Till next time, Ja ne :) _


	4. The Saturday Stroll, or, Identity Mistak...

The young Empress Satan marched relunctantly forward through the garden maze towards her front outer gate, through the front inner gate, aside the inner front outer gate, over the inner front inner outer gate, and so on, and so forth. She sighed moodily to herself, it had been an unusual week of school, and there was a lot she needed to think about.   
  
The interrogation began the second she closed the final inner inner INNER-middle gate door.   
  
"ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY? DID ANYONE HARASS YOU? ANY TEACHERS GO AFTER YOU? I WANT A PONY! WHAT KIND OF HOMEWORK DO YOU HAVE! WHAT THE HELL, WHY ARE YOU SO SWEATY? YOU FORGET YOUR LUNCH MONEY? WERE YOU FLIRTING WITH ANY **_BOYS!?_**"   
  
Videl sighed and stroked her lustrous black hair back. "Nothing, no, no, too bad, a lot, it's hot out, no, and no Dad, I'm flirting with GIRLS."   
  
Hercule's eyes widened, "Really? ....well, dear...I want you to know that your daddy still loves you. What was it like? Did you-?"   
  
The girl glared at her father icily, "Oh shut UP. I'm going to my room if you need me. Pervert." She stalked off upstairs, while her father scratched his head. _What'd I say?.....better get those security cameras up in case of stalkers._   
  
Videl hiked up to her room, trying hard not to think about all the hours of homweork she had that weekend. Which wasn't too hard, because she had something to brood over. And that, of course, was the new boy in their group, Gohan.   
  
She KNEW something wasn't normal with him, and it was REALLY beginning to bother her. First off, he never seemed tired in the morning, during class, or after 6 mile 'endurance tests.' Then, of course, the fact that he wasn't particularly afraid of her fighting skills annoyed her. He had, on thursday, actually FINISHED a 5-page History Paper during a 20 minute break. And got an A- on it, which he was EMBARASSED about. But what probably pushed her over the edge into a brooding-mood was when he hit a grounder, HER fastball, during the last baseball game, which, indcidentally, destroyed the fence and blew into the street.   
  
_Well....he's a hopeless incompetent at cooking...I can hold THAT over his head. Huh, strawberry jam my ass._   
  
But he was nice, at least. Though she tended to take out her agression on him on accasion, he never was impolite. Not often, anyway. And it WAS fun and ego-boosting to mess with his mind, and watch the various colors shine on his face, by doing her 'stretches' in front of him all the time. The girl had a feeling that she had met him before, though she couldn't really see how. (She's not being deliberately dumb to make her discovery more dramatic. Hell no.)   
  
She sighed and took out a notebook. "All right, lessee. Math assignment Saturday, 1-67 page 17. Math assignment Sunday, 1-160 excluding numbers 21 and 22, because I'm nice, page 25. Be prepared for a pop quiz on monday! *sigh* Oh JOY!"   
  


* * *

  
While Videl pondered hours bulldozing through homework and school stuff, Gohan zipped quickly through his "easy review practice" and started to play "Super Saiyajin Marbles" with his little brother, though he was careful to catch the little balls before they hit the walls and burnt through them.   
  
Chichi smiled as she started cooking up a medium-sized dinner, which basically meant she took every scrap of food out of the fridge and threw it into a pot. "So how was your first week at school, dear?"   
  
Coughing, he responded, "It was...ah, interesting. Good, but...."   
  
Chichi busily scrubbed her favorite pot, "but...?"   
  
"Mom, you were a girl once, right?"   
  
The saiyajin boy faced the wrath of his mother's highly-polished Death Glare, and Goten dropped his marble, muffling a whimper. "Um, eheh, wrong wording...uh...you remember being a school-girl?"   
  
Without any trace of anger, she went back to rubbing her pot and hiding a laugh, "Yes, of course. Though, my education was nothing like yours, I trained for most of my teen years, trying to make myself equal to Goku. Didn't exactly work...but...I got the desired results." She smiled and sighed, "That was a interesting evening, to say the least....thought I'd die laughing when he asked if I was hungry when I asked 'I'd like a big hotdog right now..."   
  
"Um....eheh....were you hungry?...."   
  
"Never mind dear. You were saying?"   
  
".....uh, anyway were you ever around those girls that would try to kill someone one minute, and then start patting their back the next?"   
  
Chichi started furiously scrubbing her pot, muffling giggles. She could see where THIS was going. "Ah, yes. Used to be pushy like that on occasion, though not often RIGHT? *both boys nod vigorously* Good. So what's your problem."   
  
Gohan fidgeted nervously with his shirt collar, and described, completely innocently,, his predicament. "Well, this girl at school, uh, she's nice to me sometimes, then she'll yell at me, then she'll be nice to me, then she'll threaten to kill me, and in the same sentence she'll compliment me and...and...."   
  
Chichi smothered more giggles, now turning the faucet on full blast, to fill up the pot. "Oh I'm *snick* sure she's just *giggle* asserting her *snick snick giggle* authority over you. *GIGGLE*"   
  
Gohan shrugged and yawned, his mother was sure acting strange today. He slumped in a chair, mumbling. "And she kept stretching her back, leaning over tables to stretch her shoulders, and I can't understand why, but she only ever does it near me....."   
  
Chichi's laughter rang through the woods like an explosion, scattering birds for all directions.   
  
The boy stamped his foot, "MOM!, what's so funny?! I'm SERIOUS!" He drew it back, thankful that his mom was too busy to notice the new hole under the table.   
  
"N-nothing deeheeheear. PPPPPPPHHHHTTT!!!! *GIGGLE* I think my little boy's becoming a man in some people's eyes."   
  
His face flushed deep red, "No no no. Mom, this is the SAME girl that tried to KILL me at the mall!"   
  
Goten shivered, and curled into a tiny little ball, "She scara meee. Thought she'da eat mee, like a hawtdoggy like Gohan."   
  
Gohan threw his arms up in the air as Chichi's laughter erupted again. "Oh FORGET it! I'm off to change."   
  
"Wait ONE second young man! What's your homework like this weekend!" It was actually rather amazing how quickly her moods could change.   
  
Gohan waved his hand, "Oh, stuff I did when I was 8. Not very hard, already finished most of it, but I have to go to the park tomorrow to collect plant cell samples."   
  
Chichi nodded, "Ok...but why the park? We live in the middle of the woods!"   
  
"They have to be of a specific tree or something, and I'm meeting my friends there. Shouldn't take much longer than a few hours." (How convenient)   
  
Chichi nodded her assent and Gohan went up and started to change into his fighting gi for some training. Then an odd thought struck him. _Gosh, I certainly hope nothing BAD happens while I'm at the park with my classmates...._   
  


* * *

  
Pilaf sat in his high-chair brooding the new upgrades and the consequential difficulies. This was not the cakewalk he had bene PROMISED by Shao and Mai.   
  
After the troops had been wiped out at the mall, most of the soldiers were thinking of desertion. He had to use the special machine on their group leaders to keep them in order. None of them really had places to go anyway, the fools. He sighed, it was harder than he thought to lead even a small army, and he kind of wished that it was just him, Shao, and Mai, against a much weaker, chibi-Goku. Hercule and his daughter were becoming thourough nuisances, and eventually, something would go wrong. He munched fitfully on his specially prepared ice-cream cone, _At least that strange volunteer showed up, she's going to help infinitely._   
  
His new advisor, calling herself the AnimeDevilBidel (the evil alter-ego of AnimeAngelVidel), suggested that, to keep the Satans from interfering, they would continue to make Hercule super-protective of his daughter, so she couldn't interefere during their plans. She would see to this personally, and...add-in a few extra measures. While they were occupied, Pilaf would collect the dragonballs himself, along with Shao and Mai.   
  
Of course, he had worries that Bulma and the others might try to intterupt him, but he had not seen Goku at all, and figured that his new gaurds could take care of the others. They would show themselves at the..um...THE PARK, in order to make up for their humiliating defeat earlier. Yes, the park would do nicely. Tomorrow, at precisely 3:56 PM.   
  
But what to wish for? Immortality was always nice, but, then again, immortality would not give him the world. He'd just be old forever. No, he needed a weapon of some sort, power, a bodygaurd, perhaps, that would render any threat harmlesss.   
  
The emporer smiled EVILLY, and rang a bell, summoning an big stupid soldier to him instantly. "Bring me some records of major past events with Extra-Terestrials. I have an idea...ha ha...AHAHA......WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *evil villain music*."   
  
"uuuuuuhh....whats exba Serritials"   
  
"**GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA**.......um....I believe a good way to describe them, sir, is as creatures from another planet. Now, please tell me you understood what I just stated."   
  
"uuuuuuuhhh....huh?"   
  
The emporer blazed up to his full height on the chair, about 2 feet or so, and screamed, "ALIENS YOU MORON! **ALIENS!** Oh, just bring me Shao and Mai! Pretty sad when those're my smartest advisors. *sigh*"   
  
"uuuuuuuhhh....yes masterness....uh.....um....who?"   
  


* * *

  
The South City Park was basically a thick forest with a tiny, crowded path (full of "extreme hikers"), which ended at a large, open meadow by a cliff. (which most certainly won't be an important factor to our story). In the distance, untamed wilderness lay, and with the recent rains, everything was extremely muddy. There were smells of cool tarpits wafting over the meadow (god I HATE that), which resulted from a factory explosion during the days of Cell. These vast lakes loomed in the distance, much like modern quicksand pits. (also not important)   
  
Gohan hiked over to join Sharpener, Eliza, and Videl, wearing his usual "study" clothes: Baggy, dark blue pants, a laced white shirt, but wore hiking boots instead of fighting shoes. Sharperner, dressed in his school clothes, nodded to Gohan and indicated that he would collect the samples. Eliza was dressed in a pink shirt and a sort of long yellow skirt, but not really a dress. She was in a different science course, but had come along to keep the other three company. Videl, however was all business as usual, in black jeans and a tight white sweater, and she fumbled around with her things, chatting over her shoulder with the blonde. Smiling amiably, Gohan sat near the edge of their little workspace, in time to overhear Eliza gossiping about "The Gold Fighter." (cLeVeR PaRaLeL! i'm a 133t fAn!)   
  
"Videl, you know him best, is he charming?"   
  
Gohan choked, _Oh GREAT. AGAIN?!_ He had to find a way to prove he wasn't....himself before it was too late.   
  
"Charming? HAH! He was a shrimp! Lord, and that hair. Looked like someone stuck a large, messy birdnest of hay on his head." (ouch)   
  
Videl frowned at herself for a second, "Well...that's a bit harsh, but I was just a TAD annoyed at him to really be thinking about that. Why DO you keep bringing this up anyway?" _Seriously_, Gohan thought sullenly. _My hair doesn't look THAT bad._   
  
But Eliza was too far gone in gossip-land to think about stopping, and twirled around. "Could he shoot fire out of his hands and destroy a store by glaring at it?"   
  
The poor boy fidgeted nervously with his collar, but neither was taking heed. "No no no. The other guy, Bulma's husband, did that. Funny though, never see him in public, and not many reporters have tried to figure him out, not since the channel 5 guy dissapeared. Like I said, all I remember is that the boy could fly."   
  
Eliza suddenly turned and beamed at Gohan. "Hehe, what do you think, Gohan? You think he could destroy a city by blinking too hard?"   
  
He was thinking about tossing himself over a cliff and hitting every jagged rock possible. Videl stared at him intently. She suddenly remembered the strange woman that had helped her. "Yeah, I almost forgot. There was some strange woman there, and I think the blonde guy and the little 3-year old were her sons. You know, Gohan, you kind of-"   
  
"Hey, you guys, I got the microscope focused. C'mere and take a look!"   
  
Gohan tried hard not to collapse in relief, rushed passed Videl's burning eyes, and tried to casually walk over and check it out, almost slipping on some mud. Sharperner caught his arm, "Careful, brainy. Clumsy as a lame-footed mule. Now, we're supposed to draw out what we see and label the Nucleus, the Mitochhondria, I think that's what it is, the cell wall, cell membrane...."   
  
"Like this?" Gohan held out a neatly, perfectly drawn picture of a plant cell, with every single part labeled in neat, polished handwriting. Sharpener's eyes widened. "Dear god, you got a library in that head of yours or what?"   
  
Videl mmuttered somewhat bad-temperedly, "How in hell do you do that....the cell wall is on the outside isn't it?"   
  
Gohan stared at his paper in surprise. "W-whoops. Mixed the two up, thank you....Man, my mom would've killed me if she had seen that. Ah well, I don't really like Cells very much anyway." (heh)   
  
She smirked lightly to herself. _Well, at least he isn't PERFECT._ Then she sighed, _Nor is he very resentful, either. Bastard. _ Sharperner tapped Videl on the shoulder, "Hey, Videl, how do you draw the-"   
  
**_"FREEZE!!!!!"_** Four Tall Henchmen (tm) dropped out of the trees and surrounded Sharperner with guns before he could blink. One of them turned to a shocked Videl. "Don't worry, miss Satan, we'll keep him from molesting you! DIRTY SCUM! DO ANY MAGIC CRAP AND WE'LL BLAST YOUR HEAD OFF!"   
  
Videl stammered, "W-what?"   
  
Gohan stood up, "What's going on?" In response, he only recieved a very ugly glare. Eliza shrieked and hid behind him.   
  
"Your father sent us to make sure no boy tries to use you. Which reminds me, YOU, BUSHY-HAIR, put your arms IN THE AIR and SIT ON YOUR HANDS!"   
  
"....what?"   
  
"DON'T ARGUE WITH-!"   
  
Videl, however, had woken up, and small, delicate flowers were withering to dust at the expression on her face. "Get....the hell.......out......of here."   
  
"It's for your own good."   
  
**_"LEAVE ME ALONE! GO JACK OFF IN SOME ALLEY! SCRAM! AND TELL MY DAD HE CAN GO........URURURURURRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"_**   
  
The leader sighed, "We were afraid of this. Well, we'll have to detain you for your own protection."   
  
She gasped in disbelief. "WHAT? Are you JOKING ME?"   
  
Gohan slowly, to avoid suspicion, rendered all of their guns useless by melting the metal inside with ki. Something about their attitude didn't ring right at all. "Come with us Videl, don't try and fight us. We'll send a slip to your teacher on monday."   
  
Sharpener struggled to break free, but had a gun barrel shoved up his nose. He hissed, "Videl, what the hell's going on!"   
  
Videl growled, "I don't know. If this really is my Dad's doing......last chance, don't make me kick your asses."   
  
One in the back raised a gun, "Now now, miss Videl, don't make me hurt you for your safety. Or your 'friends.'" Videl froze where she stood, astonishment and disbelief etched on her face.   
  
_Now I KNOW something odd's going on._ Gohan's eyes narrowed. "Now hold on a second. Even HER dad wouldn't-!"   
  
"SHUT UP, BRAT! Merc, go restrain that boy!"   
  
Videl snapped. Sceeching like a buzzard, she front-kicked the henchman hard in the gut before he could put forward a toe. He toppled to the ground, eyes rolled upword. Before she could turn, however, another one moved behind and grabbed her by the arms. He raised a fist to strike her on the back of her head. (suspense)   
  
Eliza broke from behind Gohan and threw a glob of mud in the captor's face, temporarily blinding him. Videl quickly recovered and threw a roundhouse kick to his head, sending him sprawling onto the grass. Another tall one broke away from sharperner and charged, furious, waving his rifle like a bat.   
  
CRACK! A solid flying kick from Gohan sent him sailing into a nearby tree, which broke at the base. The gaurd lay crumpled like a pig's house of sticks after a visit by the wolf.   
  
Sharperner finally tried to break away, but not quickly enough. His eyes widened as the leader pulled the trigger of his rifle.   
  
*click* *clickclickclick* Hot metal began to ooze out of the barrel of the gun. "WHAT THE HELL? M-MY GUN! SO YOU DO HAVE MAGIC POWERS! YOU---AUGH!!"   
  
Wasting no time, Sharperner threw a clean right hook, knocking the other back into the path. The henchman swiftly recovered, and blazed a sweeping kick in retaliation. Sharperner hastily blocked high, and by complete luck, the tall man lost his balance and stumbled backwoords. Seizing the chance to take out some agression, Videl jumped forward and kicked the man...below the belt.   
  
"Auuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!e-e--rrrghhhhh......*thud*" Passing out from pain, the boss lay on the ground in a fetal position, twitching and writhing. Sharperner winced, that had to suck.   
  
Videl was positively shaking in anger and started apologizing profusely. "I'm so sorry for all of this, you guys. My dad must be going insane! Oh, I'm going TO **KILL** HIM!!!! Sharperner, did that guy actually try to SHOOT YOU?" She crushed a small rock she was holding into pieces.   
  
Usually calm, the tall blonde sat down, shaking. "Yeah, but I geuss his gun was jammed or something."   
  
She turned and kicked the nearest gaurd hard in the face, sending him skimming into some mud. "Least no one noticed all this way up here. Oh....yeah, Gohan, thanks for the save. Lord, I thought you were a good distance away, too."   
  
Gohan chuckled nervously, "Um, eheh, thanks. You too, though that last hit was a bit painful and unnecessary..."   
  
Videl growled, and the pieces of rock turned into pebbles, "Good." At this particular moment, Percy arrived on the scene, holding a bag. "Oh, there you are, Miss Videl, you father sent me to you and your friends with some....some....snacks...."   
  
The fat little man stared wide-eyed at the scene around him, then gurgled as Videl grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. "OK PERCY! WHEN DID MY DAD ORGANIZE THIS, AND WHERE IS HE NOW, BECAUSE HE'S AS GOOD AS DEAD! **_YOU HEAR ME!!!?_**"   
  
Percy stammered, "*CHOKE* M--m-m-m-miss Videl, calm yourself, please! He only sent me, I don't know WHO these guys are, I swear!"   
  
Her look of fury melted into confusion, "What?"   
  
"Y-yes. He told me to give your friends some food, and to tell him if any of your friends were, ah, hitting on you, and to try and stop them. Except, he also said to describe it to him if you started hitting on girls-"   
  
Beet-faced, she screamed, "GET OUT OF HERE!" She stormed about, and kicked a small sapling clean through the middle. Gohan eyebrows raised, surprised. _She's a lot stronger than her dad, anyway.....not that that's really saying much._   
  
"Y-your food?" Fat little Percy stood quivering in utter terror, expecting to die, but he had pledged to give her the food, and he would.   
  
She snatched it from him, "Take these people out of my sight, and tell my dad what happened! And if he doesn't have an explanation, HELL'S FURY WILL BE WROUGHT!"   
  
Percy squeaked, threw a capsule plane down, threw the men into the back with inhuman speed, and sped off.   
  
Slumping on the trampled grass, she sighed, energy temporarily drained. "What the hell's going on? Lord, one week into school and everything's all screwed up."   
  
Eliza smiled, "Aw, it hasn't been THAT bad. We took care of those morons easily. But Sharperner, what were they talking about when they were screaming about your 'magic powers'."   
  
He brushed his long blonde hair back, "Geuss it's my irresistable charm."   
  
Videl smirked weakly, "Over other men?"   
  
"Oh...shut it. No, I have no idea. Heh, maybe they thought I was the gold fighter."   
  
Videl spat, "That's impossible. My dad at least konws you and has a picture perfect description of the real boy, so why would they make that kind of mistake?"   
  
Gohan was barely audible, "Maybe they weren't sent by your dad..."   
  
Silence laced the four for what seemed like hours, until Videl found her voice, "But that's preposterous, who would want to kidnap me? If they even tried randsom, they'd have my father tearing the world apart with his bare hands!"   
  
"Well...that's exactly my point. Your dad, I hear, is a touch overprotective. *Videl snorts* But do you REALLY think he'd actually give his men orders to injure you if you misbehaved, and kill us if we interfered?"   
  
Shaprerner growled, "I think it'd be best if we keep some of these details to ourselves. Don't tell them anything more about these guys, or Videl'll be under virtual house arrest for the rest of her life."   
  
Eliza whimpered a bit, "But won't she be in danger?"   
  
Videl snapped, "Oh, I could've taken these guys alone if I had known who they were! Now I'll be on my gaurd. Come on, let's see what's in this bag, anyway."   
  
Gohan picked it up and spilled the contents on the grass. Groaning aloud, Videl picked up a bag of oreos. (mmmmm, oreos) "Does he want me to be fat or what? Why is it ALWAYS Doughnuts and Double-Stuffed Oreos? And....what the hell would I need with a Taser.....oh I HATE HIM! SO MUCH!"   
  
Gohan picked up another item unwittingly. "Pepper spray? What is-?"   
  
The raven-haired girl angrily snatched the bottle and threw it over the fence, into the tar pit, and then roared right next to a crnigng Gohan. "NO MORE OF THIS! COME ON, LET'S GO BACK TO WORK!" No one dared to argue.   
  
They all picked up their workbooks, not really in the mood to work anymore. The copse was empty, most of their classmates had already left the area even before they had started. Sharperner sighed. "Ah man, this sucks. Hey Videl, what're you doing?"   
  
She muttered, "Can't find my damn noteb-oh NO!"   
  
A soilled, muddy, soggy mess of a wad of pape floating in a mud puddle was all that remained of Videl's science workbook. She slumped to the grass again, voice trembling, "Great, just PEACHY, just TERRIFIC. I have to rewrite all those damn notes, and redraw that cell, and have to get all those packets from the teacher. My grade'll drop like a rock..Oh....god...."   
  
Sharperner whistled softly as he tried to open the book, "Yup.....that really sucks...."   
  
Videl was on the verge of tears. Now her evening would be ruined, and if she cried in front of Sharperner, Eliza, and Gohan, she'd die.   
  
Without thinking, Gohan crept up and handed his notebook out to her. "Um, here Videl, take mine."   
  
She blinked, looking down at Gohan's shiny, clean science notebook. She snapped her head up and looked him straight in the eyes, astonishment written all over her face. The hours it would take...."B-but then you'd have to..!"   
  
Gohan looked down at his boots. Her eyes made him too nervous. "N-no, it's not a problem. I have some old notes from a while back on all of that, I can dig those up."   
  
Videl blinked again, and gazed upon the notebook, the simple honesty of the offer astounding her. Then she smiled, a rarity in nature, but a wonderous one. She took the notebok, and let a hand glide over his. "Why, thank you Gohan. I'll find a way to pay you back for it." (heh) Her dark blue eyes seemed to twinkle at him as she passed, looking at his notes. He stood rooted to the ground like a bushy tree, corner of his mouth twitching in the Look-At-Me-Aren't-I-Adorably-Nervous-Smile (tm).   
  
(A/N: Whenever there's a romance story, and eyes are mentioned, it's a mushy moment. Common fact.)   
  
Eliza tried hard not to giggle, knowing how embarassing that would be for poor Gohan. She ambled up to Sharperner, who was staring at something in the distance. "Hey, pencil-boy, what time is it?"   
  
"Thought I saw some fire....uh, 3:55." *dum, dum, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*   
  


* * *

  
Not much earlier, Blue Jr., lookalike son of General Blue, oversaw the final stages preparation, as his newest invention prepared to take the park by surprise. He smirked to himself as he watched his troops scurry about their tasks, extremely careful not to do anything to irritate they're unpredictable leader. Unfortunately, history has a way of repeating itself. (A/N: In other words, go get a VIZ DB graphical novel. NOW.)   
  
"All right, prepare the machine for departure, and keep some scouts out in case of trouble. We thorw up the big fireworks display after killing whoever's up there, tell the world to surrender to Pilaf, and then we get paid!"   
  
The soldiers all cheered as hard as they could.   
  
He turned and pointed straight at one of the mechanics people working visibly in the back. "YOU! YES **YOU!**"   
  
The nerdy looking mechanic stammered, "W-wha?"   
  
"Chewing on your figernail?!!!?!?!"   
  
He gasped, "B-but, no please, I'm SORRY! I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! I'll...I'LL CUT MY FINGER OFF!"   
  
Blue Jr held a hankerchief up to his nose. "Disgusting habit AND solution. Execute him, immediately."   
  
Two burly soldiers grinned and took the gibbering workman by the arms, dragging him off to the "Happy Room". Blue sighed as screams and flames sounded off in the distance. "Lovely sounds..,"   
  
The two burly soldiers strode out, grinning EVILLY. *insert evil villain music and joint laughter of everyone in the room*   
  
A high-pitched, squeaky voice rang out, "I-I'm not dead....I'm just Very Badly Burned." (see Austin Powers)   
  
The general blasted his head up, outraged. The two soldiers grimaced and marched hastily back into the room.   
  
Jr's advisor, Colonel Mustard, who would be completing the mission, looked at him questioningly. He shouted over the din, "So tell me, why exactly are we dong this at the park? Why not at some huge city or something. With this kind of army, we could destroy practically anything! Why only ONE robot? And I need to find Mrs White, in the Billiard Room, with her Candlestick! I'm not particularly keen on going alone."   
  
The tall, blonde lookalike of his father laughed, "You'll go alone if I order you to, and don't even think about refusing me. As for using the army, sure sure, we could do that, but then, who'd we have to rule over? Destroying city after city wouldn't accomplish much. Besides, orders are orders, and grand Pilaf must not be dissapointed again. Though I certainly would like to get my hands on those people that obliterated the last group. ALL RIGHT! INTO YOUR SOMEWHAT-MOBILE-SUIT!! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!"   
  
Little did he know he'd be missing two of his hated foes in exactly one minute. At *dum dum DUUUUUM* 3:56.   
  
  
_To Be Continued_

* * *

  
What sort of major plan will Pilaf initiate? What else could go wrong at the park? Why the hell did General Blue have a son if he was allegedly gay? (Because I needed a good villain, and General Blue was the best in Dragonball). Stay tuned for Chapter 5. It might even get SERIOUS. *gasp* Ja ne! 


	5. The Truth Revealed, or, Vegeta Blows Aga...

(PS. Ok, I looked through this after completeion and insertion on the net, and realized I made some errors that started bothering me profusely. Actually, I was TOLD about some errors, rather plainly. Since I couldn't sleep very well thinking that one of my chapters didn't meet my own requirements,I went and fixed it, by sneaking down here long after I was supposed to be in bed. Not incredibly big, just some tweaks. Mostly, I made it overdramatic, like I feared I would. Anyway, enjoy.)   
  


* * *

  
The entire day went to hell before any of Videl's group could blink.   
  
It was Sharperner who first saw throngs of people running out of the woods, prompting the four friends to run across the path towards the (now burning) visitor center. Gohan grimaced as he saw innocent people *not dying or in any pain, but being very hastily evacuated by parachute*, and nearly tripped over a decimated tree lying in the path. Then Eliza screamed.   
  
A massively huge robot, resembling a Mobile Suit of sorts, except without the (useless) sword and the (montone-voiced) heroic pilots, was tearing the place apart. Gohan grit his teeth angrily, he couldn't attack that thing with the others there, or he'd get into even more trouble than he probably was already in. Before another thought could cross his mind, a many-colored explosion ripped apart the ground between them, sending them all flying. Sharperner sailed into a ditch head-first, Eliza landing on top of him, and Gohan flew back down the path. Gathering his senses quickly, he flipped in air, clumsily balancing on one knee after slowing down. He looked over his shoulder, and paled.   
  
Videl had taken the worst of it, and was flying over the Dangerous Cliff To The Conveniently and Completely Pointless Tar Pit Miles Away.   
  
Glumly hoping that by some massive miracle, she wouldn't recognize him, he blasted to Super Saiyajin and took off after her.   
  


* * *

  
Hercule, the world champion, was bad-temperdly stomping back and forth. Videl had promised to be back by 4:00! It was now 4:01, he KNEW something was wrong. (P.S. AAV's gonna hate me for this ^_^)   
  
That fat idiot Percy had come back with four henchmen of some sort, bruised and battered, that had apparently attacked her or something. He silently wondered if they knew who they were dealing with, and what kind of hell they'd be put through if they had succeeded. Moping, he turned and called for his maid to come and assist him.   
  
A dark-haired woman in a small, Stereotypical-French-Maid-Outfit (tm) bustled in immediately. "Yes, mighty champion, what do you wish of me. I am all yours."   
  
_Heh. Mighty champion, she called me._ "Well, Bidel, I need some help thinking through things. I mean, I'm BRILLIANT at solving problems, but I need someone to bounce ideas off of."   
  
She sat next to him and stroked his arm, "Oh, you ARE smart, Monsieur. I'm good to bounce off of, mmmmm?" (DON'T KILL ME YET, I'M NOT DONE)   
  
"HEH HEH HEH! I happen to be a good bouncer myself, NYAHAHAHAHAAA!" Then Hercule sighed, "I don't know what to do concerning my daughter..."   
  
The maid looked up, eyes sharp, "Has anything happened to the POOR DEAR today?"   
  
"Yeah, there was an attempt for her kidnap, or something-"   
  
"DID IT SUCCEED?!"   
  
"No no, the fools were no match for her, and the guns were melting or something. Anyway-"   
  
The maid growled, "Now why-?"   
  
Mr. Satan looked down stupidly. "Huh?"   
  
"Nothing, you handsome devil you. Go on, what do you need? Tell me, I'll do ANYTHING for you."   
  
Fortunately, Hercule was denser than iron, to both hints. (Val, not a word) "Well, I worry about her a lot. She's MY daughter, and while she's certainly strong, she's threatened by her own celebrity status. Because of my incredible strength, and money, people may try and kidnap her for priviliges and money. "   
  
The maid cooed, "Ooooh, yes, she is in danger, every day. I'm surprised she hasn't all ready been captured."   
  
"And...and then there's her high school. I KNOW how teenage boys think, and, as strong as she is, they may twist their way into using her, getting what they want, and leaving her. I don't want her hurt like that, or have MY pristine reputation as a father be destroyed."   
  
"Well, muscle-monster, I personally would put stricter measures on her...to keep her out of harm's way, of course. Maybe she should stay here and be home-schooled, so you could keep an eye on her."   
  
But for once, in a very rare spectacle of thoughtfullness, Mr Satan stood up and shook his head. "No. I don't want to do that to her yet. She does like school a lot, and I want her to be as strong as I someday in the distant future. As hard as that'll be, NYA HAH HAH HAH."   
  
Bidel stood up, trying not to look angry. "Well, that's your choice, sugar. Be warned though, the consequences could be more than this is worth. Remember that."   
  
Once again, Satan was about as intuitive as the average crowbar, so he didn't pick up the veiled threat. Bidel glided out, her look of fawning melting instantly into one of fury. She marched off to her room on the top floor, and radioed Mai angrily.   
  
"This is Agent Mai, who is this."   
  
"It's AnimeDevilBidel, idiot. Tell the little MASTERMIND that so far, everything has gone wrong."   
  
Mai's voice cracked like a whip. "What happened!"   
  
Bidel crushed one of Hercules many, many trophies angrily. "Our abduction failed MISERABLY, first off. Now the girl's on her gaurd, and I'm certain that the blonde brat accompanies her."   
  
"How do you know?"   
  
"Apparently, all the insides of our men's guns mysteriously 'melted'. I heard some fat, pompous butler blubbering to the MAN of the house, and apparently, there's a tall blonde that accompanies her."   
  
"Do we have a visual of him now?"   
  
"Yeah. We think he has long blonde hair, narrow eyes, and a rather muscular build. Like I said, he's tall as well."   
  
"Well, how about Hercule Satan! Has he given in yet?"   
  
"No. Don't even MENTION that slobbering idiot's name to me, it's bad enough that I have to be a mistress to him. He has a lot of muscle,, but one decent fighter could probably level the moron. Anyway, the guy's gullible and fawning towards me, but he's as stupid as a rock when it comes to suggestive undertones, and...."   
  
"And?"   
  
"He's trying to be a 'good father', and he wouldn't hear of keeping HER at the estate. That girl, by the way, IS a threat. She's a better fighter than we thought, and about 5 times as intelligent as her moronic father."   
  
"Hmmmmm.....well, stay there and keep working on Hercule. Pilaf's brooding over something or another that may or may not be useful to us. Contact me tomorrow."   
  
Bidel sighed and threw the radio down in disgust. Why had she agreed so easily to be a subordinate? She sat down and brooded, moodily. There had to be a better way than this.   
  


* * *

  
Videl tried to break her senses free of the lancing pain coursing all around her body. Half opening her eyes, she discovered she was in complete freefall, seemingly miles away from the cliff, and would hit the ground at approximately 168.46 miles an hour. Her clothes, her brand new black jeans and white sweater, were torn and frayed, leaving nasty burns, and a rock fragment had bruised her shoulder. The fall was too high, she'd die for sure THIS time. (or will she?) Strange, but the last thought that struck her mind was that of some person reading a story predicting exactly what would happen next in an overdramatic scene. (suspense)   
  
**WHUMP!** She opened her eyes. She wasn't dead, wasn't even hurt. Oh, she was still falling....slower. Then the pair of smooth, bulky arms clasping extremely nervously to her chest told it's own story. "It's YOU again, isn't it!" She shouted over the wind. Great, saved by HIM again.   
  
The figure uttered a short, but familiar, "Y-yes...just passing through...."   
  
Videl looked up and saw the same turqouise eyes, and the same wild blonde hair. On a very familiar face. They were still falling. Short sentences good. "You know, I DON'T need to be saved all that often! Are you stalking me or what?"   
  
"B-but you were-"   
  
"Besides, where were you during that fi-"   
  
SPLUUUUUURRRRCH! Gohan, failing to slow down much in his nervousness, felt the breath woosh out of his system. Though he landed heavily in the tar (damn, how unlucky), the delicate vase in his grasp was hardly hurt. He felt himself sinking, and hastily made a light Ki shield underneath him to prevent sumbmersion. Having done so, he decided to try and start breathing again. Videl sat up and tried to catch her own breath, but the mind-numbling painful ache in her ribs made this impossible.   
  
Videl sighed and leaned back, turning her head to rest her cheek above his shoulder. "I suppose we'll sink now. Though, wait, last time I said I'd die, I made a fool of myself, DIDN'T I, 'GOLD FIGHTER'."   
  
"*wheeze* N-n-no, you didn't...and no, we won't sink....here, let's get out of this mess."   
  
Videl turned on her side to yell at him, and finally (dear god, she really isn't THAT stupid) recognized who he was. She gasped aloud and accidentally slipped off of him, falling into the sludge. For a frightening second, Gohan couldn't see her anymore. He sat up quickly, sinking a little.   
  
"V-Videl!?"   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" A black little something clambered back on top of him shaking uncontrolably, spiting tar out of her mouth. "O-oh god....ugh h-h-AAUuugck..." She started coughing uncontrollably. Beginning to get worried, he turned her to face him. "Y-You ok? Just spit it all-"   
  
Then she leaned over and coughed up a huge gob of mud on his shirt. Grimacing, he pulled her by the waist over to one side of him, and pat the black, lumpy figure on the back as she spat out more. She kept this up for what seemed like hours, until she finally forced her mouth shut, trembling uncontrollably. Gohan mumbled extremely worriedly, "A-are you ok now? I-I'm s-sorry, my g-grip was bad."   
  
"O-*cough*-oh shut up. C-c-c-come on, let's get out of *cough* this filth. This has *cough* got to be the worst day of my l-life."   
  
Gohan released himself from the tar with a pop, and flew her up to a little cove on the cliff face. After carrying her to the cave in the cliff, he placed her delicately on the floor, and sat himself at the other end. Busying himself in cleaning off his face, he wondered exactly how stupid he looked right about then, and why Videl could still make him nervous when she was plastered in tar. He looked with disgust at his shirt and began to consider burning it to rid himself of the stench. Using some moss growing on the ledge, he wiped his hands as clean as possible, then ripped a chunk of it for his face.   
  
Videl peeled off her ruined gloves and glared at poor Gohan as she began to regain a bit of her strength. _Bastard. Even covered in tar he's still good-looking. Lord, I must look like a monster._ Then she remembered WHY she had fallen in the first place, and her eyes narrowed again. Suddenly, she felt much healthier, and had completely forgotten Gohan's patience and concern from earlier. She idled up to him while he scraped sludge and ash off his face. "You know....with that tar in your hair, you look an AWFUL like this one kid I know, oh, what's his name again...?"   
  
Gohan sighed and bowed his head, staring fixedly at his knees. "Yeah, I'm Gohan, I WAS with you at that fight earlier today. Videl...please believe me, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wanted to avoid being arrested, or putting my family in an uncomfortable position, or having you and the others hate me or be afraid of me..."   
  
Videl pursed her lips, kind of half listening. "Yes, now I remember. Your mom DID mention your name once, I was just too pissed to listen properly. Must've been a fool not to see all the signs earlier. Your nervousness whenever Eliza brought up that fiasco at the mall, magic jamming guns, "crow watching" when you were really about to fly, that damn grounder you hit off of my fastball. Huh, well, now that all makes sense. You must not've been as smart as I thought if you believed you could hide it from me for very long."   
  
He wished the ground would swallow him whole, and looked mournfully at his boots. "I-I'm sorry"   
  
Videl looked at him and sighed. He looked so completely ashamed of himself, for something so stupid, that she couldn't find it in her heart to actually be mad at him. "Gohan....I'm sorry, forget what I just said. I was in a bad mood that day, my dad really gets to me sometimes, and you and your brother just caught me at a bad time, all right? I'm not going to beat you up, or humiliate you, or turn you in, or let my dad destroy you, or tell the world. Come on, Gohan, chin up, I'm not that mad, honestly. I overeacted, as usual."   
  
Gohan slowly brought his face up in surprise. Had Videl just apologized? Could he actually keep going to school with her? "Y-you're not angry any more? I-I really am sorry about-"   
  
"No. No, I'm not mad any more, I don't think I really was. *sighs* You must think I'm the biggest spoiled brat on earth, being so dense and mean about all of that."   
  
His smile beamed like the rising sun. "No I don't, Videl! You're a real nice person, you're just grumpy a lot, that's all!"   
  
She narrowed her eyes, not sure if she had just been complimented or not. But the smile he gave her, and the completely genuine note of sincerity in his voice, couldn't keep a little smile off her face.   
  
Gohan leaned back and sighed in relief, "I thought you'd-"   
  
"Try to beat you senseless?"   
  
"W-well.....yeah."   
  
She laughed, and pinched his cheek, watching him flinch with amusement. "Come on Gohan, even **_I_** couldn't hold a real grudge against you for very long. You're far too kind-hearted to hold grudges against, you bastard. But I would still like something from you, and I do want to..-"   
  
**BOOOOOOOOM!**An explosion rocked the cliff face, and all of a sudden, the entire situation at hand came back in a flash. Videl sat up instantly. "Oh my god! Sharperner! Eliza! That robot'll...!"   
  
Grimacing, Gohan flipped to his feet. Then he groaned and flopped his arms back to his sides. "Oh no. Why is Vegeta, of all people, HERE? AGAIN? Has he started following me everywhere or something? I thought I told him to-!"   
  
Videl growled, "I HAVEN'T forgiven THAT guy. I'll show him 'little whelp.' I'll 'little whelp' my foot up his ass! UUUUUUURGH!"   
  
Gohan tried to reason with her lightly, "Um, remember he can make explosions...a fight with him is BAD. I don't reccomend it. In fact, I remember this one time, about 9 years back...."   
  
She puffed up bad-temperedly and plopped herself in his arms, clasping them around her waist.   
  
Gohan blinked, and his face flushed confusedly. "Um, V-v-v-videl, w--w--w-what are you-?"   
  
Videl slowly rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, "What do you THINK, Gohan? (heh heh) Should I climb or tunnel my way out? Fly us out....PLEASE. Oh, and could you change your hair and eyes back?"   
  
Gohan nodded confusedly, "Ok, but, why?"   
  
Videl snorted, "I have an image to keep, I'm still supposed to be mad at you, remember?. Besides, you're a living legend right now, you'd have people all over you in a second for an autograph or to kill you or something."   
  
Gohan switched back to his normal form, and she silently wondered how he could do that. Gohan was wondering exactly how any one person could be so completely and utterly unpredictable.   
  
Videl sighed contentedly, though softly enough to not be heard. Even covered in muck, shoulder aching, and mouth tasting likea sewer rat had crawled in and died, Videl was stunned at the beauty and freedom of flight. It was a quick flight to the top, so she took advantage of the time she had, and drank it all in. She unconsciously settled herself more comfortably, and curled her fingers lazily around the side of Gohan's hand. Gohan, naturally, was too worried about Vegeta to have noticed yet.   
  
Videl kind of wished they could just keep flying for a while, and glared at the top of the cliff as if it were to blame. Floating in midair wasn't something that happened every day. Then, a brilliant idea suddenly struck her, and she started giggling to herself gleefully. Gohan glanced down somewhat confusedly. _Hope that explosion hasn't hurt her head or anything...Videl giggling is a natural impossibility..._   
  
Then he overheard the familiar, pompous, arrogant, teeth-grinding voice of 'The Prince'.   
  
"WOMAN, what's the POINT of this 'family outing' if I can't play around a little!? You never yell at TRUNKS for playing! Trunks likes to fight, don't you, brat!"   
  
A calm little voice was heard, "Yes, Fighting is good, I love twaining with my motha facker daddy and suppasin brat-o-kakorotty."   
  
Vegeta smirked. "SEE? Boy speaks the words of reason."   
  
Bulma snorted, "Daddy IS a 'motha facker', you're right. How dare you teach your son that language!"   
  
"Why, yes I am, aren't I. I'm quite good at facking motha's, aren't I, SWEETY."   
  
Videl shuddered. Hearing HIM say sweety was possibly the most frightening thing she'd ever heard.   
  
Bulma was not so easily unnerved, "I don't want you swearing like a 'true warrior' around our son, he's growing up respectable, which is more than I can say for YOU. You don't even take out the damn trash, let alone actually GET A JOB."   
  
Vegeta roared, "I'm training MY son to be a fighter, and there's abosultely NOTHING you're going to do about it! I swear, if you weren't my woman I'd---I'd--!"   
  
Bulma screamed so loud that even Vegeta stepped back. "**_Destroying the visitor's center and the entire forest by hurling some huge metal ball with arms through it IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TRAINING FOR MY SON!!_** *huff puff* I don't mind you saving the people around here, but you could've just blown the damn thing up! Oh look, *insert metal grinding nosies* Trunks is throwing our BRAND NEW car around into the rubble now, just like his dear daddy. How CUTE. By the way, if you EVER call me WOMAN again at any time tonight, you'll be eating home-cooked Applebees steaks for a week, and sleeping in the 25th geust room!"   
  
Vegeta grimaced, "The one with..."   
  
"Yeah, THAT one."   
  
"Where that moron Roshi...."   
  
"Yup."   
  
The saiyajin boy finally managed to form a perfectly straight face. He started to walk forward, but immediately froze like a deer in headlights. Videl had something of an iron grip on his hand. Coughing embarassedly, he turned to Videl, who was listening to the argument in astonishment. _They yell louder than my dad and I do...that's impossible...._   
  
"Um....Videl-kun? Eeeh...heh...I need to go stop Vegeta from destroying things..."   
  
She looked down at his hand, which was now firmly held in place by her left hand, and encircled around her right. Then she smirked at him, "What'll you pay me for it."   
  
He blinked blankly. "....h-huh?"   
  
Vegeta, however, detected Gohan's Ki approaching and turned to meet him. "Why hello there Mini-Kakarot, trouble follows you everywhere, doesn't it? Smell does too, apparently. Hmmm, hope I'm not interrupting anything important; you and that weakling whelp over there look like you've had some fun in one of these mud pits." He neatly avoided a cuff from his fiery wife.   
  
Viudel's face blared purple, but Gohan's voice had an uncharacteristicly icy tone that stung harder than anything she could have shouted. "Oh yes. So tell me, how many people did you kill this time, while you were playing around with the robot? You think you could do even more to inform the world that you can do 'tricks?' Maybe we can hold a press conference! Should we put up banners? Vegeta, bulldozing holes through the forest is BAAAAAAAD."   
  
Vegeta snorted, "Don't be stupid boy. After the pizza-delivery incident, my DEAR wife threatened to take away certain 'privliges' if I killed another human without 'reason'. Not that I care for these scurrying little fools, or what a 'tip' is. And quite frankly, I could not possibly care less that the world knows what I can do. Oh, And if you ever speak to me that way again, there'll be hell to pay, boy."   
  
Gohan smirked, and his eyes narrowed deeply. "Right Vegeta. Just go on and try defeating 'brat o' kakarotty', someday. We'll see what happens." Videl blinked. THIS didn't sound like Gohan at all....   
  
He snarled, but lowered his eyes. Suddenly, he turned and glared straight at Videl, and even she felt herself cringing under the fierce stare. "You. Whelp. Be careful. The robot was apparently waiting for you and your buffoon of a father when we showed up."   
  
He turned back to Gohan. "I suppose a couple of your weakling friends were carried off to those primitive 'Hospitals', since they were calling out you and the girl's name. Anyway, speaking of weaklings, I need to carry my miserable excuse for a mate and my own whelp home. If you see that demon-spawn mother of yours, Chichi, tell her that **I** didn't steal any of Kakarot's damn training equipment." Without another word, he flew off, carrying Bulma and a giggly Trunks in his broken air-car, arguing furiously with his wife.   
  
Gohan was shocked. "That's the closest thing to a compliment I've ever heard him give someone, Videl!"   
  
"What do you mean? He called me a **WEAKLING WHELP!**"   
  
"Yes, but not a FOOLISH weakling...whelp. That's what he called me for about 6 years, until I was 11. Is he actually going SOFT?"   
  
"But-but-but he called me a whelp, AGAIN! He called his wife a Miserable Mate! He calls his own SON-!"   
  
"Yes yes, he uses harsh vocabulary. Don't worry, if he actually thought you were weak, you'd be called 'idiot' or 'whelp-maker'."   
  
VIdel practically screeched. **_"WHELP MAKER?!?!?!?!?!"_**   
  
"*wince* But he didn't, he didn't! He's just calling you a child."   
  
**_"I AM NOT A CHILD!"_**   
  
"*wince* Hey, hey, compared to him, you are. He's nearly forty years old."   
  
Videl stared at him in disbelief. "THAT guy is almost FORTY? He can't be over 25!"   
  
"Um....he ages well, I geuss. I don't actually think he's as angry with everyone as he used to be, but admiting that would be a FATAL weakness."   
  
"Huh.....hey, wait a sec. What did you do when you were eleven that would make HIM shut up? That's about 3 years ago, isn't it?"   
  
Gohan mentally kicked himself. "I..fought him. He lost...."   
  
Videl knew he was lying, he was a terrible liar, but she decided not to push it. She was pretty sure Gohan couldn't be as strong as that guy, he must be holding a secret over his head or something. But Gohan couldn't possibly be capable of blackmail....oh well, none of her business. Glancing around, she noticed that the ambulances had already come and gone; they must've been down in the muck a lot longer than she thought. And lord, how long had those two been arguing?   
  
Finally realizing that she had been holding Gohan's hand through the entire argument, she let it flop back to his side, a pinch regretfully. Checking her watch, she gasped. "Oh SH*****T! I was supposed to be home an hour ago!"   
  
Gohan flinched as Videl pointed a sharp finger at him. "Ok, so it's too late for anything more now, and my dad probably won't let me out of the house until next weekend. But Friday, restrictions or no restrictions, I want to see you after school for a while."   
  
Gohan nodded without thinking. "Um, ok. Uh, what do you want to do next weekend?"   
  
Videl smiled sweetly at him, eyes narrowed, and he was suddenly very afraid. "I'll tell you Friday." Without another word, she simultaneously flipped over his head, threw down a capsule, and landed in the seat. She flew off, smirking to herself. Gohan blinked.   
  
After five minutes of a failed attempt to sort things out, the young Saiyajin started to glide home, corner of his mouth twitching nervously. _Man, girls are even WIERDER than I thought....whoa, deja vu._   
  
  
_To be continued....._

* * *

  
What's Videl's request? (Don't be perverted) What sort of new plan will Pilaf initiate? What happened to Colonel Mustard. Why isn't he searching for Ms Scarlet in the living room with the lead pipe? And furthermore, who is this AnimeDevilBidel? Is there any possibility of Gohan understanding girls? (THAT'd be a hero) Stay tuned, Ja Ne! 


	6. The Devil Project, or, DBZ: Endless Duel

This sucked. Stuck in his room, bored to death, and hungry. VERY HUNGRY.   
  
"....I don't CARE what happened, you RUINED your new clothes! Look at your shirt!"   
"But Mom, there was a-!"   
  
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME! Oooooh, what am I going to DO with you!"   
  
"But-!"   
  
Hehe, onichan made himself all mucky. Clothes were brownish-black, he looked like a dry slime-monster or somethin. Mommy didn't like it though. At all. Well, HE thought it was funny. But HE hadn't done anything wrong, why'd he have to go to his room? So what if he jumped on Gohan and got a little dirty himself?   
  
Goten laid stomach down on his bed, face puffed up in his small hands, pouting mutinously. This didn't make any sense. Why would okassan be mad at Onichan, and more importantly, why she couldn't cook while arguing. Yeah, so he was dirty and stuff. HE got dirty too. Quite often.   
  
Goten growled, slipping his face into his hands deeper. Why'd Gohan get it so easy! HE got a BATH when he got dirty, with water and splashing and usually a few destroyed trees, and THAT HORRID, EVIL stinging foamy stuff slopped in his hair, in his ears, up his nose, in his mouth, all over his eyes......   
  
But that wasn't particularly important. No, right now, the stomach was begging the brain to put ANYTHING in his mouth, and when his Hercule Smash-Em Toy started looking good, he needed to eat. His little mind worked feverishly to find a way to end the shoopid argument about mud. Mud....   
  
His eyes brightened up happily. He knew EXACTLY what to do! And Gohan thought HE was the smartest-est!   
  
Taking a large green sand bucket from under his bed, giggling and snickering the whole time, he poured out the dirt from the cage with the baby dinasour and baby snake inside. A lot of it got on the floor, but that would keep Mr. Snake and Mr. Dinasour happier anyway. Ah, all empty now!   
  
He looked at the pile of dirt in the bucket, and frowned. This wasn't it. Something was missing. Something important.   
  
Goten sat down with his legs crossed, glaring accusingly at the dirt for a while. What was wrong with it?   
  
  
OH! It wasn't WET. Wet was needed for mud. In a brilliant deduction, he realized that, because mud only appeared in rain, rain was needed for mud.   
  
But this presented another problem. It WASN'T raining outside, and the sink was downstairs. He didn't want to ruin the surprise.   
  
Crud.   
  
Then he remembered the fishbowl in the hallway and brightened. That had wet water in it! Scooping out Mr. fish with a cup, he poured all the rest of the water into the mixture, except the toy castle. He'd keep that.   
  
Goten deeply pondered the effectiveness and perfection of his expirement, twirling it, and tasting a little in his mouth. Spitting it out hastily, he concluded gleefully that the solution was perfect.   
  
Although the bucket was almost as big as he was, his unusual strength allowed him to lift it with relative ease. Unfortuantely, it was held in such a way that he had hard time seeing where he was going. Some small amounts of the carefully contrived solution slopped onto the stairs. Placing the bucket in the next room, he skipped out into the kitchen, smiling 'innocently'.   
  
Gohan sat in a chair staring at the wall, looking like he wanted to slam his head into it repeatedly. Chichi was about to continue her speech, when she saw Goten slip into the room.   
  
"Goten, sweety, please stay in your room until I'm done talking with your DEAR brother!"   
  
Gohan glanced at him, and Goten gave him a wink. Heehee, why'd Gohan look so nervous all of a sudden. This is going to help him!   
  
"Well momma, I'm kinda hungry-"   
  
"As usual."   
  
"Real Hungry. Staaawving, actooaly."   
  
"Yes that's ni-"   
  
"So I thinks, maybe I should end the aguumant Make everywone HAPPY. I figger that we all needs to be peequal, that'll stop the aguument."   
  
Now Gohan looked visibly ill, kinda like he had a frog in his stomach or something. Mommy looked kind of confused too. "What on earth are you talking about, Goten?"   
  
Giggling, he ran into the other room, grabbed the bucket, ran back, and hurled the contents of it all over his mom.   
  
"See, now EVEYWON is muddy!.....mom?....mommy?....hee..heehee...*gulp*...."   
  


* * *

  
Videl was at this moment making a good show of sulking in her room, but she was rather surprised as well. She thought for sure that her Dad would take her out of school, or lock her in a safe, or something stupid like that. But he actually, honest to god, THOUGHT for once, and realized that she needed school. If not for the education, for the fact that'd she die of boredom and loneliness. Being rich and famous sucked in that way.   
  
Then she grit her teeth. That new maid of his kept trying to convince him that it was unsafe for her to go to school. Oh, how she HATED that woman, she was trying to become a mistress of HER father. She'd actually convinced him to send a bodygaurd with her to school. What a load of bull. If they were doing ANYTHING at night, there'd be hell to pay.   
  
She sighed, and laid her head down on the pillow. There would be time to think later-   
  
**"KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **   
  
She shot up, frightened out of her mind. "D-DAD!?"   
  
Hercule zoomed into her room and huddled into a ball. "Videl, it's all right! I'm h-h-h-here now. P-probably just a bird or something."   
  
"What sord of bird makes THAT kind of sound, dad! It sounded like some horrible, inhuman scream!"   
  
"I don't know honey, I d-d-don't know."   
  
Both sat shivering, though Videl did her best to hide it. The sound did not return, though in her imagination she thought she heard wet, muffled cries and desperate pleas for mercy and death.   
  


* * *

  
Emporer Pilaf popped out of his bed, pulling up his Nightcap, screeching. "WHAT WAS THAT!?! ARE WE BEING ATTACKED?"   
  
Shao hid under his pillow, while Mai blazed to the main computer, hurling a shivering grunt out of the seat. "I don't see anything sire!"   
  
Pilaf shivered and curled himself up in his blanket. "Well keep watch, both of you. I trust this pack of buffoons around me about as much as I trust four convicted criminals with a sack of money. Why don't these fools keep better gaurd? And what was the point of the story switching over here?"   
  


* * *

  
Gohan stumbled up to his school the following monday, ears bright pink and hair shining like a black waxed Corvette. He swore to himself that he would never, ever, make his kids wash their hair for an ENTIRE DAY. Or, for all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, ever-   
  
"Hey, Gohan, you all right?"   
  
He forced his eyes to straighten on the shapely form in front of him, who was holding some ice to her shoulder. "My mom....wasn't very happy about the tar..."   
  
Videl smirked, "Nor my Dad, but at least he didn't make me wax my hair off. Have you seen Sharperner and Eliza yet?"   
  
As if on cue, both rushed up to meet them. Surprisingly, despite the ferocity of the explosion, neither were hurt besides a few bruises, and a nasty scratch on Sharperner's forehead. Eliza ran up to Videl in relief. "We heard about everything! I swore I saw you fly over the cliff or something, I thought you'd be killed!" *insert traditional chick-flick crying-in-relief scene*   
  
Sharperner muttered, and gingerly touched the large scratch on his head. "Well, least we're all somewhat ok."   
  
Eliza giggled, "Gohan looks ok, at least. Jeez, the glare off your hair is blinding though."   
  
Gohan reddened, "Eheh....yeah. Mom was VERY unhappy about the state I was in when I got home. Course my little brother didn't help very much....though I don't thing he at ALL deserved such a horrible-"   
  
Videl smiled benignly. "Know what you mean. Yeah, I WAS falling off that cliff, then the 'Gold Fighter' caught me. But, naturally, he fell into the pit afterwards, clumsy fool that he was. You hear about this, Eliza?"   
  
The boy gave her a pitiful, pleading look. But, of course, she and the blonde fell to discussion of the various ups and downs of his looks, his voice, his personal hygiene, the exact amount of hay it would take to make a nest as big as his hair, etc etc.   
  
Sharperner sighed as the bell rang, "Well, back to class I suppose.   
  
Videl shouldered her bag and started up to the classroom. "Hey, Eliza, Gohan, Sharperner, did any of you guys hear that huge bird screech saturday night?....."   
  


* * *

  
Over the course of the week, a massive buildup of Bad Things were promising to make everything a jolly old mess. Pilaf and his undersecretaries were collecting the dragonballs, albiet slowly. Mark's somewhat irrational hatred of Gohan was growing by the day. Mr Satan still didn't have his pony.   
  
And Gohan was probably going to break down and cry if Videl teased him anymore about what she wanted to do that friday.   
  
That Friday, to be exact, Videl was taunting him outrageously, while Eliza giggled in the background, though she didn't understand what was going on. "I don't know, Gohan, I'm looking forward to it. A pound of your flesh...no wait...that's the Merchant of Venice. I need to think of something more orignial...."   
  
Gohan had by this point given up on persuading her to show mercy. Fortunately, he was finally getting the hang of not blushing whenever she said anything......sort of. Of course, Social Health and Home Economics was not exactly the preffered class to end the day on, since he'd be working constantly with her.   
  
Unbeknowst to either, Ann Alogy was taking gossip notes. This'd make her Queen Gossip if she was careful enough. Something inside her, however, seethed. If this WAS a date, then she'd have to be quicker in catching Gohan. Despite preening herself constantly over mirrors, hours of makeup and hair preparation, and numerous thinly veiled invitations, he hadn't noticed her at all, besides the occasional confused glance. Usually she'd just move on, since this one was so dense, but some sick-minded deity (*whistles innocently*) was affecting her personality in such a way as to make her persist in her chase.   
  
She WAS the complete try-to-break-up-favorite-couple-girl (TM), and she vowed to make him notice her, in a BIG way. She quckly assigned some lackeys to pass up a Personally Signed Movie Group Date Invitation. It reached the last carrier in the space of a minute via a complicated web of passing, but then the teacher walked in, and the gust of wind from the door blew it under the stairs.   
  
Mr. Forrester strode up, an cheerful smile on his face. The entire classroom hushed fearfully, Mr. Forrester smiling meant a new project. In fact, Mr Forrester smiling cheerfully was something they had never even xeen before. Which was bad.   
  
"Well, children, you've finally gotten your cooking skills to the point at which I can IDENTIFY the food, so now....we're going to start handing out the robotic children early this year."   
  
A massive groan of despair echoed around the classroom. Mr. Forrester continued, smiling. "These children are very advanced, created and manufactured personally by the Capsule Corporation. They're ALMOST lifelike, especially in the way that they wake you up at LEAST 8 times in the middle of the night. For this weekend, you will be working at eachother's homes. You have tonight, Saturday, and Sunday, and you must have gone to BOTH houses. Don't ask why, it's for me to know." (How convenient)   
  
Videl banged her head hard on her desk.   
  
"Now....Ms Satan, enlighten me, what are you doing?"   
  
"I'm banging my head on the desk," she said matter-of-factly, not stopping.   
  
"Why? Is it one of those prestige things?"   
  
Gohan looked a little hurt. Videl snapped, "No, because my DAD is going to have a fit if I bring ANYONE back to the houe! .....Oh god, sorry, my temper got the better of me."   
  
The rest of the class snickered, and Mr. Forrster didn't look the least bit ruffled. "I feel so sorry for you. Your Dad can speak to me if he wants, but I won't change an assignment, not even for him. Now, this brings me to the point I was TRYING to reach. These documents explain the situation, you give them to the proper gaurdian."   
  
Videl sighed, and whispered to Gohan, "Hey, listen, we'll go to my house tonight, so you don't have to stay so long."   
  
"Uh, ok!"   
  
Then she smirked, "Oh, and your not getting out of our little deal."   
  
".....*mumble*if I run fast enough*mumble*"   
  
"What?"   
  
"eheheh, nothing, nothing."   
  
She eyed him suspiciously, but turned her head back as Mr. Forrester explained how the babies worked. "Now, you have to either hold them like so, or put them on their back. If you abuse them or hold them wrong, it'll cry for about an hour, and it'll be recorded. When they cry for food, you'll have this cute little bottle to hold to their mouths. Finally, if they want to be played with, you have to give them a rattle and hold it there for about 10 minutes. Oh, and the baby's actually produce *ahem* bodily waste, so you'll have to change their diaper a few times."   
  
Everyone in the room simultaneously banged their heads on the desks.   
"Since there's no P.E. today, and I have nothing else to teach you, you are excused early. Pick up your baby, equipment, and sheet on your way out."   
  


* * *

  
The empress glared daggers at the hateful little bundle in her arms, and was glad that most of the class had to endure this hell too. But why did so many of the other girls have to act so babyish around the...whatever the hell they are! They're little robots, DESIGNED for torture. Real children would be much different than THIS. (Not)   
  
The hallway was nearly empty as she stomped her way down to Gohan's locker. He had already finished all of his other homework during Lunch, and was somewhat pleased with himself. Then he turned, saw the girl approaching him, and paled rapidly. Videl+Bad Mood=The Devil. "Uh...r-ready to go?"   
  
Videl kicked his locker door, cracking it down the middle. "DAMN THIS THING! Oh, yeah, I'm warning you, my dad may try to kill you before I give him the reason for this stupid *Y%@ing assignment. LOOK AT THIS THING! IT'S SATAN! SAAAATTTTTAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!"   
  
A little baby doll head was thrust up against his nose. Now that he thought about it, it did kind of look like it was laughing at him. "Maybe we could just-"   
  
"NO! I'm going to teach father that he can't control EVERYTHING over me!"   
  
"But maybe we could-!"   
  
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!"   
  
Gohan buttoned his lip, and, on a whim, took up a powerful 'babyishly submissive face'. Videl started to feel guilty, and squirmed a bit. She lowered her voice grumpily. "Sorry, sorry. What were you going to say?"   
  
The boy smiled, mentally noting her semi-weakness. "I was thinking, maybe you could call him and explain it to him, so you don't get in trouble and I don't have a gun barrel shoved up my nose."   
  
Videl glowered at him, "You know, you're too f*cking smart for your own good!" She took out her watch-phone and began to call home. Gohan blinked, not knowing if he had just been complimented or cursed at.   
  
Suddenly, the girl yelled at him again, "Get out of here! I don't want you to hear this, it's embarassing!"   
  
"E----ok.....I'll go use the bathroom or something."   
  
Gohan didn't really need to go, so he washed his hands and face, reading the decades old graffiti all over the walls. Intelligent folks such as Pimp-o-Rama Peter, Jello-Vat Matt, and I-Got-A-Big-One Ron had left their highly balued signatures behind for all future generations to enjoy. While pondering this, his keen hearing picked up bits and peices of Videl's conversation, mainly slow, simple words. Then, to his mild surprise, he heard what had to be some sord of huge dinosaur bellowing, followed by earthquake tremmors.   
  
Then there was silence. (A/N: Just a thought. What if, during the 5(0,000,000) minute battle between Goku and Freeza, one of them had to use the bathroom. You know, it seems odd how NONE of these guys EVER have to use the damn bathroom during an epic battle. Sorry...I'll shut up now.)   
  
Videl was smirking to herself, and turned to face Gohan as he slipped back down the hallway. "Heh, it went great. He's furious about it, but he can't interfere with the project." Her voice got serious, "Still, be warned. There's this ....MAID that works closely with my Dad. I don't think she's going to let you in very easily. Don't worry, I've organized a pincer strategy in secret with Percy, he'll be there to take the brunt of the blows. Other than that, just stay calm and let me handle things."   
  
"Uh...ok...."   
  
Videl eyed him, "So, unless you start handling me, like the dirty, *snicker* perverted person that you are, we shouldn't have any problems once we *phht* get in, hmm? *phhhhhhhhhhhtttt snick snick*" She couldn't keep a straight face at all.   
  
He turned his head down hastily. "H-have I been doing something-?"   
  
Confusing Gohan even more, she started forcing down laughter. "*phhht* Gohan, it's *pheehee* SARCASM. As in, verbal *phaha* irony!"   
  
"Oh..ok, I mean, just tell me if I'm being rude...."   
  
She finally forced down the snickering fits and smiled at him, "I sincerely doubt that'll ever happen. Now then, let's find a place to take off from so we can fly home."   
  
"Now hold on just one minute there," a high-pitched, whiny voice floated from down the hallway. It was Ann *uh oh*.   
  
Videl and Gohan blinked in unison. Ann idled up, numerous blonde hair braids brushing repeatedly across her face. and walked airily up to the boy, ignoring Videl completely. "Hiiiii, Gohan, did you get my nooooote!?"   
  
He stammered a bit, and drew back. Ann wasn't exactly ugly, she was just what High Schoolers eloquently call a "bitch". "N-note? N-no."   
  
She snapped and glared daggers at Videl. "Of course you did! You're coming with me to the movies! BWAAAAHAHAAAA!"   
  
The other girl blinked, then her eyes narrowed. "Ann, we have WORK to do, give it a rest. Why don't you go try and catch Sharperner, he started running a while back."   
  
Ann gasped, "How DARE you! Gohan doll, let's get away from here, come on!"   
  
He looked confusedly at her. "Doll?...uh, I didn't get a note, and I'm supposed to work with Videl today, so...um..."   
Videl broke in, "He can't go. We have a great deal of work to do."   
  
She sneered, "So, you guys are making out already, huh?"   
  
Gohan spoke entirely innocently, "Making out? Never heard that expression.....What's-?"   
  
Videl put an arm on his shoulder. "Oh, I don't KNOW, Ann. We DO work together a lot! Gohan, we need to think about naming our BABY. You know, for PRACTICE."   
  
The shocked silence was interrupted by a much more nervous question. "Videl-san, what's making-?"   
  
She smiled benignly at Ann, "We need to get going now."   
  
Gripping the bewildered figure by the arm, Videl dragged Gohan down the hall. But the path was cut off.   
  
"That's not fair at all I had my eyes on his cute ass face first and I've dreamt about him since I first saw him and and and it's not FAIR and I'm going to make sure that both of you yes BOTH of you don't hear the end of it because I have the POWER to spread gossip so nyah nyah and eventually Gohan'll take me out on a date and go to a nice restaurant and french me and we'll go over to YOUR house Videl so you'll positively BURN in envy like the spoiled little bitch you are so you will fail in your plot and wow I can really talk forever without breathing and WHERE'D YOU GO GET BACK HERE I'M NOT DONE!"   
  
(I will admit wholeheartedly that I stole this idea from AAV. Just wanted to get that out of the way. IT WAS SO GOOD.)   
  


* * *

'   
Pilaf's reckoning draws nearer, but it won't fit well into this chapter. Just to let you know that the main plot marches on.   
  


* * *

  
Videl started gasping for air after about an hour of running, "I *huff* think she would've *puff* gone on FOREVER. We lost her, right?"   
  
Gohan stopped, not even remotely tired. "Hope so. I didn't understand half of what she was saying, but whatever it was, it was driving me crazy."   
  
"Let's just walk now, I don't think she followed us."   
  
"...hey Videl, what did she mean by 'French me?'"   
  
She stared at him in disbelief, "Are you serious?"   
  
"Yeah...?" She'd have thought it was a joke except for the completely blank look on his face.   
"Well..how to put this right....um....You ever see a movie couple kiss for a while? Yeah, that's it."   
  
".........but I don't want to do that. Why'd she say I would-?"   
  
"*sigh* Let's talk about this later."   
  
"Ok. So.....uh, what's maki-"   
  
"NOT NOW."   
  
Now out of range, she decided to reassert her authority in case Gohan started getting strange ideas, even though the thought was ludicrous. Besides, SHE didn't want to hold the devil-child.   
  
"All right, *thrust*, YOU get to hold it."   
  
"But.......Videl, I'll look-"   
  
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME! And the face won't work this time! There is not a CHANCE of me carrying that thing out in the open! I have an image, you know. No, don't give me that look, I'm ignoring you! *hum hum hum hum huuuum hum huuuum*"   
  
The streets bustled with crowds of busy people, most of them too preoccupied to care where the two were going. However, Gohan was getting some odd looks, and the odd snicker. Videl kept humming, droning out argument, so Gohan decided to try the tactic he'd learned from before. He dug deep into his arsenal of endearing faces and pulled out one of his best cute, pitiful, sad, pleading expressions. To complete the job, he focused both of his big, embarassed eyes mercilessly onto hers. Gloating internally over his own subtle power, he watched her determination crumble like a stale pound cake. Turning red in embarassment and guilt, she threw her arms up in the air.   
  
"Oh, FINE! **FIIIINE!!!!** Give it to me, right now, I'll take it! JUST STOP GIVING ME THE FACE! If you say ANYTHING you'll be eating the asphault! DO YOU HEAR ME!"   
  
Three very confused residents ran away quickly as she glowered about her, then focused on the infuriating boy beside her. Gohan nodded happily and put on an innocent (word of the day), relieved smile. Despite her efforts, she couldn't even find it in herself to make faces at him.   
  
_Damn him. He could charm a f*cking herd of beserk rabid rhinos with that babyish smile of his._   
  
Gohan threw out his mental note and made a full length mental novel. If used sparingly and effectively, it was possible to actually WIN arguments with her with this previously unknown talent.   
  
"Ah, here we go." Gohan had not noticed up till now where she was leading him. He looked around and saw that they had transversed past the edge of the city, where the forest lay untamed save for a single road. (Heh heh heh)   
  
"Now then, time for me to ask my favor of you, and you'd BETTER go through with it."   
  
He paled. He'd been looking forward to this about as much as someone looks forward to a flu shot. (shudder)   
  
She stood in a semi-dramatic pose, "I'm challenging you to a sparring match, once and for all. I want to see which one of us is stronger in a real duel. AND NO FACES!"   
  
Gohan groaned internally. She'd HATE him if he beat her too easily, and she could get hurt if he got carried away. Then again, he couldn't lose realisitcally. If she knew anything about fighting, she'd know he was faking it.   
  
Crud. (other word of the day)   
  
"Oh quit looking at me like that, I'm not exactly a weakling, bucko. You can even turn your hair gold, if you want."   
  
"N-no, that's fine. I don't like doing that much anyway. Kinda stresses the body, if you know what I mean. A-are you sure about this, I don't really wanna fight you-."   
  
"Oh hush up. Now, lemme think this through....if I win....you have to take the baby for both nights, and you have to fly me around for a while. If you win....you get a...um....hmmmmmm...."   
  
Gohan ventured, "You take the Baby?-"   
  
"No no no. There's not a chance of me taking the baby both nights..... I'll give you......a.....a....damn it this is hard.... How about I give you....a big dinner!"   
  
Gohan's face brightened up like a happy santa face holiday latern. "OK!"   
  
_Typical._ She put herself in her trained fighting stance, one arm covering her face, the other drawn back to her side. To prevent himself from looking arrogant, Gohan slid into his usual as well, and reminded himself a thousand times not to hit her, just to tire her out.   
  
"All right, ready?" she called.   
  
"Yeah, go ahead."   
  
She launched herself at him with a raised fist, and he was genuinely surprised at how fast she was. He drew his head back in a blur and hopskipped back.   
  
Nonplused She aimed a low sweeping kick, only to hit air as he seemed to vanish. Catching movement in the corner of her eye, she threw herself on her hands and kicked out rigidly, hitting the boy straight in the gut. Gohan stumbled back a step in shock, and she aimed a punch to his head. She only hit air, and felt herself lifted by an arm and thrown down the road. Catching herself somewhat clumsily, she hopped and spun around to face the elusive boy. A small smile hovered on his face. "That's great, you really do have amazing reflexes!"   
  
She smirked back at him, this wasn't over yet. "You're quick, but sooner or later I'm going to land a good one."   
  
Something resembling arrogance appeared on his face, and he folded back into his relaxed stance. She'd been cocky with him for far too long now. "Well, try to hit me then." This made her falter for a second. If he was this confident.....   
  
Nonetheless, she launched herself, creating a certified whirlwind of punches and kicks, none of them landing. She feinted a left, saw him dodge early, and then struck out with her right fist with all of her strength. Faked out, he was forced to catch it. Struggling mightily, she pushed him back a bit, and swung out with her other hand. Caught in a vise-grip as well, she tried to bulldoze him back, to no avail. She couldn't even pull him closer, in order to flip him. Great. She was stuck.   
  
Gohan was in disbelief, she was a LOT better than he had thought, especially considering her lack of ki control. There was plenty of bite for her bark.   
  
Videl was breathing heavily, and was getting irritated. Couldn't he at least ACT tired? "*huff* Your *puff* damn quick!" Then she remembered something. Something that worked to her advantage. "You can't bring yourself to hurt me, can you? Have trouble hitting girls, huh?"   
  
Gohan smiled confidently at her, the adrenaline rush awakening his saiyan insticts and destroying his usual shyness. For some odd reason, her heart missed a beat. "True, but...."   
  
He swept a foot under her, flipped her around, and pinned her on her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. He quickly pulled her arms out behind her back, and sat on her legs to keep her from kicking out. "I don't have to worry about hurting you too bad if I just pin you, right?"   
  
Videl growled angrily on the ground, but she knew it was over. She was positively astounded at how strong his grip was; no one with the possible exception of her father had been able to keep her in a lock at all. And why had he gotten so confident all at once....   
  
The fighting rush out of his system, Gohan suddenly realized what he was doing, and his face started to flush. "Uh....have I won yet....?"   
  
Her reply was slightly muffled by the grass, "Yeah, will you let the %&#@ go of me now?" He loosened his hold and stood up, and she immediately kicked out the legs from under him, sending him sprawling on his back. She sprang up to her feet, dusted herself off, and glared grumpily at Gohan. "Well, come on, get up! Don't think I need to mention this, but if you tell ANYONE that you beat me..."   
  
He swam backward in the grass, "I won't, I won't!"   
  
Sighing, Videl almost looked like she was pouting. "You're too damn strong for your own good. Come on then, we'll take the helicopter back."   
  
Gohan's eyes lit up, "And the food?!"   
  
Her eyes slid to the right. "Oh. Yeah. Right. Big Dinner. Food. Lots."   
  
The boy made little sounds of happiness and hopped up and down a little. She smirked lightly and threw out a capsule, revealing a small yellow helicopter she used for community service. Inspecting the interior, her voice came out flat. "Hold on a sec, Gohan, let me FIX something."   
  
Gohan blinked, and there was a sound of metal being torn apart. Videl took a small object that appeared to once have been a security camera and threw it into the woods. "Ok, NOW we can go."   
  
She turned to go, thought for a second, then turned back to a still-blinking Gohan. "Gohan....um...would you still take me flying this weekend? I haven't flown much before...without a helicopter, I mean..."   
  
He smiled brightly at her. "Sure, no problem."   
  
Videl brushed her hair back and allowed herself a smile. _He's so simple and kind-hearted. It's so HARD to be grumpy around him._ "Well, come on, let's go before my Dad undergoes massive Cardiac Arrest."   
  
"H-huh? O-oh yeah, sorry." He nervously slid over to the helicopter. For some reason, not being in control of his own flight made him feel vulnerable. Maybe if the machine weren't so small.....   
  
Then a somewhat humorous, somewhat frightening prospect hit him.   
  
What if Hercule recognized him?   
  
  
_To be continued...._

* * *

  
What will happen next? (Can there ever be a more generic question for a story?) Will the baby drive Videl and Gohan insane? Will Hercule RECOGNIZE Gohan? What happened to Pilaf's army? Can I think up anymore questions? Stay tuned! Um, bad news for you guys. Due to a rather stupid yet serious domestic crisis, I have been punished and banished from the computer for a while, probably three weeks. -_- I'll still be slowly typing up things in my spare time, so I'll have a chapter when I'm allowed back. But....sorry :(. MSN peoples, I'll be back as soon as possible. 


	7. The Holy Minifridge, or, Kuririn's Fatal...

It's quite amazing, actually, how something so simple could turn out to be the biggest mistake he had ever, ever, ever made that year.   
  
Oh, sure, it STARTED innocently enough. Actually, it hadn'tl, he had just been in a careless mood or something. Bulma had called him to ask if he could babysit over Trunks and Vegeta, since neither were capable of taking care of themselves, while she went to the Satan residence and discuss some sort of home security system or something. "Sure Bulma," he had said absently, "no problem."   
  
Then he put down the phone, realized what he had done to himself, and wept unashamedly.   
  
He needn't bother looking to his wife for sympathy, she gave him her usual There-could-not-be-anything-on-earth-I-could-possibly-care-less-about-than-your-problems-you-pathetic-waste-of-life glare, and went back to taking care of Marron. So he was forced to go alone and face an evening of intense pain and suffering at the hands of a demonic 3-year-old on three gallons of sugar. Well....at least Goten wouldn't be there.   
  
Kuririn sighed as he walked up to the giant house, scratching his smooth (no hair yet) head absently. He knew exactly how the evening would turn out, it was just WHAT would Trunks do and HOW would Vegeta mutilate him.   
  
Vegeta was in his training clothes as always when he threw the door open. "Hmph! About time you got here, the woman left a half an hour ago!" he said courteously. Then he stomped off again.   
  
The short man came in and took the house map, following the instructions carefully to the third second story kitchen. He knew the way from there. Coincidentally, the Briefs' family actually only took up a small part of the house. There was a room for each member of the family. Bulma liked the bedroom, Trunks liked the "Entertainment Center", known to everyone else as the "World's Largest Indoor Amusement Park," and Vegeta, of course, spent most of his time either eating in the kitchen or proving his princely might by training constantly to surpass his rival, who happened to be dead.   
  
He clenched his teeth and went down to play with Trunks, who was already thinking up new and fascinating ways of making messes and getting his babysitter killed. "Now now, T-trunks, let's not make pyramids with the vases your Daddy got for mommy when he was in some sort of deliriously good mood."   
  
A roar blew across the hallway, "WHAT WAS THAT, CUE-BALL?!!!"   
  
"Uh, I said I don't think we should make BASES with the new PILLOWS that your Daddy likes when he eats GOOD FOOD!"   
  
Silence from down the hall.   
  
Trunks pouted, "Why! The peermad took a long time to build!"   
  
"Well, if the pyramid falls, then your Daddy'll come out and beat Mr. Kuririn into a shapeless puddle. You wouldn't want that to happen, right sport?"   
  
"Hmmmmmm, actooaly, that'd be FUNNY!"   
  
He waved his hands desperately, "No NO, it WOULDN'T be funny! At ALL! Uh--um---er, Y-You'd have to train in the gravity room with him all night!"   
  
"ACK!!! NO!"   
  
_Good thinking Kuririn._ "All right, now let's clean all this up and play video games or something, whaddya say?"   
  
"Ok." Trunks shrugged in a serious manner, and swiped one of the vases out from the bottom. The whole pyramid came down in a heap, and the bald man was forced to dive and become a cushion. Trunks giggled in dignified yet babyish amusmant at the funny man's antics, and went to go look for more toys.   
  


* * *

  
"Videl-san, don't do that, please! PLEASE!"   
  
"Do what?" She took both hands off the control stick and laid them in her lap. "I don't know WHAT you're talking about!"   
  
"VIDEEEELLLLLLL!!!!!" Gohan curled himself up in a crash position for the 12th time, and Videl casually barrel-rolled through the limbs of the trees, coming out completely unscathed.   
  
"Oh quit whimpering, this is fun!"   
  
"I don't wanna die!!!" he whined piteously.   
  
She did a perfect flip around a low bridge and continued to gain speed. " Oh relax. Just think of that BIG FEAST you won that you'll get when we get to my house! That'll make you feel better."   
  
Gohan's face now had a greenish tinge to it. "G-great..."   
"Mashed potatoes, a pork roast, maybe some avacado, soda, heaps and heaps of it...mmmmm, doesn't that sound good."   
  
"...I don't...feel good....aAAGHHHH!!"   
  
The wing of the plane narrowly missed a giant stop sign, and dove under a rather low bridge. "And there'll be big banana splits, and thick fudge, and cake, and..."   
Gohan doubled over in his seat, gagging. Videl looked at him sideways. "What's wrong Gohan, I thought you LOVED food."   
  
"uuuughhhh...."   
  
"Ah, here we are." She landed the aircraft with a really sickening drop, followed by a soft feathery landing in a parking lot.   
  
Upon which Gohan tumbled out of the car, clutching his stomach, and accidentally jamming the baby and making it start to cry.   
  
The raven-haired girl cursed. "NOW look what you've done Gohan, there's 5% gone out the window and we haven't even STARTED yet!"   
  
He focused his dizzy eyes grumpily on her, "Well, maybe if you hadn't tried your hardest to make me throw up, I wouldn't have fallen out, now would I! *wheeze*"   
  
"Hey, now don't go blaming this on me. It was just harmless fun! Anyway, start rocking it until it stops, and maybe some sort of miracle'll happen and the computer banks won't register it."   
  
Not in the mood to argue, he started to rock the baby, and it quieted down surprisingly quickly. Videl looked on with amusement. "Well, seems like you've done this before."   
  
"Yeah, had to take care of my little brother from time to time."   
  
She sighed, "Lucky. What're we naming this thing anyway, while we're on the subject?"   
  
Squinting, Gohan looked very closely at the baby, "I....I think it's a girl."   
  
"Wow, excellent deduction, Einstein, mayhaps the pink pajama suit clued you in?"   
  
He smiled brightly, "Yup."   
  
She decided to ignore that, "Well, I think we should name it...Videl Jr? Videl Jr....that DOES have a nice ring to it..."   
  
"*snicker*"   
  
"WHAT?!"   
  
"Maybe...maybe not, Videl."   
  
"Well....hmph. How about Smartass, in honor of his dear daddy."   
"....maybe we could work on variations of that...better than Videl J-"   
  
Videl exlpoded, " YEAH, OK, HOW ABOUT A FULLLY LOADED PAIN IN THE ASS!"   
  
Gohan jumped, "PAN! PAN, that's IT!"   
  
"Pan?.....How is that a variation of Smartass, again?" she inquired.   
  
"Well, Pain in the ass was close, and taking out the i in Pain..well...no that doesn't work...actually...it kinda reminds me of food."   
  
She sighed, "Ok. Pan. You know....I just have this feeling that this'll be the name of my real child, and it's being 'subtly' and 'cleverly' hinted at now in some sort of strange-..."   
  
Gohan looked up, "What'd you say?"   
  
"Hmmm, me, did I say something? Well, come on, let's go face the storm and get to work. Maybe you can help me with math, while you're here."   
  


* * *

  
They stepped out of the parking lot, and an entire platoon of camoflauged sodliers rose from the grass and focused their guns on Gohan. "FREEZE! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! STEP AWAY FROM MS SATAN IMMEDIATELY, OR BE *sent to the next dimension*!!!"   
  
Videl was quite calm. "Yup. The Maid's at work again."   
  
Gohan blanched. If even one of them shot him, there'd be..."Um....Videl....how..how do we get through here?"   
  
Bidel came bustling out from behind the front line, maid uniform hindering her somewhat. "Videl, don't worry DARLING, you're safe now, get AWAY FROM HER YOU LITTLE STALKING FREAK!"   
  
Trying to ease the situation, Gohan outstretched a hand. "There must be a misunderstanding, I'm-"   
  
The maid screamed, "SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM, HE'S TRYING TO GET US!"   
  
All the soldiers looked at her in utter confusion. A voice called out, "Huh?"   
  
Her mask was one of total fury, unabated, the kind that you obtain power over when you listen to your little cousin play with a ticlke-me-elmo for 3 hours straight. "ARE YOU AN **IDIOT?!** It's a PLOY! HE'S A THREAT, SHOOT HIM!"   
  
One shot rang out, from a hidden Pilaf spy. (suspense) The *tranquilizer dart* zipped down, and before anything could be done, struck the head of the baby robot.   
  
Videl tore herself free. "ARE YOU ALL STUPID? Now the baby has a DENT in her head! THANKS!"   
  
Everyone facevaulted. "BABY?!?!?!"   
  
"No no NO! It's a RO-"   
  
Bidel's eyes blazed in unholy triumph. "You see? Let her away for one week, just one week, and she's had a child!"   
  
Gohan thought for a second. "....pardon my interruption, but doesn't it generally take nine months to give birth-?"   
  
**"EVERYONE MAKE WAY!"**   
  
All the soldiers drew back in fear from the....FEARED figure of Hercule Satan. It was said that bullets were useless, and that he could sluaghter an entire army by flexing his muscles. Bidel curtsied, seething. "Sire, this BOY here followed YOUR DAUGHTER home. I was just about to detain him for you, not thinking to-"   
  
"Quiet Lidel-"   
  
"BIDEL."   
  
"...right, Bidel, I'll settle this. Now, Ridel."   
  
"Videl, dad, VIDEL. With a V. The letter V."   
  
"uuuuuuh....HAAAHAAHAAA, just KIDDING. Who's this kid you brought to MY HOUSE." He glanced at Gohan, who had long given up on trying to quiet the chaos. "Well...HA! Right, like this little squirt could do anything to MY daughter."   
  
The maid cooed, "Honey, you don't understand, he's tricking-"   
  
"Videl, please, let me handle this."   
  
Videl screamed, "DAD!!!! I'm VIDEL! ME! DEAR CHRIST! That's Bidel! WITH A B! A B FOR....UUUURGGGGHHHHH!!!!"   
  
"....uuuuhhhh....HA! ANOTHER JOKE! Well, what's a thin little shrimp like you doing here anyway?"   
  
Gohan bowed politely, "I'm here for the social and home ec class project, Mr. Satan. I apologize for causing such a scare."   
  
Hercule muttered, "I don't like the looks of you, kid, but I was told this already. Good thing for you that Percy told me to come to the garden earlier, or you'd be a *pincushion full of tranquilizer darts*, HA! Don't worry, you're safe now, unless you get on my BAD side, upon which I will pound you mercilessly like the scum you probably are. Ok?"   
  
"Um......ok...thanks..."   
  
Bidel growled, "Percy? That filthy little-"   
  
The walking afro roared, "ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS PACK UP AND GET BACK TO YOUR POSTS, FALSE ALARM!"   
  
As the soldiers all scurried off quickly, Hercule turned to Bidel, "Well, I'm sorry, hunny-poo, but you need to go back to work. The world doesn't revolve around you, dear, and Mrs Briefs will be here in an hour."   
  
_No, I'm sorry, I forgot, the world revolves around YOU. Dear christ, he can't even remember my name,_ Bidel thought darkly. She stomped off in a huff.   
  
The sun was beginning to set behind the highly romantic scene, while Videl started screaming at her father.   
  
"Why the HELL can't you remember my NAME, I'm your DAUGHTER! How can you confuse me with that, THAT THING!"   
"DON'T SPEAK THAT WAY ABOUT HER! IN FACT, how DARE you take that tone with YOUR MAGNIFICENT FATHER!!"   
  
"I'll speak however the hell-!"   
  
"Do you have ANY manners!" He turned and tried an 'intimidating glare of death' on the intruder. "Sorry, boy, for my daughter's behavior. But don't think you can get away with anything in this house, buddy, I have a reputation you know. I got my EYE on you."   
  
His face largely resembled some kind of puffed up balloon mask. "Uh...ok..."   
  
Looking ready to kill something, Videl growled, "Can we just go inside now?"   
  
"Umm.....all right. AND REMEMBER BOY, no sneaky moves, NO touching, ABSOLUTELY NO MOUTH STUFF! You here me, NO MOUTH STUFF or else I will Pound and Pummel you into a Pulpy Pancake Personally!"   
  
Blink. Blink. _Mouth stuff?_   
  
".....GOOD! Now, I have to dress up for Mrs. Briefs tonight, so I want no trouble, you hear me! That goes for you too, young lady. Hmmmm...I hear she hasn't officially married yet..I'll make her swoon tonight, oh yes..."   
  
_You want to die slowly and painfully? That's a surefire way to do it._ thought Gohan only half-jokingly.   
  
Videl grabbed Gohan's arm and started to lead him off, "Ok, great dad, can we go now?"   
  
To say that his eyes bulged to the size of flying saucers would be a grevious understatement. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WHY'RE YOU HOLDING HIS ARM LIKE THAT I TRY TO PROTECT YOU AND THIS IS THE WAY YOU SHOW YOUR THANKS DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU GET PREGNANT--"   
  
"-but I won't because, actually, I'm holding his arm to keep him from running away in SHEER TERROR OF YOUR POWER," she stated sarcastically.   
"Uuuhhh.....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAAAAA, smart kid, smart kid. Well, I'm off to change!"   
  
Turning to go, he threw a glance backward at the saiyajin. "....Hey, have I met you before, kid?"   
  
A nervous laugh escaped, "ME, meet you? O-of course not, hahaha! Eheheh, maybe you saw me in a crowd or something."   
  
The big man shrugged, but something was obviously bothering him. "Um, ok. You heard me earlier, no funny stuff...." He walked somewhat less confidently back up to the mansion.   
  
The two were left to find their way across the massive complex to Videl's room. She sighed, "I'm sorry about all of this. My dad, as you've probably noticed, is slightly overprotective, not to mention the fact that he's a complete retard. I must have the strangest 'family' on the face of the planet."   
  
Gohan almost choked holding down laughter. She didn't know WHAT strange families were. "You know, sometimes its odd, he having his great strength and all, but I can't imagine how he beat Cell. I mean, you know? I heard he tripped out of the ring, and only got Cell while the wierd people were doing some sort of really big light show. It's kind of iffy, you know?"   
  
The boy chuckled nervously, "Eheheh. Yeah. Big light show. That's an interesting way to put it."   
  
Videl squinted, "Yeah, and I heard some odd stories here and there about this demon kid or something, who fought with Cell after the other magician guy lost. I don't understand what happened to all those strange people, and why we haven't seen them since...."   
  
"Demon kid? Magician guy?"   
  
Videl stared at him, "You DO know what I'm talking about right."   
  
"Oh, oh yeah, I know, believe me I know, I just, um, uh....heh, I thought it was different...."   
  
"You know, you really are the worst liar on the face of the planet. I don't know what you mean, OR where you met Dad, but we need to get to work anyway." Striding off smugly, Videl entered the mansion, followed closely by Gohan, who wisely kept his mouth shut.   
  
After taking the indoor bus, they arrived at Videl's 'main' bedroom.   
  


* * *

  
Gohan almost dropped the baby as he gazed huge-eyed at the room. _This isn't a room, this is a small castle!_ "THIS is your bedroom Videl-san? It's twice the size of my house!"   
  
She smirked a little. The extra-large king-sized bed, the elaborate dresseer, antique mirror, numerous desks, private entertainment center, and large personal bathroom signified her lack of serious wealth issues. "Yup. Got a smaller one in the back in case I'm too tired to walk all the way across the house."   
  
"Wow....."   
  
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Hold on one second."   
  
Videl walked over, stared at her priceless antique mirror for a second, then smashed her fist through it, pulling out a hidden camera. She yelled at it, "That's the 5th time this month you've used the same spot, dumbasses!" right before crushing it into a small metal ball and throwing it out the window into traffic.   
  
Acting as if nothing happened, she took the baby out of Gohan's arms and yanked the *dart* out of it's head. "Oh, gee, this dent in the baby's forehead'll look just DANDY. I'm sure Mr. Forrester'll love this."   
  
"Uh huh," he mumbled absently, longingly eyeing what appeared to be the world's largest minifridge.   
  
"Well, we need to start charting the cycles, maybe you can help me with some other stuff too, while we're watting for the dear PAN in the ass to start crying."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Are you listening to me?"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Gohan?"   
  
"mmmmmm....miiniifriiiidge...."   
  
"....oh my god, my hair turned GREEN!"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"My cat's been possesed by Satan! My dad prooved the theory of relativity false!"   
  
"All that food...."   
  
"Cell's come back from the dead! The house is burning down! ZOMBIE COWS ARE FLYING ABOVE THE CITY AND SQUIRTING EXPLOSIVE MILK EVERYWHERE!"   
  
"Uh huh. Videl, can we eat something out of the-"   
  
**_"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NO! NO! NO! UURRRRGHHHH!_** *huff puff huff puff* You have the attention span of a six-year old or what? NO FOOD UNTIL DINNER."   
  
"....but Videl-san-"   
  
"NO. No ifs, ands, or buts. Work. Now."   
  
"But....all that FOOD! I'm so hungry I could die!"   
  
She clenched and unclenched her fingers rapidly, trying very hard not to strangle him to death. "Just wait ONE hour, just ONE hour. Speaking of the number ONE, If you ask me ONE more time, I'm going to stuff you in ONE of my desk drawers and lock it for ONE year."   
  
"......*whimper*..."   
  
"No, NO no no, you're not doing that again. Uh uh, I'm NOT looking. No, stop, STOP, it's NOOOT WOOOOORKING!! *hum hum* You're not whimpering your way out of this! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr, *whistles yankee doodle*, not listening *hum* not listening **OK FINE, ONE TREAT, JUST ONE!"**   
  
Then she banged her head on the wall, "GODDAMMIT!"   
  
He beamed at her, "Arigato, Videl-San!" A brilliant, golden, holy light shone from the magnificent minifridge as it swung open, and Gohan gazed in awed wonder at the variety of items, and how incredibly tasty each one looked.   
  
Videl sighed, "Come on, come on, pick something."   
  
"It's...so...beautiful...."   
  
Her eyes rolled up and right. "Yeah...right. Actually, it's my Dad wanting me to get very, very fat. Now pick something so we can get started."   
  
"This'd be almost enough for an entire day!" He picked up a giant fruit tart, and engulfed it in three quick bites, not a crumb escaping to the floor.   
  
He turned, sat down, and rested his chin in his hands, smiling happily at Videl, who was doing a good imitation of Goten. "That was delicious, arigato!"   
  
"Uh.....uh huh......"   
  
And so, the next hour was actually fairly quiet, with the exception of the gaurds checking on them ever 2.5 minutes, the crowds of admirers cheering for Mr. Satan every 5 minutes, the somewhat random arguments between our two heroes between such noises, Hercule's 'singing' from the bathroom, and the baby's automatic crying periods. After one tumultuous crying period, the baby settled down for its 'nap'. So the two turned to other work, that is, Videl's work.   
  
Videl in question was rather grumpy throughout the whole ordeal. While Gohan's hints and walkthroughs were helpful, his casual know-it-allness about such minor things as advanced vector equations was making her feel rather ignorant. It'd almost be better if he didn't seem so honest and eager to help her, that way she could be grumpy at him for a logical reason. He was currently solving a math problem with ease that she'd pounded her head over for hours, and showing it to her step by step. What's worse, it made sense when she looked at it.   
  
"...so all you need to do is substitute in these three places with X + 4, and then you simplify! It should come out to be the equation for a quartic hyperbolic function!"   
  
"....right. Yeah, ok, I geuss that makes sense. *mutter mutter*"   
  
"Hmmm?"   
  
"Nothing. Come on then, we'd better get to dinner. Well, thanks for the help, you're really good at this stuff, you know that?"   
  
Gohan scratched the back of his head sheepsishly. "Thanks. You're a fast learner, too."   
  
She beamed at him, delighted. Then, catching herself, she stood up and stuffed the neatly completed worksheet into her notebook, and started cleaning up everything. Gohan got up and was about to help when he suddenly felt a poweful Ki fire up from extremely far off, to the west. _What's that? Feels like Kuririn, but's why's he using his full power to come this way....oh NO! If he recognizes me, Hercule'll...oh man, gotta think, gotta think..._   
  
Videl looked at him quizzically. Man, he was strange sometimes, as opposed to the normal times when he could turn his hair blonde and fly. But he looked so CUTE standing there with a blank, focused expression on his face, like a 5-year old trying hard to understand a lecture on the chemical properties of DNA.   
  
Oddly, she had this biting urge to startle him and grab his attention.   
  
"Hey, earth to Gohan, you ok there?" She ducked her head under his arm and smiled innocently at him. "What're you thinking so hard over, anyway?"   
  
All thoughts of Kuririn dissapeared in a poof of smoke. Paling and reddening simultaneously, he tried to lengthen some distance between them. "Um, ha ha, just-a th-thinking aa-a-a-about h-homework-u-um- ehheh...nothing r-really...y-yeah."   
  
"hmmmmmmmmm, really?" She showed no signs of letting him go, and Gohan's mind was entering a state of panicked confusion. _Why do her moods have to change so quickly? This isn't fair, can't she wave a flag or blow a trumpet or something? _ Gohan thought frantically. (if you haven't noticed by this point, suave calmness around girls is not his strongest point)   
  
"Ah, there you are!" Videl promptly hopskipped forward in terror. At first, Gohan cringed, but then a smile broadened on his face. "Bulma? What're you doing here?"   
  
She just smiled and brushed her blue hair back behind her neck. "Hmmm, I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?"   
  
Burning, he stammered out, "N-no, we were just packing up for dinner, r-right Videl-san?"   
  
She was a tad pink herself. "Yeah, right."   
  
"Of course." Bulma replied smoothly. _Oh GOD was that cute, why the hell didn't I bring my camera?_   
  
Videl quickly changed the subject, "So, what do you think of my *cough* AMAZING father."   
  
The blue-haired beauty rolled her eyes. "I hope you'll forgive my saying so, Videl, but your dad is kinda on the shallow end of the intellectual pool. Though he isn't lacking in self-confidence, on a positive note."   
  
"Believe me, I know."   
  
"I'm telling you though, one word to my dear husband about how many times this guy's tried to make a pass at me, and that man'd have to be scraped out of the crater with a butter knife."   
  
Videl pondered, "Why don't you just tell him you're married?"   
  
"I DID."   
  
"Oh....."   
  
"Yeah, the matter I'm here for conerns you too, Videl. He's opting for osme sort of advanced security system that would allow you to be tracked via satellite, have police on the spot if you're ever 'molested' and such and such. This WOULD give my company an unprecedented bonus in cash, but I doubt you'll agree to it, if I know you."   
  
The flat, grating response confirmed this beyond all shadow of a doubt.   
  
Bulma walked up and ruffled Gohan's hair. "I figured that the 'Suspicious looking thin kid with the spiky hair that caused a ruckus today' would be you. If I know YOU well enough, you're hungry, right? "   
  
All thoughts of dignity aside, Gohan nodded brightly. "Hai, hai!"   
  
_Yeah, she DOES know him. _   
  
She smiled. "Ok, I'm heading back before he gets suspicious or something. Finish whatever *packing up* you have to do and I'll see you there, kay?"   
  
She walked out airily, leaving an oblivious Gohan and a pink-faced Videl in her wake. The hint, of course, had sailed right over his head. "Videl, do we have anything left to pack?"   
  
"....*mutter*oh shut up*mutter*idiot*mutter*."   
  
He blinked. What'd he done this time?   
  


* * *

  
Dr. Briefs, now well into his golden years, had decided to take a walk in the forest upon Kuririn's arrival, since he knew it wouldn't take too long for things to start blowing up.   
  
He'd brought some 'dating magazines' with him for when he got to his favorite bench. But today, for some reason, he decided to take a different route to the bench.   
  
A shiny orange something suddenly caught his eye, hiding between the roots of a large tree. The scientist in him awoken, he stooped down and picked it up. And even for a man who had seen alien spaceships, Androids, and small children that always end up being super-powerful, the orb amazed him.   
  
It was perfect, like a magnificent pearl, and contained 4 small stars directly in the center of it. He knew immediately what it was: a dragonball. He'd seen the large ones from Namek before, but this seemed more amazing to him. This one belonged soley to earth.   
  
In other words, it was pretty neat.   
  
Forgetting his reading, he decided to take it back as a present for Bulma. Who knows, they might need it sometime.   
  
Oblivious that he was completely screwing up the emporer's plans, he whistled his way back to the Capsule Corporation.   
  
  
_To Be Continued...._   
  



	8. The Unexpected Geust, or, WHAT A COINCID...

RIP Planet Namek. We'll miss you *sniff*.   
  
Oh yeah, and I will get to the "action" part soon, I'm just a bit long-winded sometimes.   
  


* * *

  
The World's Biggest Minifridge was pathetic compared to the spread laid out on the table.   
  
A delicious pork roast lay in the middle of the table, writhing in glazed honey and juices. Behind its grandeur lay bowl after bowl of ramen noodles, fried rice, and eggrolls, light shining merrily off the grease. Candied fruit lay open on small plates for desert, along with home-baked double-stuffed oreos and fresh milk.   
  
Gohan's mouth watered, and it took many different levels of willpower to keep dribble off his chin.   
  
Remembering his manners, he sat down politely, with Bulma on one side, and Videl on the other. A position most men in the city would've given their money and soul for, but then again, this was Gohan, so he was oblivious to that sort of thing.   
  
Hercule burst in on the scene like a storm, clad in a brilliantly ridiculous looking tuxedo that didn't fit him at all. He pawed his way to the table, grabbed a handful of candied fruits, and proceeded to scoff them. He winked 'roguishly' at Bulma and glared at Gohan. "*mmph* Boyph, I hope *scroff* that you *crunch* haven't done anyphing *smack smack* since the camera's been put out."   
  
Videl sighed tiredly, "Dad, for the love of god, just sit down."   
  
Bulma smiled reassuringly at him, "Don't worry, they were just packing up when I checked."   
  
"...Good. Just tell me if you see that BOY over there doing anything, and I'll see to it that he gets SQUASHED LIKE THE LITTLE PANCAKE HE IS! uh.....wanna see me flex my muscles?!"   
  
Surprisingly, Mrs. Briefs remained composed, calm, and pleasant. She'd been here before. "This roast looks delicious. My compliments to the cook."   
  
"Yeah, uhuh, uh, you thank, er, thank you of, um.....LET'S EAT."   
  
Hercule ate rather messily, but furiously busy butlers kept each and every flying crumb and drop of colored liquid off his figure. Bulma ate sparingly, to keep that waist of hers nice and tight. Videl, meanwhile, brightened up as she ate, and noticed the plentiful helpings of addictive fried rice cakes, her favorite dish. (HA! CLEVER PUN! BOOYAH! THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL QAULETY FAUNFICSHON!)   
  
She started to turn, "Hey Gohan, you ever try mixing the pork with these fried.....dear...god...."   
  
She dropped her fork and simply stared in disbelief at the certifable walking black hole of a stomach sitting next to her. Gohan was on his 23rd bowl of ramen noodles, and had demolished, alone, 3/4ths of the entire roast, in under 5 minutes. And still, not a crumb fell from his mouth, not one drop of juice dribbled down his chin, and very little sound came at all, aside from tiny chewing sounds and little happy noises. He stopped only to take a couple deep gulps of water before diving back in with glee.   
  
Bulma started to attempt conversation. "So, Gohan, what're you doing here?"   
  
Chew chew CHOMP chew chew....guuuulp. "I'm working with Videl on a Social and Home Ec class project. We take care of these robotic babyish things, the one Videl's carrying. Pretty neat, huh? *CHOMP*"   
  
"Oh the baby project! Yeah, we just produced that new model."   
  
Chew chew nod nod chew chew.   
  
The big man blinked. "Gohan....That's your name huh kid?"   
  
"*swallow* Uh huh! Man this food is really good! *CHOMP*"   
  
Bulma swore under her breath, she'd forgotten. "Uh, anyway, Mr. Satan, I discussed the new security system with your daughter here, and she wasn't exactly keen on the idea. I think it'd be better to lower the level of security that you want to purchase, maybe just a camera or two extra-"   
  
"SHE doesn't HAVE to like it, because SHE doesn't know what's good for her! There're all sorts of crazy people out there, and she's just too oblivious to the world around her sometimes! She's a little fool about that sort of thing, to be honest! Idiotic, to be honest."   
  
"Dad, you know I'm sitting RIGHT HERE."   
  
"That's nice sweetie."   
  
"*hic*....scuse me...*chomp* *siiiip*"   
  
"Dad, I swear to GOD-"   
  
**_RRRRRUAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**   
  
A terrifying...raugh...from somewhere far off in the distance caused the very floor to shake and small birds to fall out of the sky and hit the roof. Videl flipped to her feet, and her dad fell backwards in his chair. "W-w-what was that....damn my muscles are big when I'm lying down."   
  
Bulma sighed and clasped a hand to her forehead, "No, I recognize THAT roar anywhere. That's my husband. Wonder what Kuririn did this time..."   
  
"*munch munch* *HIC* *slop* *HIC HIC* *gulp* Uuuuh, what...what...what was that, Buloomers?"   
  
Blink. "Gohan dear, do you know that no one has called me that in at least 18 years, and lived to tell about it?"   
  
"*GUUUULP..SIP SIP* mmm, yeah, s---so----hee heh hee---sorry. Forgot...whee, I didn't know the...the...the lights changed colors like that."   
  
"What're you talking about, boy. What the hell's wrong with you. STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"   
  
The normally clear, bright eyes were dim and glazed, and a strange reddish tinge glowed around his nose. "Oh...oh be quiet, you owe...*hic*...owe me a big one...why's it so cold.....look, it's Icarus!"   
  
Videl stared at him, "Gohan, what's wrong with you?"   
  
Bulma squinted, and took a sip from Gohan's glass. She gulped with noticeble effort. "Dear Dende! This isn't water, this is hard liquor. Wooooh, that burns! You're supposed to take SHOTS of these, not chug them out of a glass!"   
  
"Hiiiii Iiiicarus.....dance to my...my whistling?"   
  
"NO! NO WHISTLING!" Bulma roared sharply.   
  
"....k....*hic*...."   
  
Hercule took a sip of his, "Huh, mine tastes just fine, I dunno what the big deal is. W...wait a sec, that'd better not be the 1962 vintage!"   
  
Videl hit her head on the table, "Wonderful. Thanks dad, this is just what I needed. Now Gohan's drunk on God knows how many glasses of Sambucca or something." Then an odd thought occured to her, "How the HELL does someone drink several glasses of hard liquor and not pass out?"   
  
Gohan smiled sloppily, "I'm st----str----powerful enough, s'pose. Gee Videl, you know, you're very p---pr---p---pr---"   
  
"P- what?" She reddened a bit.   
  
"P---pr---pretty patient compared to my mom!"   
  
*insert anime-style falling over* Hercule muttered, "Yeah, you are drunk, kid."   
  
Videl glared, "D----D----DAD!!! DAMMIT, NOW I'M DOING IT!"   
  
**"BUUULLLLMMMAAAA!!!! HELP!!! HE'S AFTER ME, HE'S GOING TO TEAR ME TO SHREDS! FOR THE LOVE OF ORANGE JELLO AND BEEF BURRITOS SMOTHERED IN GRAVY, HIIIIDEEE MEEEE!!!!"**   
  
Kuririn blasted through the ceiling and dove under the table, tripping Hercule and making him sail into the desert platters. At this point, Bulma briefly considered trying to quickly invent something to make herself invisible. "NOW what happened!"   
  
"KITCHEN.........SPAGHETTI......TRUNKS JUMP BACK......GIANT USED DIAPER BALL.....HORDE OF HOTWHEELS CARS.......FLYING SAUCE....V-VEGETA.....CHEESE GRATER...MIRACULOUS UNCONSCIOUSNESS...RAN LIKE HELL!"   
  
"Great. Sounds like last week."   
  
"I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
Hercule's eyes widened, "Hey, I-I know you!"   
  
Gohan tried to get up but fell against the table. "Hi Kurin...in...in."   
  
The bald man's face brightened. "HEY, GOHAN! **WHAT A COINCIDENCE!** Hey, uh, Vegeta's probably transformed, and uh, I'm pretty screwed unless you could...you know-"   
  
"Uh huh, I..I'll go super...sour..... heHEE!"   
  
"*blink* Uh...gohan?"   
  
"RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The back wall exploded and Vegeta stormed in, hair practically on fire. Kuririn shimmied under the table. "WHERE IS THE LITTLE BALD FREAK, HE'S F*CKING DEAD, YOU HEAR ME! I'M TIRED OF THESE STUPID PEOPLE AND THIS STUPID PLANET!" A great deal of tomato sauce was liberally splatered all over his body, a cheese grater was stuck to his hair, and he resembled some sort of freakish horrible nightmare from beyond.   
  
Gohan giggled. "Wow, you look st---st---stupid."   
  
Vegeta glared horribly at him. "DO YOU WANT TO DIE IN ONE QUICK FLASH OF PAIN OR SHOULD I TAKE A COUPLE WEEKS!"   
  
"How bout Kamehamedump st---stew."   
  
Vegeta blinked, anger forgotten momentarilly. "What the hell are you talking about?"   
  
"Stew...mmmm...uh-I'll k-kiiick your...your asess if you even try to hurt Kur...Kuririn---*hic*---what's cue ball gain?"   
  
"*snort* Right. I don't know what happened to you, but you look too out of it to even focus chi."   
  
Gohan started to clench a fist, and slipped to the floor, dragging a lot of the food with him. "Heehee---geuss n-not..."   
  
Videl decided to just lie in her chair and pretend she wasn't there. She had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, why this always happened to her, who the hell the bald guy was, etc, and was very sure she didn't want to know. Then the baby started to cry again in her lap again, to add to all the fun.   
  
"WAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"   
  
Hercule finally worked up some nerve, and squeaked, "Hey, you, your breaking my property, and I'll have to hurt you if-"   
  
"SHUT UP YOU MORONIC FRAUDULANT WEAKLING LUMP OF ASS! YOU COULDN'T BEAT A DEAD HORSE! NOW WHERE'S THE **_BALD_** MORONIC WEAKLING!...fraudulant...I like that..."   
  
"WAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"   
  
Bulma stood up and pointed a deadly finger. "Now that's enough. Just calm down, calm down. I'm sure whatever it was, it was an accident."   
  
"WAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"   
  
"....All right, fine. I'm calm now. But why the hell did that stupid fool have to leave all those cars-!"   
  
Bulma soothingly stroked his arm, and the popped veins retracted off his forehead. "There there, it's ok Vegeta. Now, why don't you go back home and go finish that new level of training I made for you."   
  
"*grumble* ok fine."   
  
"Shh shhh"   
  
He sighed and closed his eyes. Bulma smiled, another disaster averted by her own sheer brilliance. What WOULD these people do without her.   
  
Then Kuririn cheerfully crawled out of his hiding spot. "W-w-well, glad to see you calmed do***ARGHPH*"   
  
Two bulging hands picked him up by the scruff of his neck. "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!! DIE, YOU HEAR ME, DIIIIEEEE!!! FIRST I'LL RIP YOUR ARMS OUT OF YOUR SOCKETS AND STUFF THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT! THEN I'LL TAKE THIS CHEESE GRATER AND-"   
  
"WAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" screamed the baby and Kuririn simultaneously.   
  
"VEGETA! THAT'S IT, NO MATING FOR A WEEK! TWO WEEKS IF YOU HURT HIM, **_THE REST OF ETERNITY_** IF YOU KILL HIM!"   
  
"BUT-"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"HE-!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"GRRRRRRR! Baldy, you'll pay DEARLY for this one day!"   
  
"*guuuulp* *SQUEAK* s-s-sorry V-v-v-v-v-v-veg-g-g-geta!"   
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"   
  
Hercule paled further, "Vegeta? Where've I seen-?"   
  
Vegeta whirled around, "You, that mate-girl of Kakarot II's, will you shut that WHELP OF YOURS UP!"   
  
"WHELP? OF MINE? IT'S A....Kakarot II?"   
  
"WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
"The boy, stupid!"   
  
**_"MATE--girl?!?! OF GOHAN'S!?!?!?!?! *deep breath*-"_**   
  
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...*burp*"   
  
Silence.   
  
Bulma gasped, "Oh no...you're here...Vegeta's here....WHO THE HELL'S WATCHING THE BABY!"   
  
Kuririn ventured, "Probably your father."   
  
"OH MY GOD! You trusted my DAD? HE MIGHT ALREADY HAVE-! VEGETA, YOU AND KURIRIN ARE GOING BACK TO THE HOUSE IMMEDIATELY, AND YOU BETTER PRAY, FOR YOUR OWN SAKES, THAT TRUNKS HASN'T DESTROYED IT!"   
  
Vegeta snarled and blasted back out through a new hole in the wall, and Kuririn sheepishly strained to fly after him.   
  
Bulma turned to the wreck that remained of the dinner table, Gohan lying on the floor grinning stupidly, Hercule trembling under a chair, and Videl trying very hard to not break many priceless objects that hadn't already been broken.   
  
"I'm sorry....my husband has a bit of a temper sometimes...."   
  
"*hic*"   
  
"*whimper*"   
  
"*teeth-grind*"   
  
"I'll pay for any damages done tonight."   
  
"*hic*"   
  
"....."   
  
*teeth-grind*   
  
Hercule was now staring at Gohan with a look of dawning, huge-eyed, animal-level terror. "No, it's not....not...but his hair....but they can change their hair....but.... OH GOD PLEASE, SPARE MY DAUGHTER! PLEASE! TAKE ME INSTEAD! YOU CAN---CAN--!"   
  
"Tear *belch* it hotter?"   
  
"Dad, what ARE you talking about?"   
  
"HE....BUT...THAT'S...."   
  
Bulma snapped sharply, "Mr. Satan, I think all the excitement's gotten to you. Gohan's done nothing mean to your daughter. Videl, could you show Gohan to my car, I think I should take him home with me."   
  
Videl jumped to it, eager to get the hell out of the room. "Sure thing. Come on Gohan, can you stand up?"   
  
"*hic* Sure, one sssec." Slipping his feet ungracefully under him, he slowly wobbled his way into a standing position. The two managed to get out of the room while Bulma attempted to calm down and soothe the hysterical world champion.   
  


* * *

  
"Mai, I don't like this. This brings back bad memmories!"   
  
"Be quiet Shao. We don't want to wake the whole house, do we?"   
  
"But Mai! Every time we EVER do something like this, something bad happens, and one of us screws up!"   
  
"I'm not disagreeing with you, stupid, just talk QUIETER!"   
  
"....oh....ok...."   
  
Shao fidgeted in his usual Ninja Garb. "Hey, uh Mai."   
  
"YES, Shao?"   
  
"How're we getting in there, anyway? This is the Capsule Corporation, god knows what security they have.""   
  
"Don't worry. Now, here's the plan. We send you under the laser fence, and have you use a mirror to retract the light away so I can get in. Then we cut across the lawn to the security post, where we can shut down at least half of the perimeter unheard. When we get inside, we knock out the security cameras with these special grenades that we copied from Metal Gear Solid 2, and drill a hole to-"   
  
"Hey Mai?"   
  
She sighed, her partner was never any good at understanding these things. "What now?"   
  
"Why don't we just climb into the kitchen through that huge hole in front of us?"   
  
*blink* She hadn't noticed, but the wall they were facing was mostly destroyed, and laid an easy to follow path directly to their destination. "Oh....yeah sure."   
  
They easily climed to the second floor, and crept through as silently as possible.   
  
"Mai, why is there spaghetti everywhere?"   
  
"Don't ask, don't speak, it's a good policy Shao."   
  
"But what about the bucket of shredded cheese over there-"   
  
"SHAO. SHUT. UP."   
  


* * *

  
Videl sighed, this wasn'te exactly what she envisioned when she first thought about bringing a boy to her house. It was like some unholy god of somewhat hilarious disaster decided to start stalking her. But somehow, some part in her, perhaps the childish part, was enjoying every minute of it. The random arguments, esxplosions, craziness, and unpredictability seemed to fit her well, and for some reason, Gohan attracted trouble like a high voltage magnet attracts sheet metal.   
  
But after losing him twice and having to bring him down from a flagpole after merely fifteen minutes since leaving the dining room, even her childish half was getting tired.   
  
Speaking of which, he decided right then to trip for the fourth time that evening, and knocked over a porcelain statue. She sighed and started dragging him by an arm. "I swear Gohan, you really are a massive pain in the ass."   
  
"mmm, sorr--sorry, thanks!"   
  
He clung to her arm, and if it weren't for the fact that he looked like an oversized six-year old with a teddy-bear, she might have been freaked out. But she simply sighed and dragged onward, marveling at his ability to snag himself in the oddest places.   
  
After a long and slow journey, they finally reached the car. Videl sighed, "Ok Gohan, we're here. I'll meet you tomorrow at the park and we'll go to your house. I geuss I'll take the baby tonight, since your drunk as hell. I swear, if ANYONE else had caused all this trouble, ANY other guy..."   
  
"K. MEet you at the baby, you're taking the park. Look at the....the orange *hic* flying Piccolo-san!"   
  
"....right. Come on Gohan, go get in the car now."   
  
"Can you see...see him?"   
  
"Gohan, let's play the quiet game. I'll time you and see if you can beat my record of 2 days!"   
  
"Uh...OK!"   
  
"Great! Now, go get in the car!"   
  
No movement.   
  
"Gohan, get in the CAR."   
  
*chirp chirp*   
  
"GOHAN----CAR----NOW----I SWEAR, IF ANYONE SEES THIS-"   
  
*sad bambi-eyed frown*   
  
Videl clenched her teeth, "Gohan, you have the soul of an THREE-year old, don't DO this to me."   
  
"*sad bambi-eyed frown*"   
  
"*sigh* I'll WALK you to the car, how's that sound."   
  
*smile*   
  
"GOOD, GLAD YOUR HAPPY! WHEE, WHAT A FUN NIGHT THIS HAS BEEN! **WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NOW!?!**"   
  
She stumbled with Gohan down to Bulma's parked hovercar in the dark parking lot. She actually began to appreciate the extra weight, since it WAS cold out. Gohan still seemed to see various flying dinasours that she couldn't, but she figured that since he probbly had an alcohol-test rating of about .8, that wouldn't be unusual.   
  
"Ok Gohan, now, come on, let go of my arm, I'll help you get in your seat."   
  
"K. Uh oops...lost the game...oh well." With one arm he managed a bone-crushing hug. "g'night! *hic*"   
  
"GOHAN...RIBS...CAN'T...AIR...BREATHE..."   
  
"Sorry...*hic*...heee." The arm dropped.   
  
Videl smiled despite herself, "Ow....ok ok, now then-"   
  
"*TARZAN HOWL* AAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!! HOLD IT RIIIIIGHT THEEERRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
A figure sailed out of the second story window and landed on top of the car, whereupon she flipped and landed in front of the two, quickly adjusting her Sailor Moon outfit. "I will NOT ALLOW THIS ATROCITY TO TAKE PLACE! RAAAAAWWWRRRR!!!!"   
  
"*hic* that....that's a funny trick'r'treat costume..."   
  
Videl's eyes narrowed in incredulous disbelief. "Ann?!"   
  
"HA HA! HA HAAA HA HA!"   
  
  
_To Be Continued_   


* * *

  
  
P.S. I'll be gone for about a week starting today, (Off to North DAKOTA! THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! KICK ASS!), but I'll be back and around soon! Ja ne! 


	9. The Setup, or, On Tying Knots

*note: Sorry for the long delay *ahem* computer troubles. I WILL UPDATE MORE, I PROMISE.   
  
"Protector of school interests!"   
  
*woosh* "Savior of a boy's true desire!"   
  
*FLASH* "Champion of all one-dimensional characters everywhere!"   
  
***insert flowery background* "I am Causean Deffect, defender of personal interests and of cheated girls EVERYWHERE!!!! RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**   
  
Videl wasn't positive, but was pretty sure that poor Ann Alogy had finally snapped, completely. "Ann, what the HELL are you wearing? You look like a reject nightclub dancer or something."   
  
"*GASP*....*phoo* just as offensive as always. How'd you recognize me?"   
  
"I think it was the dramatic and egotistical little entry you just made there in that little outfit of yours. Or the name. 'Causan Deffect'?" Ann brushed back some loose hair. "You're just jealous of my amazing style and shapely body!"   
  
"Oh Absolutely! I'm especially jealous of the clashing red, white, and bluecolors! And the wide hips!" said Videl brightly.   
  
With a whistle Ann brushed off the comment and started to idle up to the other figure, who was busy talking to the car.   
  
"Hiiiiii Goooohhaaannnnnn...."   
  
"-so could you *hic* talk...talk to Buloomers and tell her to not...*hic* fly so scary-like-ish?"   
  
Ann's face registered slight confusion, but she shrugged it off, and slid a finger under his chin. "Heeeyy Gohan, how are you faring up against the wicked witch over there?"   
  
His head tilted up, then his back, then his legs. Soon enough, he fell with a dull thud to the asphault.   
  
"In case you hadn't already noticed, Gohan's a bit drunk due to a drink mixup. He probably thinks you're a pink elephant with a skirt or something," Videl stated semi-smugly while Ann's face began to mutate into one of anger.   
  
"Well, he sure seems to know who YOU are when you talk to him!"   
  
"Me? Why would he listen to the little old wicked witch?"   
  
"You still haven't answered my question!"   
  
Videl shrugged, "I don't know! I've been with him most of the afternoon, so maybe he just knows my voice or something!"   
  
Ann took a deep breath and smiled unpleasantly, "Yeah right. Believe me, I saw you two a moment ago. The Videl from last year would've thrown poor Gohan right into the car."   
  
"EXCUSE ME?"   
  
Ann leaned down to grab Gohan's arm. "You heard me. Heeeeyyyyy Goooohhhhaaaannnn, want some help getting uuuuuppppppppp?"   
  
"..........*snnnnxxxxx*....*zzzz*..."   
  
The silence was only broken by Videl's snickering, and Ann finally snapped. "YOU DRUGGED HIM DIDN'T YOU! THAT'S WHY HE'S SO WIERD!!"   
  
"....what?"   
  
"YEAH, LET'S GO!"   
  
"But-"   
  
"um.....lemme think....YOU SMELL LIKE YOUR DAD!"   
  
"**WHAT?!** THAT DOES IT, I'VE PUT UP WITH THIS LONG ENOUGH! GET LOST!"   
  
Ann made a dramatic pose. "TRY ME, BITCH!" Suddenly, FLASH, a bracelet appeared in her hand. "FUNC....TION........BRACELET!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The bracelet flew across the lot and struck Videl on the nose.   
  
"Ow! What the hell was that?"   
  
"THAT WAS MY....FUNC....TION......BRACELET!!! HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT? HUH?"   
Videl took a small Oak Tree by the trunk and ripped it out of the ground.   
  
"Uuuhhhh.....eheh....um........TOODLES!" POOF! She dissapeared in a flash of pink and purple smoke.   
  
"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE COWARD! I'M NOT DONE YET!.....aAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHHA----YEOWCH!!!"   
  
After laughing too hard, a long, needlie like splinter caught her thumb, and she dropped the tree, which proceeded to crash into the car with a loud POW! "....oh _SHIT_...."   
  


* * *

  
The plan had been going quite well, until the two spies reached the game-room. Preoccupied with other thoughts, Shao accidentally slipped on a row of brightly colored toy cars, and fell with a graceful crash which seemed loud enough to have woken half the city. Immediately, a pitter-patter of footsteps announced baby-trunks' awakening.   
  
"Hey, what's goin on! OoOOOH, NINJA'S!"   
  
Mai clenched her teeth into a forced grin, "Yeah, we're Ninja's on a secret Mission! Unfortunately, some of us are a little clumsy, aren't we SHAO?"   
  
"Urrfff..."   
  
She drew a gun, "Now get out of our way little boy, we're busy."   
  
Trunks growled, "Hey, I don like threats, wady. I'm the pwince of the Paiyajins!"   
  
Mai blinked, and then Shao remembered something awful from past experience. He took out a crowbar, "Hey Mai, I wanna do a test on our new NINJA PARTNER *nervous laugh*, um hey, are you, uh, unusually strong?"   
  
"YUP!"   
  
"Wow! Um, could you prove your super strength by tying this into a knot?"   
  
"uh, ok." Trunks started to try and tie it, but the crowbar shattered first. "Aw....*sniff* dunno howta tie a knawt...Dad'll...*sniff sniff*"   
  
Mai felt like crying too. "Um--eheheheh...WOW, what a neat idea MR. SHAO had! What do you wanna do now, Mr. Shao?!"   
  
"I wanna learn howta tie a not!" said Trunks firmly.   
  
"Aww, it isn't that hard little buddy-!" piped shao.   
  
"DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!"   
  
"No no, I'm not I'm not, it's just-"   
  
"Hey kid, I have an idea!" Mai burst in, "How about Mr. Shao teaches you a knot while I go and---uh---collect some more supplies from...the...lab...."   
  
A smile replastered itself onto the child's face, "REALLY! OK! The password's either 5463J or I-hate-this-idiotic-door, but the second one you have to blow it up afterwards!"   
  
"Um, thanks! Shao, you'll go and show the nice how to tie a knot, now won't you?" said Mai in a voice that spoke volumes.   
  
"Er...ehee...yeah, sure....*whimper*."   
  
Mai ran off without another word, in great fear that at any moment, once again, the entire thing would become a disaster.   
  
But the twists and turns of the hallways began to confuse her, and she was deathly afraid at the thought of stumbling on the legendary "Gravity Room." Men had been known to dissapear and never return from that area.   
  
The lab, however, was not at ALL where she thought it would be. There actually wasn't a real lab, it was more like a giant garden with a couple tables.   
  
And there it was, basking on the longest table, half-wrapped in a rose-colored scarf. The 5th one.   
  
Then she weaved her way back.   
  
"...and there you go, see there, now you did it all by yourself. Why don't you go, uh, practice a little?"   
  
Trunks was positively beaming over his new technique, and started tying everything in knots, like ropes, curtains, the carpet, and Vegeta's spandex clothes. Shao grinned and slowly started trying to back out the door, casting relieved eyes at Mai, "Wow, looks like we'd better get going now, Mai's back."   
  
The boy pouted and glared at Mai, "Don't go, I wanna play Ninja Ropes with Mister Shao! I never get to play with anyone anymore!"   
  
Shao actually felt a pang of regret, "Aw comeon, you got more toys than a toy factory!"   
  
_We don't have time for this..._ Mai thought frantically. "Mister Shao, we really, REALLY need to go before someone comes back."   
  
For once in his life, the little dog thought quickly. He took off his rather high-tech watch and gave it to Trunks. "Here y'are! You can play with this for a while until I come back next time, all right?"   
  
The little boy sat down happily and started to play with the watch's laser, blowing holes through Vegeta's spandex clothes. "Thanks Mister Shao!"   
  
"Sure! Uh, BYE!" Shao called back as jumped out the hole in the wall.   
  
The pair continued to run for a goodly while, as Mai continuously berated her partner. "Do you realize how much trouble we could've been in if you hadn't sweet-talked your way out of that? Why don't you watch where you're going? Now, we need to find the last one tomorrow."   
  
"Heh....Mister Shao he called me!" Shao mumbled to himself.   
  


* * *

  
The night came and passed without further event, aside from the usual cleanup at the Briefs' Residence. No one was aware of the missing Dragonball, nor of the visitors. Trunks' unfortunately short attention span ensured that no one would know for at least a couple weeks. Chichi was relatively unaware of Gohan's alcohol accident, and Bulma decided to keep it that way. "Let a sleeping dog lie," they always say, right?   
  
The saiyan woke up as customary at 5:30 AM. After throwing out the obtrusive source of noise, namely his brother, he rather groggily began to get dressed. He felt slightly light-headed, for some odd reason.   
  
Then a very strange thought occured to him. "Why don't I remember anything?" he asked aloud. Try as he might, the only images his memory brought forth didn't make even remotely any sense. Bloomers? Super Saiyan Vegeta with a cheese grater stuck to his hair? Dancing Ballerina Girl? Videl letting him hang on to her arm for 5 minutes? "Must've been an odd dream," he shrugged.   
  
After a leisurely breakfast, he headed out to the next meeting spot, bringing only a canteen and his notebook. And a mini-fridge capsule, just in case.   
  
Gohan looked at his watch, half-looking forward to and half-dreading the next meeting, still unsure of what had happened the previous night. He certainly hoped he hadn't done anything stupid with Videl watching him.   
  
It was still pretty early in the morning, so Gohan wasn't all that worried that she wasn't there upon his arrival. He straightened his jacket a bit, and then heppened to overhear a short, odd conversation.   
  
"All right, the coordinates *whisperwhisper* we'll need to head over *whisperwhisper*"   
  
"They sure?"   
  
"Yeah, it's the last one."   
  
"*whisper*-laf said the dragon*whisper*   
  
"THAT house? THOSE people? Not a chance! They never go an entire mission without screwing up! I want to see this ball-"   
  
"SSSSHHH!! Lower your voice stupid!" came a hoarse whisper.   
  
He perked his ears. Did they mean the dragonballs?....oh no.....   
  
Gohan's eyes widened, then he paled rapidly and edged back. Videl was dressed in an extremly long and flowing dress, primarily blue with some silver accents, and her black hair had been organized into two exquisite braids. She would've been absolutely irresistable if it weren't for the fact that her face had murder written all over it, and her darkened, baggy eyes were fixed on him as if he was the source of all evil on the planet.   
  
Videl's voice quavered, "Don't you even DARE laugh at me! Just one giggle and I swear I'll claw your eyes out!"   
  
"O-o-ok, um, I th-th-think you look n--nice-"   
  
"Shut up, no I don't. I look like a barbie or something. Stupid dresser 'Oh she'll look sooo cute in this!!'" Her fists clenched and unclenched controllably, and she cast frequent glares at her backpack.   
  
"A barbie-?"   
  
"A toy Gohan, you know, the kind you play with?" she said acidly.   
  
"Oh, you mean like a toy car or--"   
  
"A TOY CAR?" Her tone rose several octaves, "Did you just say I looked like a TOY CAR?"   
  
"No no no, I just meant that I now understood that a Barbie was a toy, like-"   
  
"Like me? You think I'm a toy here for your amusement?!" She was clearly itching for a fight.   
  
"What do you mean, for my amusemen-"   
  
"You know EXACTLY what I mean!"   
  
"NO I DON'T! Why don't you ever let me finish a senten-?"   
  
"How DARE you talk to me that way!?"   
  
"Huh, bu-?"   
  
"'Why don't you ever let me finish a sentence-' waah waah!"   
  
"What do you mean," yelled Gohan. Even his patience was running thin. "It's true! You never let anyone get the last word-!"   
  
"YES I DO!"   
  
"NO YOU DON'T!"   
  
"YES I DO!"   
  
"NO YOU DON'T!   
  
"YES!"   
  
"NO!"   
  
"YES-I-DO-YES-I-DO-URRRGHHHH!!!!" Her voice suddenly soared to a shrill shriek. "I HATE THIS THING! THIS STUPID THING WOKE ME UP AT LEAST 12 TIMES LAST NIGHT!!! I **_HAAATEEEE IT!_**"   
  
In the following silence, the few people around that area began to slink away.   
  
Gohan cowered back while Videl drew out the baby-simulator and started to hiss at it. "V-videl, they're just making sure we know-"   
  
"THAT HAVING BABIES IS REALLY F***ING STUPID!"   
  
"It's a learning experience, it teaches responsibility-"   
  
"Responsibility my ass, it's a subtle means of making sure teenagers never, EVER go 'exploring'."   
  
"Exploring?"   
  
"You know, Gohan, home run? Going the distance?"   
  
He blinked in sincere, utter ignorance.   
  
Videl sighed and calmed herself down a little bit. "Oy. You know, I feel much better now."   
  
The boy smiled brightly, "That's good."   
  
She laughed in spite of herself. "You're a treasure Gohan, you know that? Anyway, you're looking better this morning. No headache?"   
  
Blink blink. "Headache? Why would I have a headache?"   
  
"You're drink, Gohan, remember? The drink. You had the equivalent of three full bottles of liquor last night. I was quite busy keeping you out of trouble, you know."   
  
He felt his face burning up, "I knew that water tasted funny....."   
  
She smirked, "You were actually pretty cute there for a while, especially when you started talking to the car."   
  
He just looked down at the sidewalk, blushing furiously, while Videl laughed for a while, and told him in cruel detail exactly what he had done yesterday, and what had happened with Krillen. At least the sidewalk didn't mock him.   
  
Finally, she tired of laughing and resorted to a restrained grin. "Anyway, so how far away is your house?"   
  
Gohan toyed with his watch, "3000 Kilometers, give or take a couple hundred. Shouldn't take too long"   
  
Her eyes widened, "Oh. Ok. Um, isn't that a bit far?"   
  
"Nah. Five, ten minutes at most....well, going half-speed anyway." He took a sip of water from his canteen.   
  
Videl snapped her fingers, "Oh that's RIGHT. You're going to fly me today!"   
  
SPIIIITTTTT. "W-w-w-what?"   
  
"Don't even TRY getting out of this. I've had two hours of sleep, I GET TO FLY," she stated flatly.   
  
"B--but didn't I win that deal?"   
  
"You promised me you would anyway!" Her lower lip began to tremble, but her eyes were alight with mischief.   
  
"Um---I'd fly too fast, you might get hurt!" Gohan wheedled desperately.   
  
"Would you rather do the helicopter?"   
  
"OH DEAR GOD NO!"   
  
"Very good, let's start now."   
  
"Aw man..." Gohan gulped. He silently wondered how he ever kept busy before he went to school, and how nice all the peace and quiet had been.   
  


* * *

  
It wasn't too long before Vegeta woke up that morning, though to his irritation he had overslept. Thus, the hot pile of mush that was called "food" would now be a luke-warm or cold pile of mush. Wonderful. Maybe if he was lucky enough, the brat'd start to squall, then he'd have the pleasure of feeding him!   
  
Such a worthless existence. Ever since Kakarot had actually gone and killed himself once and for all, there really hadn't been all that much excitement in life. Gohan was always there, but he didn't relish fighting an opponent who generally disliked fighting and simultaneously controlled some ungodly power. And, despite three years of training, the prince's strength had not noticibly improved. Did even he have limits?   
  
He shunted his mind away from such thoughts, seeing as how quitting training would leave him completely taskless. Though world domination wouldn't be such a bad job....but then everyone would turn on him again. "Hell, it'd be a waste of time ruling a bunch of morons," he muttered to himself as he pulled on his new training clothes. The old ones had vanished somewhere, for some reason, he didn't particularly care. Though Trunks' unusually good behavior when he had returned yesterday made him more than a little suspicious. And the fact that every single curtain in the bedroom was tied in one gigantic knot, and contained several large holes.   
  
It was about then that he ran into that meddlesome father of his mate's. Generally, most people int he household treated him with a semblence of respect, if nothing else to prevent a temper burst, so the doctor approached with an exaggerated deal of caution.   
  
"Um, Vegeta, you wouldn't, uh, perhaps know where, ah, a certain, er-"   
  
"Get on with it old man or leave me alone, I'm hungry."   
  
The scientist straightened himself. "Uh, well, you see, I had a ball I was studying, and I swore I put it in the lab last night. But the door was open and it wasn't there anymore."   
  
Vegeta grunted, "So? Get another one?"   
  
"Well, you see, it was apparently what you call a Dragonball, and I checked the radar. They're all halfway across the world, and six of them are all in one spot. Would you be the one collecting them?"   
  
Vegeta just stared at him, "No....no I'm not....maybe it's just Kakarot's brat."   
  
"I don't think so, they don't live in the desert, if I remember correctly."   
  
"....I think we might have a problem...."   
  
  
_To be continued...._   


* * *

  
Just as a note, I didn't particularly like this chapter, but the next one should be very good. I think. STAY TUNED, AND IF I DON'T HAVE 3264 REVIEWS IN THE NEXT 25 MINUTES, I WON'T WRITE EVER AGAIN, EVER, AND I'LL SEND A VIRUS TO FF.NET WHCIH WILL CAUSE PEOPLE'S MONITORS TO EXPLODE, AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!....*cough* 


	10. The Coming Chaos, or, Pity the Boy

"...you know, you CAN go faster than this Gohan, I think we should try and get there before the sun sets."   
  
"Uh-er I-uh-I don't want you slipping Videl-san!"   
  
"Gohan, go faster."   
  
"Um, aheh, o-ok...-"   
  
"Gohan, I swear I'm going to strangle you to death! It's not like I'm going to pop if you fly faster than 4 mph!"   
  
"Uh, ok, uh sorry!" The saiyajin boy was slightly scatter-brained, but that was more likely due to the proximity of the girl rather than her temper. She had insisted on changing back into her "normal" clothes, since she'd rather die than look ladylike or give him any sort of feeling that she had dressed up specifically for him. That'd be just fine with Gohan except for the fact that she insisted on wearing extremely small, tight-fitting black spandex shorts, which gave him a sort of feeling that she had put those on specifically for him. Worse, he was obliged to loosely hold her legs to keep her from falling. He was so proud of his arms for not shaking, he could've just screamed.   
  
He wasn't particularly accustomed to this, and she didn't make it any better by shifting so much. If his stomach was pointed upward instead of downward, one could completely misinterpret what she was doing. The unwanted image of a horse or pack mule seem to spring to his mind, whenever he could coerce a coherent thought out of it besides "Wow, she's really warm, and boy she smells good!" Of all the things that he trusted the most, why had his honorable valiant, and otherwise reliable nose betrayed him into smelling wonderful things, things that he couldn't eat, or at least not without walking away missing various crucial parts of his body.   
  
Oh and, naturally, he just HAD to have an itchy back when he couldn't scratch it. WHY an itchy back? If it was almost any other spot, he could scratch it harmlessly, but no, it had to be his back, just beyond the happy reach of his arms, and obstructed by The Mistress Slavedriver.   
  
The corners of his mouth began to twitch nervously. Life just wasn't fair to him at all. He promised himself that if Chance and Fate were actually living, breathing deities, probably the Kais, he would devote his afterlife to finding them and permanently embedding their faces in a hot stainless steel anvil.   
  
"Gohan, I said SPEED UP! Come on already! *Kick*"   
  
"Huh? OW!" She was even _kicking_ him like a horse.   
  
He was quite certain that, if he were three or four years older, he'd be thinking angsty thoughts about impossible romance, Love Poetry, dashing poses, charming smiles, gorgeous private waterfalls, or heroic acts of bravery against some contrived opponent for the sole purpose of impressing her. Right now, as a sensible 14-year old who had gone to other planets and fought to the death against things 20 times his size, a good solid temper and some very sharp-heeled tennis shoes worried him more. At least right now.   
  
"Man, I geuss that drink really did get to you." She frowned as she adjusted herself again, "You know, for the amount of food you eat, you're as thin as a rail. How is that?"   
  
"Good metabolism?" Gohan suggested mildly.   
  
"Lord, I HATE that answer. _You_ get to eat whatever the hell you want, and _I_ have to watch my weight. There's absolutely no justice; we have to undergo painful dieting, pregnancy, and other fun girlish traits, while YOU. You....oh never mind, you've probably heard all this before."   
  
Blink blink.   
  
Videl sighed, "Well, anyway come on, GO FASTER." Her voice cracked like a whip.   
  
"Yes ma'am." He thrust back with his energy a bit more, propelling himself forward. Flying had been a staple of his life for as long as he could remember, so he was always a little astonished at how much Videl tended to enjoy it. A quick glance up showed her head thrust forward a bit, face colored with a small smile and sparkly eyes. He smiled warmly; she _was_ nice to be around when she was happy. She seemed to notice him after a second, and she glared at him and flushed, "Well, can I enjoy the ride or what? You fly so damn slow I should---I--wipe that grin off your face or I'll break your ribs!"   
  
Gohan didn't so much as snicker, and carefully turned his head. He'd heard THAT tone from Goten before, normally when he sincerely tried to convince his mom that he never sucked his thumb. The temper tantrum afterwards, of course, was focused on him.   
  
Then, out of nowhere, he had a rather fun little idea. He wasn't sure what the results would be, but hell, she owed him a few for that helicopter ride....   
  


* * *

  
Bulma rubbed her temples grumpily. She could feel a massive migrain rearing up like a tidal wave, and the very last thing she needed was this bound-to-be-planet-endangering-disaster problem.   
  
Couldn't they go more than a few years without SOMETHING happening?   
  
Most women had normal husbands and normal families that didn't build robots, didn't have three year olds that could theoretically blow up the planet, or family and friends that could eat an entire city out of food, and the buildings around the food. Or attract catastrophe like flies to the world's biggest half-empty honey jar.   
  
She always had trouble with meeting other women; whenever they'd start complaining about stress, she'd start laughing hysterically.   
  
"Are you sure it was a Dragonball, dad?" she asked for the tenth time.   
  
"Absolutely postive, sweety!"   
  
"Don't call me sweety," she said absently. "Well, the fact that 6 of them are all in one spot is disturbing, but it might just be Tien or something."   
  
Vegeta scowled. "I don't think so. We'd have felt him by now."   
  
Bulma sighed. The discussion hadn't really gone anywhere in the last half an hour, but she really didn't want to call for the others, and she DEFINITELY didn't want Vegeta near the Dragonballs. She still didn't entirely trust him when it came to possible immortality. It wasn't that long ago that he'd threatened to blow up the planet.   
  
Then a sudden thought struck her, "Did Trunks see anything? He was home too, he might know something."   
  
Dr. Briefs scratched his black cat's ears absently, "I didn't really ask him, he was too busy tying things in knots."   
  
"Tying things in knots?"   
  
"Yeah, I was very busy cleaning up after him you know. Had to replace some of the furniture, too."   
  
Bulma called out into the hall, "Trunks, honey, would you come here for a second!"   
  
"What did I do!?" floated back down the hallway.   
  
Vegeta roared, "Get in here or you'll be training at 120x today!" As loud thumps flew to the door, he turned to smirk at Bulma, "You have to show your whelp who's in charge, woman."   
  
She rolled her eyes up and to the right as Trunks waddled in, face a small mask of terror. "OK, ok, I'm here, don' hurt me!"   
  
"You'll learn to keep your mouth shut when we call-!"   
  
Bulma cut through smoothly, "Honey, did you see anyone who might've taken a pretty little orange pearl from grandpa's lab?"   
  
Trunks's little face concentrated very seriously, in that infinitely funny sort of way, and then he beamed in rememberance, "Oh yeah! it was those two ninjy guys that came and helped me learn how to tie a knawt."   
  
"Ninjy guys," Bulma said flatly.   
  
"Yup! Mr. Shao taught me how to tie a knot and gave me my watch! The other one was kinda mean though, she wanted to leave so badly, for some reason. They were funny!"   
  
To her credit, Bulma did not twitch one eyebrow nor seriously consider throwing her son into the dishwasher. "You need to tell us these things honey. Shao and Mai huh? I thought those two'd been killed by Daimou..."   
  
"Sorry, I kinda forgot," Trunks stated cheerfully   
  
Vegeta was not nearly so patient. "You 'kinda forgot', huh? I'll teach you to 'kinda forget.'"   
  
Bulma stood up, "Now look Vegeta, these two aren't anything even remotely resembling a threat! Not yet, anyway. They aren't strong enough to lift an large book, let alone blow up the sun like everyone else in this godforsaken fighting club!"   
  
"I don't care about that, the brat's gotta learn to respect his betters. TRUNKS! We're going straight to the training room---TO SPAR!"   
  
Both Trunks and Bulma gasped. Then Trunks started to wail, "NO, PLEASE, NO MORE SPARRING, PLEASE, I'LL TAKE 500x GRAVITY, BUT NO SPARING!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Vegeta's expression didn't change a whisker, seeing as how he wasn't a cat. Trunks was growing increasingly desperate, and then he saw the object on the table, the only object that would be of any importance, as it turned out. His eyes lit up. Without so much as a backword glance, he snatched the DB-radar and ran out, screaming "You may get me but you'll never see the Dragonball Ra-dart ever again!"   
  
"**GET BACK HERE!!!**" Vegeta roared, but Trunks wouldn't even heed _his_ words anymore. "_Thanks_," Bulma said icily, "I don't know what I'd do without you. Maybe I'd even get something done _before_ distaster struck."   
  


* * *

  
The first thing that came to mind was, "I'm hungry." Well, actually, that's probably not true, the first thing that came to mind was the pretty color of the rock in front of him. _Then_, "I'm hungry." Regardless, the third and quite permanent thought that settled in was, "How exactly will I die? Claws or fangs?"   
  
The certain satisfaction he'd taken was silly, verging on childish, but every time he'd started feeling guilty, he remembered that a) she'd tried to kill him in a helicopter and b) she HAD asked for it. Besides, he'd never really thought about how much variety he could put into his flying. He could do barrel-rolls, flips, rapid cork-screws, and occasionally those excitingly tight turns that you make right before slamming into immobile objects. Sometimes he even flew upside-down, like he was lying down on a comfortable bed of air.   
  
Videl's screaming had persisted throughout the whole thing, and his cheery "You-asked-for-it"'s were met with screeched curses. Actually, her vocabulary was quite colorful and full of variety; she could probably go on for an hour without repeating herself. Though he'd wished that she'd stop pounding his back.   
  
Then he decided, despite all of his intelligence and rational thinking patterns, amd completely demolishing years of patience and care through tough battles, to try and show off by doing something stupid. Not just stupid. "Macho" stupid.   
  
He flew at a low angle right into a big forest, going slow in that he hadn't yet broken the sound barrier. Yet, despite some admitedly impressive evasions, his leg eventually clipped a tree. The first thing that struck him was the sudden lack of space between him and the ground. What struck him after that was about fifty yards of underbrush, a couple trees, and a small but quite solid mountain.   
  
Videl had fallen in the lake right before. He could tell, because of a small but growing puddle (which hoped some day to be a lake like its dad), right next to him. And the tapping foot. _Maybe I should just play dead_.   
  
"You know, to be quite honest, you'd think that a 400mph collision with about half of a forest would kill someone."   
  
He flinched, face thankfully hidden by the small pile of dirt it was burried in. "Um," said his muffled voice, "Can we just pretend this didn't happen..."   
  
Videl started dragging him by his legs out of the rather long tunnel in the rock, at a average-pace, but with the kind of stride that just _dares_ you to try and stop it. Water sprayed off her shirt and down his back. "If you hadn't dropped me into that LAKE, I'd be DEAD right now, you know."   
  
He started grabbing at various chunks to slow the progress, but Super Strength has no function when gripping onto Loose Rocks. Desperation set in. "Um....I'm only a little boy, I dunno better!"   
  
Videl actually stopped for a second. "You know, that REALLY sounded like a small, whiny child. That's impressive. Had practice?" The Death March then continued.   
  
"Would you mind if I just lied here for a while? This is nice, soft rock."   
  
"You're actually really light, you know that? You should eat mor----PSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry, I almost said something really stupid."   
  
She finally pulled him out into the sunlight and dropped his legs. "Well, actually, despite the threat of a very quick and painful death, that was kind of fun. Wish I could do that. If **_I_** could fly, though, **_I_** wouldn't make mistakes like that!"   
  
"Yes, haha, funnn-GNNNGH!"   
  
See, there are visions, and then there are _Visions_. This Vision, one of Videl standing in sunglight in wet spandex shorts and a wet, translucent white teeshirt, would've made even the worldliest, most girl-desensitized guy stutter, and most probably need a good cold glass of water to regain his senses. Gohan was, in this sort of situation, on the other side of the worldly scale. He being not yet fully of age, and having a somewhat sensitive nature to these sorts of things didn't help either. This was having a comparable effect on him as that of an upset elephant in a china shop with a sledgehammer caught in its trunk.   
  
Videl continued talking, "You know, I suppose I should've been afraid for my life or something like that, but there was this feel to it--get up please--and I honestly can't think of one thing I've done in my life that is more exhilerating." She took a deep breath of fresh air, (the elephant stampedes through the Tea Set Aisle). "You ok? Your face looks like you hit it hard. It's really rather red, do you want some ice? I must say that I'M a bit sore myself, and I DON'T fly." She stretched a sore back muscle by bending backwards, arms above her head (it tosses aside the sledgehammer, and picks up a flamethrower.)   
  
She continued mercilessly in midstretch, "You're shaking a great deal too. And I'M the one who got DRENCHED, can you tell? You know, the robo-baby probably didn't like that all that much, but it already has a bullet in its head and mud all over it. I suspect the hit didn't--are your eyes ok? They look kind of swollen, and your pupils went all tiny."   
  
"Ngh---ngggh--"   
  
"What IS the matter with you? What, do I have something hanging out of my nose? Oh for gods sake open your eyes, I'm not THAT mad, ok?"   
  
He wanted to say, Hey Videl, you're wearing a painfully wet white T-shirt that I can see through, the area underneath it is currently causing widespread fires and explosions in my mental psyche, various small and hitherto ignored saiyan instincts are screaming at me to do Bad Things, oh and did I mention that you forgot to put on an undershirt this morning?   
  
Somewhere in the path from his brain to his mouth, the words became, "O-o-o-kay..."   
  
He had hardly stood up before she latched back onto his back (the clerk and staff flee screaming from a fiery shower of plate shards). The boy tried to make a whimpering noise. "Geez, you know, this shirt is really pretty wet. The coldness seeps through right to the skin. Would you mind if you flew slowly, I don't want this to rip off or anything *RIIP*. Uh oh."   
  
The sigh was inaudible, but the *THUD* could be heard from miles away.   
  
Then there came an irritated voice that was nearly as loud, "That hurt, dammit! I think you ripped the baby's shirt even more!"   
  


* * *

  
Pilaf stared at the six dragonballs he'd collected and sighed moodily. Aside from a few setbacks with the army itself, everything was going splendidly. So what the hell was bothering him so much?   
  
The plan'd probably work. Goku couldn't face all of them at the same time, once he got things rolling. The spies were working all right, and, even better, the famous Satans were completely unaware of everything. The "Gold Fighter" hadn't been seen in a few weeks, and Pilaf suspoected the whole thing had been made up. The part with the three year old in the lingerie store was a bit too much.   
  
So, no problems.   
  
He sighed again. That was the PROBLEM. Everything was going too easily, with too much manpower. There wasn't any sense of accomplishment! No diabolical laughter! No idiotic sidekicks! No plan-wrecking heroic escapes! He felt more alone with his army than he had with just Shao and Mai, who now only saw him a couple times a week. Instead of mysterious castles, he had a little office at the edge of the army's camp.   
  
There weren't any of the familiar people he'd come to know and hate! And the new breed of "heroes" was a disgrace! Hercule Satan had turned out to be little more than a muscled baffoon who was about as smart and brave as pork roast. His daughter was far more clever, but too selfish and distractable to actually put two and two together about the maid. The Briefs, once a real thorn in his side, were apparently too busy arguing amongst themselves to be any threat, and God knows what had happened to Son Goku (he actually did know, but that's beside the point).   
  
It wasn't any---any FUN without Goku!   
  
Where was he to screw things up? Where were those lovable yet utterly foolish friends of his that he would always save in the nick of time?   
  
He'd spent countless years of his long and foolish life seeking world domination, and now he had it right in his hands, without any sort of threat to it. Unfortunately, this wise train of thought, one incredibly rare in as small a mind as Pilaf's, was nearing the end of its run, and would momentarilly be replaced by dreams of young female servants and personal chefs.   
  
Quite frankly, he felt old. There wasn't even a wacky slapstic comical thing happening to him, as the scene faded out....   
  


* * *

  
Elsewhere....   
  
Let the camera focus on a land far off, far away, indeed, farther than the reach of any spaceship. This was the Afterlife, ruled over by the proud wise sages called the Kais, as well as the Grand Kai.   
  
Well, actually, this is not entirely true. The Grand Kai did very little aside from sit in his chair and cheer on local Afterlife Tournaments. The infamous Northern Kai was a large and rather bothersome creature with an annoying sense of humorand a talent for gloating, and the Southern Kai was a pompous braggart to whom the word "gracious loser" was a collection of pretty syllabels. The East Kai was a tyrant beyond even stereotypical literary standards in her treatment of her fighters, and the west Kai was a dwarf with an eye-glass and an extremely exaggerated notion of his ability as a martial arts trainer.   
  
Daiou, though hard-working, wasn't exactly brilliant, and tended to decide the Fates of Souls (Heaven/Hell) on whether or not he'd eaten well that morning. The supreme Kais and above may very well have been wise and brave, but absolutely no one knew who they were, where they were, and what they did. So, essentially, the heavens weren't exactly perfect. But they worked.   
  
The two important dieties, in recent events, were the North and West Kais. Both, as previously mentioned, were as pompous and silly as the others, yet they had risen beyond them through their students.   
  
Goku is self-explanatory. His very existance caused massive battles, ridiculous odds, and terrible explosions. Each footstep he made in the Universe caused shockwaves felt by all the higher dieties (Which gave them terrible headaches. This wouldn't change even after his death, in fact, many often complained that it had grown worse). The Great Story had finally passed him on, leaving a brief but fiery chapter in its path. Yet, elected as a sort of Demi-God in that he can easily destroy all the Kais and all of hell at about quarter-power, he still appeared in The Footnotes and even occasionally as A Cameo.   
  
Sometimes, for fun, he would hang around Mr. Satan's Ouija board and spell out things like, "Hey, can you cook some food for me? Kaiou-sama doesn't really cook very well. Oh, and Cell sends his regards, says he can't wait to see you. Ciaou! -Goku-" (Mr. Satan would later be found hiding in the pantry, eating stale marshmellows and gibbering about his absolute, unaided victory against Cell. People would shake their heads and say, "only a true hero could've gone through such a horrible battle like that.")   
  
Pikehan, the West student, was a mystery and a paradox. He was very similar to Piccolo, except that he posessed none of the Namekian's explosive rage. He respected Goku, the only opponent he'd ever had that truly defeated him. No one else really interested him all that much. His character, indeed, could be compared to that of the calm after a terrible thunderstorm.   
  
He was, at this point, being taught how to play "Old Maid" by Goku and the North Kai. And bubbles.   
  
"I'm the WHAT? AGAIN?"   
  
"Well," said Goku pleasantly, "You keep taking the card without looking, and Bubbles has a tendency to cheat sometimes."   
  
"OOK!"   
  
"*SNORT* That reminds me of a funny. See there's this accountant and he comes up to a flower-"   
  
"Please," Pikehan pleaded, "No more jokes!"   
  
"OOOOK OOOK AAAK!"   
  
"Hey, I'm a Kai, you know, what gives you the right to speak this way! Lousy west Kai, teaches no respect-"   
  
"I could theoretically blow all of you up."   
  
"I'm already dead, you know, thanks to GOKU!"   
  
Goku laughed "EEheheheh....come on guys, this is just a friendly game of cards!"   
"OOOK!"   
  
Little did Pikehan know that, before this card game ended, something quite drastic would happen to him.   
  
  
_To Be Continued...._   


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Finally started the damn thing again. Hope you enjoyed it! Review if y'like, I appreciate the feedback, as always. 


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